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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it stingy to host a bbq and not provide alcohol?

257 replies

Tobythecat · 07/05/2018 13:05

I will provide all the food and side dishes etc and soft drinks, but aibu to not provide alcohol? I don't drink and one of my friends is a heavy drinker and will probably guzzle the lot, plus booze is so expensive as some only drink wine.

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 07/05/2018 13:21

YANBU

It’s worth letting people know when you invite them that you’ll provide food and soft drinks, if they want booze they’re welcome to bring it themselves

RavenLG · 07/05/2018 13:22

If you were being stingy you wouldn’t be providing food for people either. As long as your state byobooze then people will be fine about it :)

SubtitlesOn · 07/05/2018 13:23

YANBU

everybody should bring their own drinks to BBQ

MinaPaws · 07/05/2018 13:23

YANBU. Just make some welcome drinks (elderflower with sparkling water and ice or raspberry and apple with mint and sparkling water) and ask them to bring a bottle.

Desmondo2016 · 07/05/2018 13:23

Absokutely yanbu. I host a bbq every summer and it's always been that I supply the general spread of food, soft drinks and some bbq meat but everyone brings masses of different meat plus whatever alcohol they fancy drinking. I do have some in too but generally I definitely make it clear that it's not a fully funded piss up lol! Never had a single issue.

sprinklesandsauce · 07/05/2018 13:27

YANBU. It is what our group of friends usually do. One will chuck on the BBQ and everyone brings something to eat and something to drink.

Not being stingy at all. People usually bring their own mixers as well. I always provide basic lemonade/coke/soda. If anyone wants anything else then they bring it.

Chewbecca · 07/05/2018 13:31

I think it is quite normal to bring alcohol to a BBQ, I would often also bring a dish too, some meat for the BBQ, a side dish or a pud.

TomRavenscroft · 07/05/2018 13:31

YANBU. I don't drink, but DP does. He'll get a few beers and drink some of them and if there are any left for friends, fine. But people always get told to bring a bottle.

RexManning · 07/05/2018 13:36

Absolutely fine IMO. Good idea to provide soft drinks, and put out MASSES of water and keep it topped up. People will drink more than usual in hot weather.

wibblywobblywoo · 07/05/2018 13:41

XiCi Of course there won't be 'nothing to drink' the OP has clearly said she is supplying the food and soft drinks - it's not compulsory to have alcohol....... and if there are folk that can't contemplate any sort of social function without it they can just BTOB.

Aragog · 07/05/2018 13:42

Guess it depends on who the guests are.

To me a bbq is normally a fairly informal affair amongst closer family and friends, so we would always take alcohol with us. Likewise they always bring it to ours too. If Wr didn't drink alcohol then I guess my friends would know that anyway and know to bring their own, and I'd feel comfortable to tell them to bring their own and I'll have some soft drink options for them here too.

If it's a proper party or unfamiliar guests then I'd provide a smallish amount amounting to a couple of drinks each, but I'd also say to byo when I invited them.

DesignedForLife · 07/05/2018 13:42

YANBU. I'd always take a bottle to a BBQ.

Agustarella · 07/05/2018 13:42

Not stingy at all as long as there is plenty of food and soft drinks. I like the idea of punch.

MrsWombat · 07/05/2018 13:43

That's absolutely fine. Personally I would have a couple of bottles of wine and some beer chilling in the fridge so there's something cold for welcome drinks. Or some pimms. But fine not to do this too! Just make it clear on the invite.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2018 13:44

As long as you state it's BYOB, it's fine.

Iloveacurry · 07/05/2018 13:44

I would supply a couple bottles of wine, and perhaps some beer. Ask others to bring a bottle, or whatever they fancy.

Smeddum · 07/05/2018 13:46

We don’t when we’re having BBQs but then we don’t drink, and neither do most of our friends and they’re usually held when the kids are running about so getting pissed isn’t really on anyway.

If your friends want to drink then they can bring some can’t they? Surely it’s good manners.

Baylis · 07/05/2018 13:47

It's fine - I would just make sure everyone knows to bring their own alcohol beforehand.

BewareOfDragons · 07/05/2018 13:47

Just make sure everyone knows its BYOB, and have a couple bottles of beer or wine handy. Alcohol IS expensive, and an 'extra'; surely friends wouldn't want to take advantage at your actual expense.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 07/05/2018 13:48

Fine, just tell people I'm doing all food but bring a bottle. Your guests will probably ask if they should bring anything anyway, if they're like our friends and family.

OneStepSideways · 07/05/2018 13:48

Yes! It's very tight. You can ask people to bring a bottle but should have some bottles of chilled beer and wine to offer when people arrive.

KaliforniaDreamz · 07/05/2018 13:51

If you can afford it supply it.

bridgetosomewhere · 07/05/2018 13:51

We had a bbq yesterday and I didn’t think about it really. Everyone has to drive anyway.
The wife brought a bottle of prosecco and drank that and also some beer for her husband who had one.

I provided the food. If i was going to a bbq I would take my own wine if I wanted it

corcaithecat · 07/05/2018 13:53

We don't drink but provide a small amount of alcoholic drinks together with lots of non alcoholic drinks and plenty of food. Most of our friends don't drink much and will happily drink the non alcoholic stuff. TBH, if anyone is a serious drinker, they're unlikely to be our friends as I hate that 'get pissed at every oppportunity' mentality and I'd swerve those types.

MismatchedPJs · 07/05/2018 13:53

I'd get a little bit in - a couple of bottles of wine and a few beers. BYOB is absolutely fine but it is nice to be able to offer a glass of wine as they arrive.