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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor accused dd of telling lies despite evidence to the contrary.

178 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 03:02

Bit of background. We don't drink and dd 18 was with me the whole day.

About 11.30 this evening it was so hot ds said he fancied a cold fizzy drink. So did I. DD said she was going to have a shower and go to bed.

Ds and I nipped to the local garage to buy a drink leaving dd at home.

We had just driven in to the drive when I had a call from dd. She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

Very sore lump on her head , her vision was blurred and a cracking headache.

2 hours in A&E and the diagnosis is she has a hangover. The doctor refused to believe that dd didn't drink and was making up the incidence in the shower because in her mind apparently dd as soon as we left necked bottles of alcohol, no idea where said alcohol came from as there is none in the house and now has a hangover.

Oh and dd grazed her hand when she was out on Saturday. So dd is also bulimic.

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job

OP posts:
OutsideContextProblem · 08/05/2018 07:31

Many years ago a relative who was a student nurse was once seen with a kidney infection by the nurses’ hostel doctor who insisted that she had an obscure and virulent STI normally only seen in promiscuous gay men and treated her for that. Fortunately her boyfriend was a student doctor and smuggled her into a ward and got her on intravenous antibios overnight, possibly saving her life. The hostel doctor was a notorious sexual harasser who viewed all young women as sluts to whom he had a right - he was finally struck off decades later when he was in general practice and no longer had power and rank over his victims.

Mammalamb · 08/05/2018 07:33

Hi, I’ve noticed some people are offended they were asked to leave the room while their teenager spoke to the doctor alone (so that they could ask about drugs). The doctor is just doing their job. From their POV the young person could have been doing drugs and they need to establish if this is the case. A colleague of mine lost her teenage brother as he had taken ill after using ecstasy and his friends were scared to tell the medics that he had been using it. If the medics were aware, they could have saved his life

OutsideContextProblem · 08/05/2018 07:34

I agree that talking to a teenager separately from their parents is an entirely sensible move.

windermerebell · 08/05/2018 07:35

I had a seizure at work (known epileptic) and was taking ages to come out of it so my boss called an ambulance. As I was coming round the paramedic said to me “I can smell alcohol on your breath, how much have you had?” IN FRONT OF MY BOSS. Angry
I was still really dazed and confused so could not answer him properly.
When I got to the hospital my husband met me there, a doctor came into the cubical and said “oh you are the one who is drunk at work and fell over, the paramedic said he has told your boss”
My husband went mad and insisted on them doing a blood test to check if there was any alcohol in my blood - after much arguemwnt from my husband and me as I was started to feel ok they did the blood test.
When it came back clear did I get an apology? Did I Hell. The doctor just shrugged and said it was an easy mistake to make with people who fit Angry
I made complaint and did get a kind of apology.
The worst thing was I had only started this job three weeks before and my boss who did not know me had contacted the chief excutive and HR about my “drinking”. Luckily because of the blood test I was able to prove I had no alcohol in my system, but If I had not had it I could have lost my job due to that so called Paramedic who should have known better.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 08/05/2018 07:38

I looked at the thread assuming you were probably wrong but no, it sounds like the A&E Doctor was useless. Hope your DD is feeling better.

I agree with the advice to contact PALS. You will get a response explaining why the doctor assumed alcohol, and she will learn to consider other diagnoses in future.

Idontdowindows · 08/05/2018 07:39

Oh goodness, your poor girl. Nothing so terrible as being dismissed as a liar by a doctor. We've just been there and it's costing one of my siblings their life.

So, PALS, take your girl back in if she's still not well, they may have overlooked a problem, if you're on good terms with your GP, get them involved.

JessicaJonesJacket · 08/05/2018 07:42

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job
I don't understand this. You're monitoring her overnight because she has a suspected head injury and could have concussion. Regardless of everything the doctor said, that's standard procedure for a fall and a bump on the head.
You're very defensive about your DD. I know it's difficult but I'd pause and consider if anything the doctor said could be true.

SoupDragon · 08/05/2018 07:46

A size 2 or 4? As in UK sizes? How tall is she? Even if she's quite short she must be very thin.

I would say that if she is 5’3” or below a size 2-4 is entirely appropriate.

DD is a 6 at 5’5” and certainly not skinny.

NewYearNewMe18 · 08/05/2018 07:47

That will be in her notes - complain and ask to see a copy.

Fitzsimmons · 08/05/2018 07:47

A&E doctors absolutely do treat the profile. When I was a student a friend of mine, born again Christian and as straight laced as they come, had a some sort of seizure in the early evening, after we'd all spent the day together, with no alcohol or drugs involved. A&E refused to treat her and sent her home even though she wasn't fully in control of her movements because she wouldn't admit to taking drugs and the doctor refused to believe it could possibly be anything else. Poor girl had several episodes after before she was eventually diagnosed.

Fruitcorner123 · 08/05/2018 07:52

SoupDragon i don't understand how her height makes 2 sizes smaller than your obviously very slim daughter ok? That's assuming she is very short.

Idontdowindows · 08/05/2018 07:57

Are we seriously discussing her size and weight now? I was the same size at her age and I was taller than she was. She is FINE for her height! I was also a skinny thing. (And I also got the eating disorder shit!) People vary in size. We're not all average.

Fruitcorner123 · 08/05/2018 08:04

We dont know her height but a size 0 is a uk size 4 so if she is a 2 that is even smaller than size 0. We are discussing it because the doctor suspected an eating disorder. Obviously none of us know if she is a healthy weight but I think some of us just wonder if the daughter is keeping something from her mum. That is not meant as a put down to your daughter OP, at 18 she is entitled to share with you what she chooses.

Checklist · 08/05/2018 08:06

Yes, DH took teenage DD to A & E after she had had about 45 seizures in 2 hours and the emergency medication had not worked - as per the protocol from Gt Ormond St! DD is known to have severe epilepsy.

Junior doctor in A & E told DH that DD did not have epilepsy and she was not having seizures! Half an hour later, after looking at what must be her copious notes, doctor told DH

“Oh you are right, she does have epilepsy!”

He then discharged even though she was asleep, after all the emergency drugs - when the whole point is the hope sleep will stop the seizures, and you are not supposed to wake people up after seizures anyway. DH had to practically carry her out!

When we told the consultant neurologist, he was speechless, and said it’s because they see so many teenage girls shaking (for other reasons, we assume)! He told us next time to insist they speak to the on call consultant neurologist!

Idontdowindows · 08/05/2018 08:06

So we're going from "my daughter fell, hit her head and got dismissed by the dr despite being unwell" to "OP, your daughter has an eating disorder and must be lying to you".

ffs.

RedDwarves · 08/05/2018 08:10

A size 2 in UK sizing is by no means "normal". Don't be daft.

I'm hoping the poster is talking in US sizes.

Certcert · 08/05/2018 08:13

Years ago, I was asked whether I took any drink/drugs, repeatedly, when I ended up in A&E. I had been there a few times after fainting, feeling breathless, etc., they couldn't find the cause.

FF to when I was pregnant with DC. I was still collapsing, periodically. They did more tests but this time tests relating to ethnicity; Sickle Cell, Thalassemia.

It turns out I had the latter, and I was displaying the symptoms.

I have a card I carry around, so hopefully if the same thing happens again, they will have something to go on.

chocatoo · 08/05/2018 08:23

Your daughter does sound very thin OP! Doctor wouldn’t have been doing their job properly if they hadn’t checked re bulimia with grazed hand.

Slartybartfast · 08/05/2018 08:24

I knew the symptoms as I had the same at around her age. I had a word with the doctors and told them it was gastritis.

but why are you telling the doctors this? Hmm

anyway, back to the head, hope she recovers soon with no lasting effects. crap of the doctor to assume

Lizzie48 · 08/05/2018 08:26

I have 2 DDs who are both very slim at 9 and 6. They're both very physically active and good at gymnastics. I can well imagine them being small sizes and having people worrying about eating disorders. It could well be assessed in their case, as they're adopted.

That will be something that I have to watch out for, but certainly not just because they happen to be slim. They have healthy appetites, though DD1 is picky with food.

Size 2-4 does sound very thin, though, if the OP is using UK sizes.

Yesbutnobutmaybe · 08/05/2018 08:35

I have an aunt who is naturally a uk size 6. She’s just super skinny and eats plenty. Whereas I tend to stick to around a 14-16, genetics are weird!

Op sorry your dad wasn’t believed, I hope she’s feeling ok this morning.

Yesbutnobutmaybe · 08/05/2018 08:36

Dd (stupid autocorrect)

Ohmydayslove · 08/05/2018 08:38

Are you in the uk op?

SoupDragon · 08/05/2018 08:41

i don't understand how her height makes 2 sizes smaller than your obviously very slim daughter ok? That's assuming she is very short.

Really? You don’t understand why someone shorter should be smaller in size?

My daughter isn’t “very slim”, that is the point. She is a healthy size for her height.

SoupDragon · 08/05/2018 08:42

As an aside, I wonder if people would have said she sounds “very fat” if the OP had said she was a size 16 🤔

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