To ban this man from my cafe?

[OrangeJam]

Have NC as I've spoken to people in RL about this.

I promise I'm not the poo troll.

There's a man that's been coming in to my cafe every morning for a few weeks now.

He orders a coffee and sits doing work on his laptop at 8.30 when I open up.

Every FUCKING DAY he does a massive shit in the toilet and leaves a mess everywhere. It's utterly disgusting and I obviously have to deal with it. I'm normally there on my own as I don't get many customers at that time of day, but today a lovely woman was in with her baby and went to use the toilet after him.

She obviously didn't use it and I had to profusely apologise. He was the only other person there so it was obviously him. He could hear me talking to her and just sat there, not an ounce of embarrassment. I'm actually getting really anxious about this now and I don't know what to do. It's horrible. It's a horrible way to have to start my day, every day.

I want to ban him but I'm too "nice" and REALLY don't want the confrontation. It feels so awkward.

Help! I don't know what to do.

How much profit is he giving you from one cup of coffee, put that against the loss he is generating by you spending time cleaning up after him and you losing other customers because of his mess.

Print out the Out of Order sign for your loo now, and make sure you lock it too, he might try to use it anyway!!!

Dirty got. Have you a loo brush (all debates about that aside)? Give people stuff to clean with and put up a sign saying “ please leave this toilet as you’d wish to find it” at first and then intensify the campaign. Maybe a bottle of VIPoo, pack of toilet brushes, 2 bottles air freshener, bleach and toilet duck aplenty
Then tell him never to darken your pan again

POsy - I have no idea. What I meant was that if this is identical to the other thread then the fact it’s been posted twice would suggest the op (as op of both threads) is a little interested in poo

Lock the door, and put a sign on it saying "please ask at counter for key". Attach label to key saying "Please check the toilet is clean after you use it - if not, brush, spray, do the right thing" or something like that.

Once he's been and gone, you can leave the door unlocked as usual.

I do think there are people who have simply never been properly house trained. Maybe his mum never got him to do his share of toilet cleaning. Maybe he needs it spelled out.

Having a medical condition affecting bowel movement doesn’t render him unable to clean up
He’s ambulant enough to walk to cafe, independently carry hot drink, transfer in/out of a seat, walk unaided, tolerate the public mileu and then defecate
Yet he cannot clean up afterwards

It's a different poster everyone. The shitting man OP is still very much around and a regular poster

It's SarahJconnors or something but I'm not confident enough of the exact username to @ it to summon her here!

@sarahjconnor was the OP of the other shitting man thread. Maybe PM her...?

Haha, no I'm not the troll. I wish I was and that this wasn't real.

I do remember the man in the office thread - I thought that was real. This is very similar, I know.

Ok, what is worse? Cleaning it or dealing with him?
If cleaning his shit is worse than you will have to tell him. Say I’m sorry but this is going to be your last coffee here, it’s on the house. If he asks why, tell him that the loos are cleaned each morning and then have to be done half an hour later when he has been the only customer. If he tells you it’s s disability though, you are in the proverbial.

This is the thread (unfortunately it's full) about the other man....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3089895-AIBU-re-shitting-man?pg=1

Pop on the kettle and settle down for a good read!

So does he hang around after his poolosion? If so go over with the bleach and loo brush and tell him he hasn't finished in the toilet. Or you could get a handyman in to put in a lock, lock it in the mornings so he has to ask for the key and then you can say "no because you're a dirty bastard". Then unlock it for the normal customers after he pisses off.

Or alternatively change the WiFi password to "cleanupyourshit" and hope he gets the hint.

Found it!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3089895-AIBU-re-shitting-man

@Sarahjconnor

OK, so there are lots of really good suggestions on this thread already.

Instead of just continuing the conversation agreeing how grim it is - which of these many helpful suggestions are you going to put into place, OP?

OP has right to refuse service. Don't sell him any more coffee, just ban him. There's no disability that makes you make a mess that you don't bother cleaning.

Sorry but as with so many threads on mn this is a case of op needs to be assertive.

You're running a business. The idea is to make money - I guarantee he is losing you money, nursing a coffee for heaven knows how long, the cost of cleaning up his disgusting mess AND that is more than likely losing you customers. I wouldn't go back!

Just ban him! He's taking the piss.

Soon as he turns up "you're no longer welcome in this establishment" simple job done.

There was another thread a few days ago as well about a workman peeing all over a woman's bathroom. What's wrong with these people?

I know I should confront him. It's just easier said than done.

YANBU to ban him, though I think it would be more reasonable to give him a warning first. e.g. Next time he comes in tell him that his abuse of the toilet facilities won't be tolerated as it leaves you unable to provide a reasonable service to other customers. If he needs to use the facilities he will need to clean up after himself or find another coffee shop. If he goes into the toilet, check immediately afterward and, if necessary, just tell him "Don't come back.".

Re medical conditions - I have ibs and can get caught out with diarrhoea occasionally but I would never leave a mess like this. At the very least I'd lay paper in the loo to keep it clean.

What's his routine, coffee then poo or poo first. Can you nip off and put up a out of order sign up when you see him getting up to use the loo. Is the mess just down the toilet, it sounds a bit gross, you could have a quiet word and say he's blocked it several times.

He's just so blasé about the whole thing.

He might just deny it.

I can't lock the door so I'll just have to get over my awkwardness and say something.

I would put Pinga’s suggested message up between 8 and 9

But probably add to it the time at what is happening. If that doesn’t sort the issue explain the situation and tell him that you are afraid you cannot continue to provide service for him.

I wouldn't say it was about the toilet issue as he may claim a medical issue (that's taking the piss but wouldn't put it past him)

IF he pushes for an explanation "your actions are costing me business" but actually you don't owe him an explanation - it's private property you can ban whoever you like (within the law).

I agree with PP who said lock the loo in the morning so he has to ask for the key. Hand it over, look him in the eye and say please clean up after yourself. If he doesn't, next time he asks refuse and tell him why.