Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor accused dd of telling lies despite evidence to the contrary.

178 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 03:02

Bit of background. We don't drink and dd 18 was with me the whole day.

About 11.30 this evening it was so hot ds said he fancied a cold fizzy drink. So did I. DD said she was going to have a shower and go to bed.

Ds and I nipped to the local garage to buy a drink leaving dd at home.

We had just driven in to the drive when I had a call from dd. She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

Very sore lump on her head , her vision was blurred and a cracking headache.

2 hours in A&E and the diagnosis is she has a hangover. The doctor refused to believe that dd didn't drink and was making up the incidence in the shower because in her mind apparently dd as soon as we left necked bottles of alcohol, no idea where said alcohol came from as there is none in the house and now has a hangover.

Oh and dd grazed her hand when she was out on Saturday. So dd is also bulimic.

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job

OP posts:
LolitaLempicka · 08/05/2018 03:06

Why would the doctor say that though? It sounds like your dd is too scared to tell you what really happened. The doctor would have asked if she had been drinking, and her answer made the doctor believe her symptoms were due to this.

Bloodybridget · 08/05/2018 03:06

Couldn't they do a breathalyser or blood test to establish whether or not your DD had been drinking? Hope she is fine by tomorrow.

JennyWoodentop · 08/05/2018 03:11

Your poor daughter, I hope she feels better soon.

It sound like you are monitoring her because she has had a head injury. That is important as situations can develop over time that are not immediately obvious. I don't know how thorough an assessment was done in A&E but post head injury observation with advice for when to come back for review if certain things happen is fairly standard.

Anything else, and the converation between them is just he said/she said. The doctor probably didn't make stuff up. If your daughter was knocked out & confused afterwards it may have seemed like she was drunk, so to ask about alcohol use is part of the assessment.

polkadotwellies · 08/05/2018 03:15

Very odd of the doctor. Has she got russell's signs? But I don't understand the hangover part at all.

Monty27 · 08/05/2018 03:19

Sunstroke?

lborgia · 08/05/2018 03:54

This doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. I was walking in to A&E one Christmas Eve - EBF 10 wk old baby, D&V, got so dehydrated I couldn’t think properly.. collapsed in front of an ambulance.. paramedics put me in a chair with straps, as DH explained what was going on.. when we got in, triage nurse said “not another drunk”.. and even when DH started explaining was having none of it.

I was admitted in the end, and had to have have DC brought in... I still wish I’d complained.

It’s insulting, and not nice for your daughter, but there’s sod all you can do about it, except maybe complain. Presumably they see so many drunks /“wayward” teenagers, this is their go-to analysis.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 04:07

Lolita dd told the doctor she doesn't drink. But the doctor didn't believe her. I think to her she was treating the profile not the person.
I don't think the woman could compute that some teens don't drink

I have been with both dc all day. The strongest drinks any of us had was a fanta. I had only left her for 30 minutes.

She also thinks dd is bulimic as she has a graze on the back of her hand and apparently bulimics injure there hands in the same spot when they are stuffing their fingers down there throats.

I know where she got that injury from as I too did the same thing with a similar injury last time I did the same thing. I certainly don't think I am bulimic.

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 08/05/2018 04:16

If she is still not right in the morning i would phone the gp and get an appointment. The doctor who saw her sounded useless i would want a second opinion.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 04:19

I can assure you Lolita dd is definitely not scared to tell me anything
Both dc know they can talk to me about anything and everything and frequently do.

Dd works sometimes 6-7 days per week. 12+hours per day. She had managed to fit in a.night away with some friends, a party the next day, a 12 hour shift working and a night with her bf before todays day out. She has said she cannot understand how people have the time to drink. The idea of not being able to drive her car or missing out on a job because you have been drinking to her is unthinkable

OP posts:
leghoul · 08/05/2018 04:29

I came on here to completely defend the doctor having read your title.. but actually the doctor sounds quite useless and odd, unless DD does indeed drink and has been protesting too mch to the contrary. I know A&E gets packed with alcohol related issues especially on hot bank holidays and in her age group but the doctor does sound rubbish/ at the very least extremely cynical.
Anyway, monitor re head injury and go back/seek advice if any doubt whatsoever, sorry you had this experience

RhiWrites · 08/05/2018 04:44

If this is in the UK contact PALS. It’s really strange for a doctor to be so insistent they ignore all evidence to the contrary.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 05:03

The last time dd had anything to do with hospitals she was away on a course

I got called to say she was throwing up constantly, couldnt keep even water down and was doubled over in agony and had been admitted to hospital.

I knew the symptoms as I had the same at around her age. I had a word with the doctors and told them it was gastritis.

Apparently Dr told dd to tell me to not go on Dr Google as it wasn't gastritis.

There first diagnosis was an ectopic pregnancy
Dd replied along the lines of if that was the case they better prepare for the second coming because it would be a miracle of biblical proportions

The second diagnosis I cannot remember exactly but it was something that only affected older people or obese teens.

Dd is a size 2 or 4

Finally after 4 days in hospital they did a scan and it was found she had gastritis

OP posts:
Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 08/05/2018 05:11

So sorry to hear what a shit time you have had with these doctors..I don't really have much advice but I would try and get your dd in the doctors today for a 2nd opinion and I would also complain about the doctor you seen last night..I hope that she feels better soon and a listening doctor can find out what's wrong instead of making up things cos they cba on a bank holiday cos if they can't do there job they shouldn't train for the job Flowers

junebirthdaygirl · 08/05/2018 05:39

Sounds like sunstroke. I fainted as a teen with sunstroke and fell down the stairs. Concussion makes people say very weird things making them sound half drunk. But l would strongly complain as she wasn't taking the fainting seriously enough. I hope your dd is back to normal soon.

mathanxiety · 08/05/2018 06:16

How upsetting for all of you.

I would bring DD to your GP asap and get a proper assessment done.

I would honestly complain about the A&E doctor.

If you're able to get out and get some sports rehydration drink, I would do that and get her to drink it.

I was once misdiagnosed as an alcoholic 'based on my ethnicity' (everyone knows how the Irish are...) to quote the doctor. I had gone to see him with classic gallstone symptoms, my liver function tests indicated liver function was affected, and I thought it would be a quick referral. Instead I was sent for a barium swallow (cos alcoholics get ulcers) and when that showed I had no ulcer, I was confronted in the waiting room of the surgery by the doctor. I had three more horrible gallstone pain episodes before I eventually had surgery. The surgeon wrote a blistering letter to the GP.

PathOfLeastResitance · 08/05/2018 06:24

When I went to a and e whilst having an anaphylactic reaction I was left to collapse on the floor whilst being berated by the receptionist for drinking too much, even carried on with this when I told her what was happening. The triage nurse took over and dragged me to a chair where I was told off for not sitting on it properly and that I had got myself in a ridiculously drunk state and what did I expect them to do about it? Luckily as I fell off the chair I was caught by a passing doctor who sprung into action and saved my life.

AngelsOnHigh · 08/05/2018 06:27

The OP is right. A and E do tend to treat the profile, not the person.

My accident prone DN accidently hit herself in the head with the lid of a wheelie bin. Off to A & E and was straight away asked if she had been drinking.

Öf course"" she said. Dr. said Öh thät explains things, off you go home". DN asked with great dignity "How can two cups of tea make me feel like this?".

Concussion makes people say very weird things and make them act in a very strange way.

You would think that even the most junior Dr. would know this.

Lifeontheoceanwave · 08/05/2018 06:36

Op hope your daughter is ok and had a good night. Doctors can be pretty useless always demand a second opinion if you’re not happy. I remember going to the dr years ago with what I told them were gallstones. I was told no the pain was in the wrong place. I explained I often get referred pain (my dad had gallstones and felt it in same place). But apparent it was impossible. Several consultant appointments one colonoscopy (where I was accused of abusing laxatives - wtaf) and an mri later anexcoted dr told me I had - gall stones. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and basically told to enjoy what time he had left! Nothing they could do. We got a second opinion and treatment and I guess he’s pretty much enjoyed the 20 years since this happened. If you’re not happy - the patient always knows best IMO seek a second opinion.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 08/05/2018 06:37

A size 2 or 4? As in UK sizes? How tall is she? Even if she's quite short she must be very thin. Are you sure her eating is OK? In that context the bulimia suspicion makes some kind of sense, tbh.

The aspersions re drinking aren't on.

Bananamanfan · 08/05/2018 06:43

My dsis was seriously ill with encephalitis and the a&e staff were convinced she was on drugs, despite her boyfriend and parents insisting that she wasn't. It was a stupid delay in what turned out to be a near fatal illness.

Mammyofasuperbaby · 08/05/2018 06:57

It astounds me what some HCPs think. I was in hospital after a bus crash and had no feeling in my left side - diagnosis - stop playing rugby! I've never played rugby in my life, turns out it was a trapped nerve and once it was released I was relatively ok but I could have been left with permanent damage if I'd followed his advice.
Also me and dp were asked about drug use at a midwives app, she believed me (pink t-shirt and jeans) but not dp and asked for the truth ( heavy metal drummer, all in black, tattoos ect) we don't drink, smoke or do drugs

Goodfood1 · 08/05/2018 06:59

I hate this about doctors its so frustating and dangerous. My DS was prescribed antidepressants at 14 after fainting, turned out his iron was nearly zero. I refused the prescription and changed doctors, but what if I'd believed him!!
Hope your daughter is ok and if possible make a complaint Flowers

Namastethefuckawayfromme · 08/05/2018 07:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marmelised · 08/05/2018 07:16

I had similar with my student daughter. She’d ended up inA&E abroad on the last night of a student sports trip with asthma attack.

Once home she still wasn’t right and we called 111. They sent an ambulance, despite us saying we were calling for ressssurance and it really wasn’t urgent.

Anyway, I was very slow to pick up that ambulance crew wanted me out of the room. Eventually they took her out to the ambulance ‘for tests’. Once they’d gone she told they had said they knew she couldn’t say in front of her mum but she’d been taking drugs hadn’t she?

She hadn’t, she doesn’t but even if she did she would have had no problem saying in front of me. But it was the default assumption of the crew. (Turns out the smoke machine in the night club caused irritation in her lungs).

Fruitcorner123 · 08/05/2018 07:23

I agree with AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight if these are uk sizes she is very very small and has fainted and some injury consistent with an eating disorder. Are you sure she hasnt got one?

Swipe left for the next trending thread