To ban this man from my cafe?

[OrangeJam]

Have NC as I've spoken to people in RL about this.

I promise I'm not the poo troll.

There's a man that's been coming in to my cafe every morning for a few weeks now.

He orders a coffee and sits doing work on his laptop at 8.30 when I open up.

Every FUCKING DAY he does a massive shit in the toilet and leaves a mess everywhere. It's utterly disgusting and I obviously have to deal with it. I'm normally there on my own as I don't get many customers at that time of day, but today a lovely woman was in with her baby and went to use the toilet after him.

She obviously didn't use it and I had to profusely apologise. He was the only other person there so it was obviously him. He could hear me talking to her and just sat there, not an ounce of embarrassment. I'm actually getting really anxious about this now and I don't know what to do. It's horrible. It's a horrible way to have to start my day, every day.

I want to ban him but I'm too "nice" and REALLY don't want the confrontation. It feels so awkward.

Help! I don't know what to do.

I bet his morning coffee makes him 💩. Give him decaf tomorrow and see if the same happens

You don't need to engage in a long conversation about his toilet habits. Just say, sorry, we're not going to be able to serve you here any longer. (and don't let him use the toilet). If he asks why, say because I have to clean the toilet after you have used it every day.

@BrynsPicasso

Omg.

That is an amazing idea. How did I not think of that?

I have a medical condition that can cause me to use the loo unexpectedly.

I've thankfully only been caught out a few times and have cleaned up after me every time (and I'm disabled).

It's taken me a while as I'm slow and maybe I've flushed several times, and maybe there's been a queue for the disabled loo, but it's as clean as I can get it and after all the time I take, it no longer smells.

If I can clean up after myself in a public loo, just about anyone can. It absolutely infuriates me that people leave public loos (or other people's houses) dirty after themselves. Selfish an unnecessary.

I feel for you, OP, but can you get someone in to guard the loo for a week or so? They can (very obviously!) go in and check it before he goes in and then wait outside for him to finish and check it again (I suggest you pay this poor person quite well for this job!).

Maybe he'll move on and blight some other poor business owner.

"I need to work out how to add a different password for customers - if anyone knows please enlighten me!" Ask your isp

"I'm so angry with myself that I've let it go on for so long" good! Now direct that anger where it belongs!

"I can't lock the door"

Unleash your inner Jean Valjean and woman the barricade .

Hums Do you hear the people sing......

Justalittle I could try that but I can't actually switch the WiFi off as I need it for my own laptop etc. I need to work out how to add a different password for customers - if anyone knows please enlighten me

Try a dual band router. I'm pretty sure you can have a different password for each band.

Get one of them jokey bathroom signs that tell them to clean up

It's not the caffeine that makes you poo, all coffee is full of fibre. Giving him decaf won't make any difference.

But do you need a different password for customers? Change the password and you can have the new password, just don't let him have it.

Poo at home should be on the national curriculum.

We have gone to unisex toilets where I work. I get in early. Without fail 2 guys go in every morning, not together obvs, and spend ages in there. Early morning shit to be crude, of the messy kind. People avoid those loos until later in the day. It’s gross.

Just tell him he is no longer welcome. Why would you rather clean his shit every day than tell him this?

You really need to have a separate login for you to use and a different one for customers. Very insecure having the customers all use yours, especially if you do banking on your laptop.

Just ask him to not use the toilet anymore as he leaves it in a disgusting state.

Do you need a separate password? Maybe you could just change it but not give it out until after he's gone?

Since you can't lock the door, I would definitely put a sign on it referring to the mess and asking people to leave it clean. Make specific reference to the cleaning tools and products available.

Could you lock bathroom and have a sign to request the key from you?

Don't hate me... but I think, if you value his custom, then you just need to be prepared to clean it.

Ultimately, the loos are part of your facilities and sometimes people just need to go. Itcould be a small child, or an unfortunate accident, it just so happens that you know it's this particular man. He could have a medical issue, and for whatever reason, he enjoys coming to your cafe every morning.

Obviously you don't want it affecting other customers, but you're responsible for the cleanliness of the facilities overall.

Obviously if it's really disgusting and a hygiene risk then consider telling him he isn't welcome, but maybe check the legalities of this first of all.

I saw a really horrible “joke” as a kid where you put cellophane under the toilet seat so that the pee splashed back at the person as they peed. Maybe if you did this, I’m sure if his morning shit is as explosive as it sounds he’d get his comeuppance! I appreciate ensuring that he is the next customer to use fb toilet might be difficult though...

I just want to flag up what a previous poster mentioned. I would bet my house on the fact that:

He is doing this on purpose. It is his fetish

He does not have a medical condition. He is not being caught short. He is deliberately fouling the toilet because he gets his rocks off from the knowledge that you are cleaning up after him. He is a disgusting, perverted cunt. Ban him.

...all coffee is full of fibre

No it isn't.

HateSummer, I don't know if you intended your last post to be humorous but it made me laugh out loud until I had a tear in my eye. Not even sure why!

Is there a loo brush in the toilet, so he can actually clear up after himself?

Maybe start baking date and bran loaf and other things with decent roughage for him?

So he’s filthy and rude. And I bet he gets off on making you clean up after him. Just tell him he’s no longer welcome.

gotta say i dont get the upset about poop on here at all. its poo we all do it. sometimes it smells.

it is normal to poop up to several times a day so not eveyone can do all their poops at home. if its in the toilet bowl amd the seat is clean then i dint think hes doing anything wrong. yes it would be nice if he cleaned the bowl but expecting that from customers might be a bit much. do you provide a toilet brush? he cant really make his own poop smell less can he?