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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor accused dd of telling lies despite evidence to the contrary.

178 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 03:02

Bit of background. We don't drink and dd 18 was with me the whole day.

About 11.30 this evening it was so hot ds said he fancied a cold fizzy drink. So did I. DD said she was going to have a shower and go to bed.

Ds and I nipped to the local garage to buy a drink leaving dd at home.

We had just driven in to the drive when I had a call from dd. She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

Very sore lump on her head , her vision was blurred and a cracking headache.

2 hours in A&E and the diagnosis is she has a hangover. The doctor refused to believe that dd didn't drink and was making up the incidence in the shower because in her mind apparently dd as soon as we left necked bottles of alcohol, no idea where said alcohol came from as there is none in the house and now has a hangover.

Oh and dd grazed her hand when she was out on Saturday. So dd is also bulimic.

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job

OP posts:
WinnersClub · 08/05/2018 11:17

I can't believe what I'm reading or it must be OP is abroad somewhere they use different sizing so a 2 is not what we think it is?

OP, I am 5ft 1. I went through a difficult time i'm my late 20s and couldn't eat properly, at my lowest weight i was a 6-8 size. I was bone thin, my cheek bones stood out and most people commented on how thin I was. I know this weight looks good on some people my height but on me it didn't. I was so thin i couldn't wear things like leggings without bulking up with socks first. At this point i was at the lower end of my BMI but still okay.

If your DD is 5ft 9, I just can't imagine how she is wearing clothes 2-3 sizes smaller than I was, how is that possible without being dangerously ill?

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 08/05/2018 11:17

If you mean a US size 4, then yes, at those measurements for an 18 YO very active teenager that's fine.

I'm curious why they would suspect bulimia due to a graze on the hand.

TheVanguardSix · 08/05/2018 11:18

It sounds like a combination of exhaustion (long work day, lots of social obligations, combined with a hot day in the sun) and being thin.

How's her blood pressure? I struggle with low blood pressure and anaemia and have done so since my teens (probably my entire life but wouldn't really have known as a child since BP and bloods aren't really done on young children). This can leave you vulnerable to episodes like this.

Make sure she goes to the GP and gets a full blood test done and a BP check. You can feel quite weak and dizzy with low BP (and anaemia, this goes without saying).
Sounds like she could do with more rest.
But sitting in the sun, probably not drinking enough fluids, combined with her hectic schedule resulted in that bad fall. Hope you're all ok.

I'm married to a GP and yes, sadly most GPs tend to 'assume', especially when it comes to teens. It doesn't mean they're not fit to be GPs, but it gets in the way of better diagnostics. I hope your DD had a brain scan, especially since she hit her head and had symptoms as a result. Did she black out? Did they rule out concussion?

TheVanguardSix · 08/05/2018 11:19

She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

So she did black out. Poor thing.
Did they scan her, OP?

BedtimeTea · 08/05/2018 11:20

Did your dd give blood or urine, or do a breathalyzer? Did they give her any treatments at all, saline drip? I'd be mad if somebody tried to say I was hungover with no actual proof. Especially while sitting there injured.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:21

In bed asleep ATM. She was awake to talk to the 111 doctor this morning who said she had to go for a further check up at her GPS.
Her head is still banging and she has a little blurred vision.

GPS told me to ring back at 12.30 to get an emergency appointment later in the day

OP posts:
LifeBeginsAtGin · 08/05/2018 11:22

Hold on. This thread is weird. OP are you ok?

First you said DD was bulimic and had the tell tale signs on her hands, then you said she eats a lot and doesn't make herself vomit.

I'm confused. You seem to make lots of assumptions but what is actually factual?

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:22

No Bedtime Tea

They said she would have to give a urine sample but non was taken.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 08/05/2018 11:24

Glad you are taking her back to her GP, or at least she is going back to the GP

manicinsomniac · 08/05/2018 11:25

I'm really confused by all the responses here. There's nothing in the OP to say that the girl fainted at all - OP says she slipped in the shower. The black out and subsequent dizziness was then caused by hitting her head when she fell, no? SO the OP was (quite rightly!) concerned that she had concussion. Which should have been treated as a valid concern by the doctor.

I don't think YABU at all.

Your daughter is underweight but that may or may not mean that she has an eating disorder. She might be eating too little for other reasons (fussy, busy, not getting hunger signals) or she just be a very thin 18 year old who will gain weight naturally over the next few years. Hours and hours of dancing can keep you unnaturally small. Same with gymnasts. I'm a size 2-4 and I do have anorexia but I'm in my 30s. At 18 it's not necessarily so concerning. I also have an underweight teen dancer. She does need to eat more and gain weight but she isn't anorexic. There is a difference.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:25

LifeBegins it was the doctor who said she was bulimic not me.

Not too sure what assumptions I am making.

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 08/05/2018 11:27

US size 4 is a UK 8 so that’s fine.

A US size 2 would be a UK size 6.

If she’s really a UK size 2 then that really is very very tiny.

Some very tall people are naturally very skinny. And jibes about EDs can make them very self conscious. On the other hand she may actually have one.

I had a friend at school who was 5’8ish - very tiny frame and no hips and could wear children’s clothes.

manicinsomniac · 08/05/2018 11:28

LifeBegins - OP didn't say her daughter was bulimic - the doctor decided that based on a scrape on her hand (and presumably her low weight). He also decided she was drunk. Those two thing have led him to ignore the signs of concussion which is what the OP is worried her daughter has. OP does not think her daughter was drunk or has a problem with food. The girl slipped and banged her head, she didn't faint.

At least, that's my interpretation.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:29

Thank you Manicinsomniac DD when she was at school and college could do 5-8 hours of dance per day as it was a ft dance school.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 08/05/2018 11:29

I think the doctor was female btw

BeyondParody · 08/05/2018 11:31

I can believe this. I was at a festival - so actually while not drunk I had had a few drinks - and my chair tipped backwards off a curb and I knocked myself out. I was still unconcious when I got to the medical tent (staffed with actual a&e staff btw, not St. John's). They treated me as if I was drunk, and I have a long list of medical problems that they ignored too.

Few days later I saw my own GP and got a diagnosis of concussion and whiplash. I complained to the festival.

Quartz2208 · 08/05/2018 11:31

To be fair though why she slipped (just slipped/fainted due to bulimia/alcohol) should not actually matter when dealing with a concussion

BeyondParody · 08/05/2018 11:34

Well quite, quartz. Even if she's rolling drunk and bulimic, if she's banged her head they need to look at it!

Lizzie48 · 08/05/2018 11:34

No one is actually saying she has an ED, she may just be very thin. As I said, my DDs are very thin, always have been, and they're into gymnastics. But just don't assume you know everything there is to know about what's going on in her life. It can be a very dangerous assumption.

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 08/05/2018 11:34

A 32" bust is a size 10! Confused

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:34

I do have a relative who was 6 ft tall and weighed 7.5 stone. Hid DD was 4stone 10lbs but was under 5ft tall.

They would think nothing of toasting a loaf of bread for breakfast smothered in butter. They had to eat every couple of hours otherwise they got absolutely famished.
No idea where it came from because his parents were both short and fat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 11:35

A 32" bust is a size 10

Not any more

OP posts:
flowermug2 · 08/05/2018 11:38

I'm curious why they would suspect bulimia due to a graze on the hand

They are calluses etc caused by repeatedly sticking fingers down throat to induce vomiting. Called Russell Signs or something.

It could just be a graze though

StaplesCorner · 08/05/2018 11:39

Just waiting for lifebegins to come back and apologise Hmm

crunchymint · 08/05/2018 11:41

I am assuming it is the injury on the hand plus the fact that she is very very thin, that naturally led the Dr to suspect an eating disorder.