Is it stingy to host a bbq and not provide alcohol?

[Tobythecat]

I will provide all the food and side dishes etc and soft drinks, but aibu to not provide alcohol? I don't drink and one of my friends is a heavy drinker and will probably guzzle the lot, plus booze is so expensive as some only drink wine.

I'd make sure to have a few beers and bottles of wine, but not more than a couple of beers and/or glasses of wine per person.
The last thing I'd want would be drunk people in a barbecue. But I'd expect most people to take something with them.

In my social circle that would be absolutely fine, in fact even if I provided everything my friends would bring more.

In my circles we generally bring our own booze and a bit of meat or salad for the barbie.
BBQs are more of a get together than a party for us though and can happen spontaneously.

It's a bit stingy to not offer anything in my opinion, but equally I don't see why host should be expected to fund someone else's excessive drinking.

Hosts shoud offer soft drinks and some beer/wine.
Guests should not be a dickhead and guzzle everything in sight. Drinks are for all, not for one person to consume a bottle of wine whilst everyone else is finishing their first glass.
Guests should bring a bottle or 2 of something for the table

If I had a friend who turned up to parties/events, necked more than their share of the alcohol and expected everyone else to fund their alcohol consumption then I'd stop inviting them because they're rude and inconsiderate.

My friend said bring your own meat too
Fucking prick

I think it's quite normal to be asked to bring something to drink - beer, wine or soft drinks to a barbecue and wouldn't be at all put out by this. Most people do it anyway, IME.
Re food -- if it's a small gathering it's not that usual to bring meat, although I'd say it's probably OK for the hosts to ask, depending on circs. For larger parties it's fine to ask guests to bring some meat, or a dessert/salad/side. It's also fine the host to ask Cousin X if they could bring their special salad and/or friend Y for their spectacular dessert.

For meat it's generally sausages, burgers, ribs or chicken pieces, often with a favourite marinade already on. Very handy. (but nothing too expensive unless you're feeling particularly generous. And steak could end up being massacred on the BBQ!)
OP if you've got the wherewithal how about making a big bowl of summer fruit cup, with a bottle (or two) of wine, the same amount of lemonade, also add fizzy water, slices of lemon, orange, strawberries, cucumber, loads of ice and sprigs of mint. It looks lovely, is very refreshing and gets the party started. Or make two - one without alcohol and one with. Even the alcoholic one won't be very strong.

Yes, it is stingy and bad manners.

You don't have to go mad - guests will bring a bottle.

It also depends on the reason for the barbecue.

Is it for your birthday or something like that? Or is it a friend's gathering?

If a birthday, then provide drink. If it's a gathering that happens to be at your place, then I think it's fair to ask people to take items of food and drink.

Totally fine. Especially given that you don't drink. Just be upfront about it.

Though if you do feel guilty about it, then just pick up a bottle of vodka and a few beers.

But honestly, I wouldn't have an issue with bringing my own alcohol. It's not really an event where I'd expect somebody else to fund my (alcoholic) drinks.

As we bbq constantly in the summer, I couldn't afford to! We always bring food and a drink

We always do bring your own in our group of friends. And then take home what you haven't finished. It's the fair one when one couple maybe hosts more than another

I think it would be fine even if Op did drink.

She's providing the venue, food, means to cook the food, non alcoholic drinks-more than enough!

We always do BYOB for bbqs. Will often pick up some food as well to add to the communal pile. The circles I move in are all on budgets and its nice to get together but we can't afford to cater for 15-20 people.
I wouldn't be at all offended at being asked to bring anything.

I'd have some drinks on hand for when guests arrive. Couple of bottles of wine and some beer. Most people won't show up empty handed anyway. I'd rather not entertain than ask my guests to bring a load of food and drink with them.

Went to my brother and sil for a barbecue one day. Once we'd eaten our full of frozen Tesco burgers and sausages he appeared from the kitchen with steak and prawn skewers for them. I laugh about it now but at the time I thought you tight git! We had brought beer, wine, soft drinks, dessert and flowers with us.

Yeah you should definitely provide alcohol or if not then make sure your guests know beforehand so they can bring their own.

@katedotness
Wow your brother is rude. I hope you don't bother going there anymore.

I can’t relate to lots of this either. We are pretty big boozers, as are our friends, but I would never take my own booze and drink it and neither would I host a BBQ without providing everything. People will often bring a gift- but that’s not their drink. A bottle of wine from a family is a thank you for hosting gift, they’re not going to sit there sharing it. People don’t know how much they might want to drink- I would expect an element of free flowing booze. Otherwise people will be leaving to run off to the shops all day.

I'm still surprised by people who feel it is not an "occasion" without alcohol. the host is providing drinks...just not poisonous ones!
Would people genuinely be put out if there was no alcohol?

No alcohol plus small children equals shit party

Yes I would fuzzy. I would expect it as standard.

I'm surprised that you're surprised fuzzy
I think the vast majority of people would expect to be offered an alcoholic drink at a bbq or similar social occasion

I don’t drink a lot so don’t routinely expect or want alcohol.soft drink would be fine

Ah well...as I don't eat meat and don't drink, a BBQ is my idea of a bad time!

Have you been to many? I’m always confused why people who don’t participate in something express surprise at it operating in a perfectly normal way....

I'd expect to take drinks to a barbecue. Pisses me off having to provide your own meat though