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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor accused dd of telling lies despite evidence to the contrary.

178 replies

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 03:02

Bit of background. We don't drink and dd 18 was with me the whole day.

About 11.30 this evening it was so hot ds said he fancied a cold fizzy drink. So did I. DD said she was going to have a shower and go to bed.

Ds and I nipped to the local garage to buy a drink leaving dd at home.

We had just driven in to the drive when I had a call from dd. She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

Very sore lump on her head , her vision was blurred and a cracking headache.

2 hours in A&E and the diagnosis is she has a hangover. The doctor refused to believe that dd didn't drink and was making up the incidence in the shower because in her mind apparently dd as soon as we left necked bottles of alcohol, no idea where said alcohol came from as there is none in the house and now has a hangover.

Oh and dd grazed her hand when she was out on Saturday. So dd is also bulimic.

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job

OP posts:
TheOrigRightsofwomen · 08/05/2018 11:43

flower I know that such grazes can be caused by bulimic behaviour, what I meant was that it seems odd to come to that conclusion unless a person presents other symptoms. That was my question to the OP.

frogsoup · 08/05/2018 11:43

Erm...I have a 33" bust and I am a size 12!!! I agree this thread is deeply odd.

Slartybartfast · 08/05/2018 11:44

doctors in A & E see all sorts and are time limited.
the GP will hopefully get a better picture

TatianaLarina · 08/05/2018 11:45

Well quite, quartz. Even if she's rolling drunk and bulimic, if she's banged her head they need to look at it!

Yeah.

Serial123 · 08/05/2018 11:52

My measurements are v similar to your daughters' and I fit 8-10 in most places, though I am a couple of inches shorter.

TatianaLarina · 08/05/2018 11:52

I’m 32E and a size 8 - altho I can’t always squeeze my boobs into 8 tops. Smaller cup sizes can for sure.

Size 34 hips is a UK 6.

On the basis of her measurements I don’t think she’s that tiny.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 08/05/2018 11:58

We had this kind of thing with my uncle he was barely conscious and the first question the paramedic asked was had he been drinking he hadn't and we knew that turned out his diabeties was all over the place and he was nearly falling in to a diabetic coma. I had this with a resident in the dementia nursing home I worked in I had to take her to the hospital after she had asparated and the first question the Dr asked was did she drink she had end stage dementia and could barely speak because of it and had just been brought in from a dementia nursing home he had just looked at her notes and still asked if she had been drinking she of course said yes because she couldn't understand the question and I had to explain that no she hadn't been. They shouldn't automatically assume that someone has been drinking.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 12:05

Bra size 32A or AA.

Just seen Amal, George Clooneys wife at the Met Ball.

Her body shape is similar to dds

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 08/05/2018 12:08

My ds1 26 year old had a seizure last October, the paramedics were terrible to him, accused him of drinking and told his gf to take him to walk in centre.
They saw sense and blue lighted him A&E, it's so wrong to presume alcohol.
he is finally driving again after a 6 month ban, due to seizure.
and I'm so glad that the walk in centre treated him properly.

I would complain OP, it's the only way things will ever change.

tabulahrasa · 08/05/2018 12:17

Well I don’t know where you’ve been trying to buy clothes but my size 8 DD is a 30 bust...

So if your DD is just slim rather than the very underweight size you made her sound, then no you’re not BU.

RatRolyPoly · 08/05/2018 12:25

Can I just remind everyone that you can't spot an eating disorder by looking at someone's body shape alone. You can be very slim and not disordered. You can be "normal" and have a disorder. You can't be "not thin enough to have a real problem", and except in very exceptional circumstances you won't be thin enough that you must have a problem.

But marks on the knuckles are a sign - although as you rightly say OP they're not enough to go on in isolation.

Oblomov18 · 08/05/2018 12:25

Please complain.

I've had many experiences of this, and know of others that have too. And there are plenty of posters on this thread.

I've had this. Diabetic hypo. But after the lucozade/glucagon injection, I always take a very long time to 'come back round' to normality. My Dh and mum will confirm. Has been like this for 40 years!

We've had ambulance women (yes always women) claiming I was pissed, epileptic, mentally unstable etc. Because they test my blood sugar again and it's normal, but I haven't recovered. 3 or 4 minutes later I'm totally fine.

If Dh didn't insist, practically argue, fight my case, at least 3 times they would have carted me off for other medical conditions!!

It's not unheard of for health professional to be set in their ways /determined /unmovable. this happens in other professions too.

why could it not be the case in the op's dd's case?

Please don't let this drop.

RoomOfRequirement · 08/05/2018 12:39

I dont know how much she weighs, but I would consider finding out and checking her BMI online. I promise you, it will not say she's a healthy weight if she really is a size 2.

I understand you've had bad treatment in the past, but that doesn't mean everything every doctor says is wrong, and I'd try to look at the weight issue with a little more distance and objectivity.

RedDwarves · 08/05/2018 12:42

The UK doesn’t stock size 2 clothing (as far as I have seen), and rarely do places stock a 4. So either she’s getting her clothes from the US/Canada and the 2 is actually a 6 and the 4 an 8, or there is something off about what the OP is claiming.

Your daughter’s measurements sure as shit do not line up with the claims that she’s a UK 2-4.

PickAChew · 08/05/2018 12:50

I was a UK size 10 back in my teens and bigger than that. I was also 7 stone, soaking wet, which put me at underweight, even at 5'5. OK so your dd will be a lot more muscular than I was, but it's still extremely thin and understandable why the Dr assumed an ED.

Ginkypig · 08/05/2018 12:51

How many threads on here have massive lists of people comparing their measurements who are the same dress size but have stones of weight differences!

Dress size is not an accurate way to decide if someone is a healthy weight.

She's slim but she's also a dancer so it's possible that there's a problem but it's also possible that while very slim the dancing has made her muscled.

Professional marathon runners often look very very thin but are actually very strong. They are healthy, they eat a lot but they also burns lots.

Ginkypig · 08/05/2018 12:53

Op has also mentioned that dd or husband do get clothes from another country regularly.

Original poster
Oliversmumsarmy · 08/05/2018 13:02

Just for a point of reference. I am a rotund 46" bust and a 48" hips I currently wear size 16 trousers. (SportsDirect cargo trousers as I am into high fashion Grin )
I think the sizing in shops is very very skewed .

In the olden days I would probably be a size 24 but today's sizing bears no resemblance to any standard dress size.

Even my shoe size varies between shops

OP posts:
GuildedLily · 08/05/2018 13:11

@Lifeontheoceanwave that is so interesting about you and your dad. I had exactly the same thing with gallstones, and was wrongly diagnosed with a kidney infection, an ectopic pregnancy, kidney stones, and an ovarian cyst, each time getting worse and worse till they finally admitted me with pancreatitis caused by a gallstone getting trapped and the consultant figured it out. It is apparently impossible to have gallstones and have pain in your left lower back only Confused....I assumed I was the only one in the world this had happened to, such was there outright refusal to believe me.

kateandme · 08/05/2018 13:12

ratrolypoly thankyou for saying this.this is part of the problem and stigma to do with how eating disorder sufferers are treatd,diognosed and looked at.
you are often very poorly indeed at a normal weight foe a very long tim with an eating disorder.
don't make assumptions on weight please!by then if you do you are often toooooo late.it is the other symtoms that need to be captured.before they take the suffer to grasp and slowly kill them physically they will take their mind.

dentydown · 08/05/2018 13:23

I remember we had this with my great grandmother. She rang my mother in great distress because she was bleeding like a period. My mum called an ambulance and mum and I drove round.
When the paramedics turned up they were nice but started to say “oh you have a uti, nothings wrong, it’s nothing”. And started packing up.
Mum saw red. She pointed out in her school ma’am voice that a little old lady of 90 should not be bleeding out of any orifice, she’s in pain and distress and they are not leaving without her!
It turned out to be cancer which was causing some sort of haemorrhage. Quite serious and worthy of an ambulance!

Gazelda · 08/05/2018 13:23

OP, did you manage to get an emergency doc appointment?

RatRolyPoly · 08/05/2018 13:31

YY kateandme, I completely agree.

Lifeontheoceanwave · 08/05/2018 13:52

@Guildedlily apparently feeling gallstones on the left side of your back makes you impossible to diagnose even if every other symptom points st it. Even in my first dr appointment the dr said to the student if it was on the right side it would obviously be gall stones but can’t be on the left!

Fruitcorner123 · 08/05/2018 13:52

do have a relative who was 6 ft tall and weighed 7.5 stone.

This person's bmi is 14! if this is true then they need to see a GP urgently. I suspect you may have got some of your figures wrong. I am not quite sure why you told us DDs dress size anyway if you aren't worried about her. I agree that doctor in a &e was wrong and glad you are seeing GP

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