Doctor accused dd of telling lies despite evidence to the contrary.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Bit of background. We don't drink and dd 18 was with me the whole day.

About 11.30 this evening it was so hot ds said he fancied a cold fizzy drink. So did I. DD said she was going to have a shower and go to bed.

Ds and I nipped to the local garage to buy a drink leaving dd at home.

We had just driven in to the drive when I had a call from dd. She had slipped getting out of the shower and had woken up on the floor.

Very sore lump on her head , her vision was blurred and a cracking headache.

2 hours in A&E and the diagnosis is she has a hangover. The doctor refused to believe that dd didn't drink and was making up the incidence in the shower because in her mind apparently dd as soon as we left necked bottles of alcohol, no idea where said alcohol came from as there is none in the house and now has a hangover.

Oh and dd grazed her hand when she was out on Saturday. So dd is also bulimic.

So now I am left monitoring dd over night because the NHS doctor would rather make up stuff than do her job

Woah! She is way to tall to be wearing a size 2! My mum is 5ft 1 and is a size 6 , I cant imagine her growing 8 inches and 2 dress sizes smaller.

Eating disorders are very very common and easy to hide op.

My BF's daughter is naturally model girl size; 5'10" and something like a six. She pushed it too far at Uni, lost weight and had the odd fainting episode. Is it possible your DD is doing too much?

My DD was briefly a six at 5'6" and looked child like (aged 22). I was very worried about her.

I have fallen over the shower and had an enormous headache and double vision for about 30 minutes. Rang 111 and told I did not need to go to A&E and that a splitting headache was normal.

OP you are clearly in denial about your DD being underweight. When a Dr meets a parent that is in denial about one thing to do with her DD, it is natural that he is going to treat everything you say about your DD with a pinch of salt.

Oh dear

I’m sorry you feel the DR’s failed you.

In the kindest possible way do you think that the fainting could be down to your DD restricting food?
She is very thin (not slim) a size 2 at 5’9 is very unhealthy.

I know you don’t want to believe it/give it headspace right now and that’s fine we can’t force you to face it but you need to keep in the back of your mind that it does sound highly suspect of some sort of eating disorder.
If she was to have any sort of ED the longer you wait for treatment the more damage it can do both physically and mentally.

I'm 5ft 9. At UK size 6 - when dancing professionally and at the height of my anorexia - I looked like coathanger with skin.

Indeed. I'm 2 inches shorter but at that size when I was getting changed at school for PE, friends were looking at me in shock and telling me I was too skinny. Then my periods went mental. And she's even smaller

Size 2 or 4 at 5'9" is skeletal, I say this as an ex-personal trainer. If someone that thin came to me I would suspect eating disorders and ask for GP clearance before training otherwise I would not be meeting my duty of care. 5'9" is an average model height and even they are an average of size 6 to 8 (and tend to have a BMI of 18 or less with those proportions).

Also I have never had any problems with Doctors, in fact I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for them, especially under the strain and crumbling NHS - you sound utterly paranoid. It's hardly surprising they are worried about someone that thin who has fallen over (also that will be what is behind the suspicion of eating disorders). Might be time to face some serious questions about her health rather than tell yourself it is all the Doctors fault and they get everything wrong all the time?

Missing point massively but why would you go out at nearly midnight to buy a cold fizzy drink ? Tap water is free and quenches thirst far more than a Fanta !

It does sound as though you've had some terrible experiences with doctors!

I do think your DD sounds very slight- dancing requires a lot of muscles, so presumably her weight is low but reasonable?
There was a lot of sun yesterday- perhaps she had a touch of sunstroke, and was ill in the shower?
Poor thing- it's not fun hitting your head, but to be disbelieved my medical staff feels rotten, I know.
Hopefully it was just sun, and she'll be fine. Do keep an eye on her though. Lots of teens go through fainting episodes.
Epilepsy can also kick in around this age, so please do watch her. People often have no recollection of episodes, I don't want to worry you, but unless someone observed it, she may not have a clue. Is there the opportunity to have someone around whenever she's showering, just in case she feels herself going again?

Might be time to face some serious questions about her health rather than tell yourself it is all the Doctors fault and they get everything wrong all the time?

you need to have faith op.

Tap water is free and quenches thirst far more than a Fanta !
I might be missing the point too, but water has never quenched my thirst! Plain water is vile

She sounds skeletal, yet did I really understand right that you say you were 2.5 stone lighter at her age?!!! Unless you are also 2 feet smaller than her, you'd categorically be dead of starvation at that weight.

I had this too when I moved to the UK as a student. I was tee total.

It was only my second month in the UK and I got salmonella. Woke up in the middle of the night throwing up, I was in a terrible state. House mates called the ambulance which would not come out given my symptoms as they were sure I was drunk.

Made me walk to the hospital where two boys had to physically almost take me as i could hardly walk and they all kept interrogating me as I was drunk. Left me on a side bed all night vomiting in a bucket with awful comments as to how they didn't need another drunk student.

Finally after 24 hours I passed out and when I woke up I had a drip and later a doctor visited. I could hear him later getting really angry saying I was very unwell due to the lack of hydration etc...

I will never forget it.

Doctors often treat teenagers very badly, I’ve experience of that myself.

They tend to dismiss everything as drugs, alcohol or ‘attention seeking’.

30% of young people with cancer are diagnosed in A&E. It’s partly that they or their parents don’t recognise the signs. But 25% had already seen their GP, even several times, and been dismissed.

my friends dh was having a stroke and the A & E staff assumed he was drunk She insisted on an ECG.

blame the drunks filling up our A & Es, not the doctors

redpony .. OK Milk then, or squash even ? But surely anything better that popping out at that time for sugary drinks.

OP, are you sure about your daughter’s size? At 5’9” and a size 2-4, she would have to have all her clothes altered, or bought from specialist shops - is this the case? If it is, then she is significantly, massively underweight. If it’s been gradual weight loss and you’re used to seeing her every day, you may not have noticed it, but I’m not surprised the doctor was suspicious.

One of my DDs is 5'9" and really skinny. Always has been. She is a 6-8.
Another DD is 5'6" and had eating disorders as a teen. At her skinniest she was a 4-6 and looked awful. I didn't know a size 2 even existed!

At 18 I assume the docs in A&E talked to your DD. How did she respond?
It's quite a big deal to have an ED suggested to you if you really don't have one.

I've just seen that she's 5'9. Sorry, in that case I'm definitely not surprised they asked questions about an eating disorder. If she's really a size 2, she's far too thin, end of story. Last year I developed an eating disorder. I kept it well hidden; I would eat my meals, then go into the bathroom and puke it up.

You get very good at covering it up. Don't assume that she's telling you everything. My DM thought we told her everything going on in our lives, and that she was just so approachable, but in fact we told her nothing. She had no idea.

From your first post OP I was going t say ignore them about the alcohol, but listen about the eating disorder.

And with every post since that feeling has grown.

Listen, listen, listen about the eating disorder.

Even if all we can convince you to do is stop for one second being so damned sure you know best and maybe just open your mind to the possibility... that is all I would hope to do.

When I was suffering I truly believe the signs were there for everyone to see - they were plastered all over me - dizziness and fainting will have been one of those occasions where I would have been half terrified that someone was going to finally put the pieces together... and half relieved to the point of tears that someone was going to finally put the pieces together.

You do her no favours being so sure; even if there is nothing to worry about. Because if she's a-okay she will understand a mother's concern that she is thin, exercises a lot, but appears to eat "well". But if there is something wrong your determination that she is fine will mean she fights all the harder to reinforce this belief in you so as to not let you down, and will also disguise any genuine opportunities you have to help her.

You may well be right that everything is fine, but do for a second just listen, watch, and be open to the possibility. I think as parents we all should be. People surprise us all the time - even our own children.

Doesn't always mean she has an eating disorder

I am 5ft 9 and a size 0 ( American sizes ) I Eat ... quite normally ! May skip the odd breakfast of running late but apart from that eat a pretty well valid diet.
I'm secondary school my teachers always questioned me.
I am also completely healthy in the way that I don't think I have even been to the GP in 2 years.
Last night we had a take away as a treat and I are quarter pounder with chips , chicken nuggets and garlic bread.

OP how is she this morning? Did they do any scans at the hospital? It's the blacking out and bump on head that worries me.

Could be sunstroke but then again, head injury itself should be checked.

DD is 32" 23" 34, in my day and age that would have been a size 10. But because of vanity sizing she finds she fits size 4 sometimes a size 2. Some of her clothes come from the US because you can get smaller sizes off the peg. Her df works over there about 4-5 times per year bso she looks on line and orders so df can pick up in store.
She didn't faint she slipped. I had used the shower earlier and also nearly came a cropper. It is not the first time that one of us has had to grab hold of something to steady ourselves

OP, do you mean size 12-14, not 2-4? Size 2-4 would be v v thin!

I wonder if it was the Dr or the daughter who told the OP that the verdict was she had been drinking.