To ban this man from my cafe?

[OrangeJam]

Have NC as I've spoken to people in RL about this.

I promise I'm not the poo troll.

There's a man that's been coming in to my cafe every morning for a few weeks now.

He orders a coffee and sits doing work on his laptop at 8.30 when I open up.

Every FUCKING DAY he does a massive shit in the toilet and leaves a mess everywhere. It's utterly disgusting and I obviously have to deal with it. I'm normally there on my own as I don't get many customers at that time of day, but today a lovely woman was in with her baby and went to use the toilet after him.

She obviously didn't use it and I had to profusely apologise. He was the only other person there so it was obviously him. He could hear me talking to her and just sat there, not an ounce of embarrassment. I'm actually getting really anxious about this now and I don't know what to do. It's horrible. It's a horrible way to have to start my day, every day.

I want to ban him but I'm too "nice" and REALLY don't want the confrontation. It feels so awkward.

Help! I don't know what to do.

Haha this would happen at my work all the time.

Small cafe/takeaway type place (think bacon rolls, coffee, newspapers) near the train station and lots of workies coming in. My boss would just lock the toilet in the mornings (had one of the locks you can undo with a coin) unless a regular asked to use.

People would sometimes just come in to shit, didn't even buy anything. There was also an old guy who would empty his colostomy bag and at first it would go everywhere (ok not really his fault, he had only just got it)

People don't expect you to have a shitty loo brush! They do expect you to supply suitable cleaning products if you want someone to clean after themselves. I actually don't have a brush at home, so I do stick my hand in and wipe the bowl (jeez this is getting too detailed). I would never do that in a public toilet though! Some people think ban him, some think you should get a brush and have a word or put up a sign about cleaning up after himself. You're the only one that can decide what choice you are going with and actually get this problem resolved.

Ban him. 'Sorry, cannot serve you anymore. Your toilet use is putting off customers and costing me business. You'll need to go elsewhere.' The end. Simple.

Looking forward on an update to this tomorrow morning. Will he or wont he be back? It is a cliff hanger.

You don't need the bad social media threat.

You can probably get away with the broken toilet act tomorrow as well, but beyond that it looks dodgy.

I would go with changing the wifi password, but leaving the old one sign up (assuming you have a sign up with it) and when he orders his coffee, say that yes, there does seem to have been problems with it. Hopefully it'll get sorted soon... keep that up with him for a week. You need to provide toilets, you don't need to provide wifi. (You can change the sign once he's left for the day....)

A few days later, I might even go as far as "I'm sorry, the coffee machine is broken, I can do tea or a soft drink only". (Again, you can have it "fixed" once he leaves).

Basically a 2 week campaign, that his "nice coffee, use the free wifi and then go for my morning public shit" routine is interupted one way or another. After a fortnight of your cafe not being able to service his morning routine requirements, he may well move to another cafe that can fit better than yours.

Keep being a bit crap so he goes to crap elsewhere.

so erm did he come in today again op?

You can get loo brushes at a quid a pop. You could change it once a week or more at minimal expense - not rocket science really.

Category do you think this dirty individual will use the brush? Bets are on

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Actually yeah that’s a good point lol. Don’t half feel silly now. But I just wouldn’t do it in a public toilet, put a brush there which is fair enough but don’t expect customers to clean shit with their bare hand and some tissue.

You don't need to add a brush - he won't use it. He come in for wi-fi and toilet. Restrict them, he'll stop coming.

You said you didn't know how to set a password. What broadband provider are you using? I bet we can help you suss this out.

This man doesn’t even flush so he’s hardly going to use a brush

Or spray or anything as op said

Passthestarmix, I was responding to op's "I hate to think of people going in there after him or picking up a shitty loo brush but if that's what most people expect" comment. A loo brush doesn't have to be a horrid unclean thing lurking: if she did go that route, replacing it frequently would make sense.

Of course this bloke won't actually use it. Although there's more likelihood people will if there's a loo brush.

But in the absence of the nerve to ban him and her choices otherwise apparently being potentially lose other custom by stopping WiFi or pretending the loo is out of order, I think she'd be better off sucking it up and just cleaning after him. Which is better done at a distance with a loo brush than other methods when he's this vile.

I wouldn't touch a loo brush in a public loo if there was a chance someone would have used it before washing their hands. I would also assume it was there for the cleaner to use. I wouldn't leave a loo in a state either.

I agree with PasstheStarmix. This man won't use a brush.

OP, I hope you put up a sign reserving the right to refuse admission and just tell him you are exercising that right next time he shows up.

He will move on somewhere else. He probably moved to your cafe from the previous place that banned him.

Or (OP) if you have a friend who wouldn't mind being very straightforward, maybe you could get him or her to inform the man that he is being refused admission.

Having been a cleaner where we experimented with having loo brushes available vs not, people actually preferred having one available and we ended up bringing them back. (Was an office, not a cafe, but I wouldn't imagine that would make a difference). And as the cleaner, I preferred people having a loo brush.

Change your wifi name to 'dontleaveskiddersintheloo'.

If he does change it to 'dontleaveskiddersfirstthing'. Then 'stopleavingshitdownthepanbluejacketman'.

And if he still does it lock the door and change it to 'Iwarnedyouyoudirtybastard'.

Sorted.

yep - wifi password change to "ipromisetoleavethelooclean" ..
though i guess that might put off your other customers!

I really don't understand the problem. Loo brush and a message. If he ignores them, he has had fair warning and you can ban him without him being able to make any kind of legitimate fuss. I hate places that put you in the very difficult position of trying to clean up after yourself with no loo brush. By not having one you're basically giving out the message that you don't expect people to clean up after themselves, and will do it for them.

Don't try to be funny. Just change the wifi password and don't give him the new one straight away!

There are 3 elements to his morning routine:

1. Nice coffee
2. Using free wifi to use his laptop
3. public messy shit (which he may or may not enjoy making a woman clean up)

Today you started with limited no. 3 by not having an available loo. Long term, you can't keep the toilet unavailable, as you risk problems for your business. However the other 2 is more than possible to limit the supply of.

"broken" wifi (just with new password that you don't tell him when he asks and pretend ignorance as to why it's "playing up") is an option.

"broken" coffee machine so only able to offer tea and soft drinks is another morning's option.

Roping in a friend who'll hog the loo at his "go" time is another option.... or if he has a preferred table, keep it busy and/or rope in a friend with noisy toddlers they let run riot when he's trying to concentrate...

Don't do anything to risk your business, or that will look really bad on social media. But you can distrupt his routine. Keep it up, nice and low key so you are no longer his desired location for his morning coffee, laptop and shit routine.

and .. if he targets you on social media, point the social media at this thread!

Just tell him the mess he leaves the toilet in is unacceptable. Remind him you are providing a catering service and you do not accept him leaving toilets unusable for other customers. Let him know you cannot be expected to clean up after a grown man daily.

He will be so mortified, I doubt he will return.

I have an idea - get a friend (or hire an actor) to pretend to be a customer and use the loo after him. Get said friend to give him a hard time about how disgusting he has left it. It will get point across and not risk your business. Get friend to repeat daily if necessary.

Failing that, keep a wig and disguise out of sight and be the friend yourself

Before he goes on the lav I would say 'just let me check it's all OK on there first because someone keeps using it and leaving a real mess'

Get a loogun. It looks like a loo brush but sprays water by pressing a button - only works if the poo is fairly light though ie easily washed away. We have one. No scrubbing and nothing touches the loogun so no nasty germs.