Is it stingy to host a bbq and not provide alcohol?

[Tobythecat]

I will provide all the food and side dishes etc and soft drinks, but aibu to not provide alcohol? I don't drink and one of my friends is a heavy drinker and will probably guzzle the lot, plus booze is so expensive as some only drink wine.

'she’s laughing at people acting like there is a NEED for alcohol at a BBQ. As if a BBQ isn’t a real BBQ unless there is alcohol. It’s hilarious - so many people think booze if essential!'

No, they don't. Maybe they just enjoy a beer or glass of wine with a BBQ. And what's it to you if they do, why sneer at them? Except to be smug and virtue signal and be condescending.

It's reasonable to tell guests what you want them to bring. The virtue signalling twats pontificating about how awful it is that other people want to drink alcohol at a party probably wouldn't be thrilled to turn up at an event where there was insufficient food and nothing to drink but tap water, because the host had expected guests to contribute but hadn't made this clear.

Everyone we know would bring a bottle or few beers if they drink to a BBQ. In fact be rude to turn up empty handed n expect alcohol to b laid on as well as food! Especially in your case if they know you don't drink.

It’s hilarious - so many people think booze if essential!

Hilarious, you say...

We always have few bottles of wine and lagers in but always tell friends to bring own booze! And vice versa when go to bbq's we always take some!

I think it's sad rather than hilarious.

I don't think it's I, it's what we're doing on Friday for DH's bday. We're providing all food and salads and have asked people to bring their drinks (soft and alcoholic).

@expatinscotlanf would you like a ladder to help you down off your high horse?
If they want alcohol then that’s fine - they can bring it with them. But it’s still a BBQ without alcohol! It certainly isn’t an essential part 😂

What's sad is a dry ol' BBQ 🥂

I wouldn’t sneer at someone who thought it was necessary, but I would feel that since they thought it necessary they should provide it.

A good host will provide for what their guests might enjoy.

You can't really be telling anyone off about high horses sarah...

Hmm
When it's a case of being your own or we can't afford to do it people do bring their own, though

I’m Australian, nearly all bbq’s are BYOG (bring your own grog) where I am.

Last bbq I went to everyone took their own drinks and a salad, host provided nibbles, meat (sausages, steak and chicken skewers) and dessert.

Also been to plenty where host provides salads, bread and soft drink, guests all bring their preferred meat and drinks.

It’s a bbq, not a dinner party.

Ah, so we are sad for being "dry"?

Can you not see who is sad here? It certainly isn't me

It's also worth noting that there is not that much difference in the cost of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. Well, unless you want to stick to value squash and own-brand cola: lots of the fancy cordials and interesting fruit juice blends can actually be more expensive than a four-pack of standard lager or bitter, especially as people tend to drink more soft drinks when outside in the sunshine - they won't ration themselves to 'just the one'.

I'll swap you a high horse for a virtue-signalling bus, Sarah . So some people like a beer or glass of wine with a BBQ, it's hardly the same as being a litre-a-day voddy drinker .

And I see nothing wrong with a BYOB BBQ. It's the norm in a lot of places where BBQs are common.

I don't drink but usually buy a couple of cases of lager and always have a few bottles of spirits in. DH drinks only occasionally at home. Guests usually bring something but one family last year brought nothing and the husband, who I barely know, got leathered on a bottle of my very expensive scotch!

Its ok saying even if you don't drink you need to supply a few bottles of lager or wine.

I have done years ago and found I had bought the wrong sort of lager or beer or the wrong sort of red wine.

Don't bother now.

That’s why I prefer BYO because what if I arrive and don’t like the drink anyway? Or it’s one bottle round 8 people? So I don’t expect and take my own!

@expatinscotland I’ve never said I have an issue with alcohol - so........
Just said it isn’t tight and the fact you’re telling people they need alcohol for a BBQ is just pathetic.
I don’t drink - some friends do, some friends don’t. Sometimes there’s alcohol but sometimes there isn’t and we have a a bloody brilliant time with or without alcohol.
@cuntess maybe because you are what your name entails you need alcohol - but the lots of us have a brilliant time with or without alcohol.

I'm sure you do Sarah - well done

Most such events are BYOB IME. I personally would normally provide a couple of bottles of wine, with also some soft drinks. But I always take a bottle when invited somewhere.

Whenever we go to a BBQ we bring our own alcohol even if we’re not asked to. I’d feel awkward turning up with nothing and then guzzling their alcohol. Likewise if we’re hosting we’ll have a bit of alcohol but will expect people to bring drinks themselves as we won’t have a large variety to choose from. Neither of us drink wine for instance so I won’t get any in as I’d have no idea what type to buy.