To think I've been backed into a corner?

[DippyDiplodocus]

So the story goes:

I'm getting married to my fiancé in September this year.

Getting married at a small hotel. There are a limited amount of rooms which have been reserved for certain special guests I.e bridesmaids, best man and family so we can all have a nice breakfast the morning after the wedding. We wanted this to kind of be an extension of the wedding celebrations but for it to be a little more intimate with a select few special people.

Fast forward to today.

I remind two of my four bridesmaids that the rooms are due for payment soon - this has all been pre arranged and agreed upon by them months and months ago.
They were both happy to pay to stay in the rooms and so I reserved one each for them and put non refundable deposits down on both rooms in order to secure them.

They now mention that they have asked another wedding guest plus her husband, who were not on the list of people who were to stay, if they would like to stay the night in the hotel and join in with the supposed intimate breakfast the next morning. This is the first I have heard of such an offer as I had never intended for the guests in question to stay over with us.

AIBU to be majorly pissed off about this?

Obviously I like the guests but we only wanted a select few with us. I now feel as though I've been backed into a corner and have to offer these people a room because they have been pretty much promised it by the bridesmaids without first consulting me or my fiancé.

Not only that but I've now got to re-jig all the rooms for the guests to accommodate this new couple, which is a ball ache but not impossible.

I just feel really frustrated that this has happened behind my back, five days before the rooms should be finalised. I feel like it's quite rude to just assume that my fiancé and I wouldn't mind so just advised this couple they can have what they like.

For context I'm also 26 weeks pregnant, tired, in pain with SPD, Working full time, did I mention tired, trying to organise the final stuff for the wedding, trying not to stress.... argh!

Just tell them it’s not possible as the rooms have all been allocated for the night of the wedding.
Actually make your bridesmaids tell them seeing as they’ve invited them to stay.

Just say there’s no room!

If you pre booked 5 rooms and have couples then that's it, there isn't any extra rooms. They need to book with the hotel direct.
Any guests have the right to book with your hotel, but that isn't you're responsibility.

Name it clear breakfast is for the wedding party.

Sorry I should have added, the two bridesmaids have said they want to bunk in together, making a room free.
I'll still have to re-arrange everyone though as the rooms they had weren't suitable for doubling up.

hmmmm. Sounds like two of the bridesmaids are trying to save themselves some money.

Is your wedding costing them a lot? (I'm thinking about the hen).

No, the room is all they are paying for.

Why do t you just make the. Bridesmaids share and out this couple in one if their rooms? They invited them After all. Maybe that’s what the want you to do? Weddings are expensive maybe they don’t want to pay for a room each.

I think when it comes to things like weddings, if you want things done totally your own way then you pay. If you expect others to pay (whether they’ve agreed or not months ago when the future doesn’t seem as expensive) then they get wiggle room.

Perhaps they don't but surely it would make more sense to just tell me that instead of inviting another couple along?

I would speak privately to the 2 bridesmaids and say you don't want this couple there if it really matters to you. Do you know why they would do this though? It seems odd if they are not a part of the same close friendship group.

So there will be 2 extra people at breakfast?
Are the family of the bridesmaids?

I think I'm more pissed off about the breakfast the next morning than them staying over to be honest.
We are all friends but this certain couple I just didn't particularly want to be at the breakfast the next morning because they're not really part of the inner circle of the wedding party, if that makes sense?

Sorry Northend, I don't quite understand your question?

YABU as you haven't paid for the rooms, so you can't say they can't share in my opinion.

You want them to stay, but they have to pay? You're being unreasonable.

YABVU and bridezilla. Presumably it might be more convenient for this other couple to stay overnight. If you didn't want them there, you shouldn't have invited them.

Shouldn't your "intimate" breakfast be for just you and your new husband? You've invited people to join you, which is a bit unusual for the morning after your wedding (or am I out of touch with current trends?) so they probably hadn't understood that you were trying to keep it exclusive.

I'd have a room service breakfast with your new H and leave them all to do whatever they want. Some of them will be tired/hungover and will probably be happier skipping breakfast or having it on their own timescales.

Concentrate on your wedding day and don't make this breakfast an extra thing to stress about. Imagine waking up on your first morning as a married woman and how lovely it will be not to have to stress about guests and family and friends and all the rest of it and just revel in your first morning as a married couple, together in a hotel and privacy.

We are all friends but this certain couple I just didn't particularly want to be at the breakfast the next morning because they're not really part of the inner circle of the wedding party, if that makes sense?

yes, you want to be exclusive and a bit like a small child saying "you're kind of my friend, but not one of my best friends, you're only welcome at some bits not others"

You haven't paid for your bridesmaids room

I don't blame them for 'bunking' in with one another to share the cost.

If you were paying for the rooms then fair enough

If you're not paying for the rooms I don't think you get the final say over who stays in them. I can understand what you mean about the breakfast but really it's just breakfast, it's not your wedding. You'll just have to be ok with it or risk looking OTT.

I should imagine it's a cost thing. They are saving the cost of half a room, and probably think they've done you a favour filling the extra room.

Frustrating.

Can you just say to the bridesmaids that unfortunately the room in question isn't available for a couple, and not mention the possibility of moving everyone around to accommodate them? That way if the bridesmaids still want to double up and save money on the room they can (I think in that case you should just forego the deposit and forget about it) but you won't have to have the couple gatecrashing your small family/wedding party breakfast.

IronMan deliberately obtuse or what? That's uncalled for. The OP can have whoever she likes at an event the NEXT DAY - its not part of the wedding its something that she wanted to arrange privately for a set group of people. But even if it was the same day - some people have evening invitations, some people are invited to the ceremony etc - how does it make her like a "small child"?! Is no one is allowed to organise things with only a few people? WTAF?

If they are paying for the room and want to share they will need a twin room. Did you book them a single room each? If so just tell them you booked them a single room each. It sounds as if the single room that is freed up will not accommodate the couple of friends. I would tell your bridesmaids it is such a pity they did not tell you they wanted twin/double rooms at the time as you booked them single rooms.

We had breakfast with a few friends on the day after our wedding 30 years ago, so I wouldn’t exactly describe it as a “current trend”. I think it’s gained ground since the bride and groom have stopped leaving for their honeymoon in the evening so they and others in the wedding party stay in the same hotel, so it’s nice to have breakfast together - carries on the celebration a bit longer.