did your parents smack you? Do you smack your child?

[diamond702]

My dad used to smack me as a child, on the hand or bottom. I remember feeling scared and anxious about it, and I don't think it taught me right from wrong. I would usually get smacked for being annoying or loud rather than naughty things. He would do it to make me be quiet.

I think times have changed now (this was in the 90s) and maybe it's not as acceptable to smack children anymore. I don't believe it works. I can understand perhaps smacking a child's hand to stop them touching a hot oven or something, but otherwise, does it really make them grow up to be well behaved citizens?

I can't imagine smacking my child. Surely there are better ways to discipline?

No
No

Dd is now 16y so it's not going to happen. I just feel there are better and more effective forms of reprimands. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of intentionally hurting my child.

No (70s/80s), and no.

All the people who say "it never did me any harm!" seem to be people who think it's ok to hit kids...

I was smacked and I grew up in fear because of it. It is wrong, it is assault, and it teaches a child nothing useful. I wouldn't smack my DCs in a million years.

I remember one time my sister and I went out to play and my parents didn't know exactly where we were - this was the late 80s and not unusual, we had done it a thousand times before. When we got home this time we were smacked and beaten and sent to bed without food. My father was an abuser and my mother didn't stand up to him.

I didn't have a good childhood at all and I wouldn't ever want to repeat that for my own DCs.

Very occasionally by my Mum when I was little, a few times by my Dad when I was older. My Mums I could (sort of understand) my Dads motives were out of his own frustration and anger at me refusing to be sufficiently obedient. Did not have the desired effect!
I've never struck my own child, nor has it ever felt necessary.

Yes, and I think its interesting that I didn't get smacked again after the time I told my mother that the next time she hit me, I would hit her back harder.

There have been times my DD has sorely tried my patience but no, I have never smacked. As above, once they are too old to be intimidated by the threat of physical violence, where can you go?

It certainly didn't work with me! I remember quite clearly. My parents only smacked me rarely, when I had been very naughty, and not very hard. Then they sent me to my room to think about what I had done.

There, I worked myself up into a frenzy of indignation, nursing my anger and plotting revenge. I had no interest whatsoever in thinking about what I had done and whether I might have deserved punishment. I can still feel the outrage now.

They stopped using this punishment on me when I was about six, presumably because they could see it didn't work.

Yes I was smacked. Fairly often.

No I don't smack mine.

I was never smacked and I will never smack my DD. Absolutely no reason to be violent towards a child.

Yes. I was disciplined as such. I was also studying to be a nun so punishment was a little bit more than a smack.

I don’t smack my children.

Yes, I was smacked. Hard. Round the head, back of the legs and never for anything major. What I would probably term as typical childish behaviour.

Do I resent my dad for doing it? Yes. Very much so. Especially as my youngest sister (their biological child - I was adopted) was never hit.

I remember my dad hitting me in the head once when I was 16. And I didn't run, I stood my ground and dared him to hit me again. He said 'You aren't worth it' and walked away. I left home the following year and never went back.

I don't hit my kids. My oldest is now an adult at uni and my youngest has ASD and displays some incredibly challenging behaviour at times. I absolutely don't resort to walloping her round the head for it.

Yes and no

Occasionally, yes.

No, never. Not a chance.

Yes my dad smacked my legs about three times from memory as a teen as I legged it up the stairs (and I so deserved it).

Never remember getting smacked as smaller child. I have smacked mine but it's pretty pointless imo and just makes everyone feel crap.

hmm im interested if anyone will honestly admit to smacking their kids

I was smacked and I still resent my parents for it. They did it when they lost control and I think it's abuse
I will never smack my children

when i was younger (70's) we would get a smack on the legs if we were naughty. One teacher had 2 rulers called pinky and perky, you got to choose which one to get a smack with. I also got the cane aged 12 for skiving school. None of that bothered me.

As a teenager I was slapped across the face by a bitch foster mother a few times.

Going through the care system I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused at one time or another. By far the worst and most damaging to me was the emotional abuse (from same bitch foster mother)

I don't have children, but if i did I doubt I would smack them, I'd just perfect "the look"

I was smacked..it was fine...no harm done.

I don't smack dd but i wonder if she'd be less spoilt if i did.Prob not.

I believe anyone who feels it’s appropriate to correct a child’s behaviour with smacking should also accept their behaviour being corrected in the same way eg smack child for late homework and accept boss can right hook you for late project. Anything else would be hypocritical.

FYI I agree with all the peer reviewed evidence that corporal punishment is really not a useful way to train anyone or thing.

Smacked once and once only as a child, I'll never forget it as it was severe. I have never smacked my son. The only time I've been forceful with him was to get him out of the road when a car was coming at speed and I had to grab him quickly. It shook him up but it was necessary. I don't think smacking teaches anything but violence. I don't think shouting at children achieves anything either. My son knows if I shout I'm really really cross and he's in trouble!

Yes and all it taught me was to be afraid of adults who are meant to protect you.

I'd never smack my children not would DH. In my eyes it's assault and very wrong. If an adult smacks another they can get arrested yet somehow people think it's ok to do to defenceless children.

I was literally beaten black and blue every day. Would never smack my children, don't even shout at them. If I'm short with them and speak sharply I always apologise. The emotional damage of any kind of abuse runs deep, I never want to do that to my children.

Yes, 60s born. Left my ears ringing. DM smacked when she lost her temper and lashed out, so it wasn't a little tap of crossness, it was a raging adult of 13 stone lashing out with heavy objects at a 3-stone small girl.

DM woke me up to beat me with a hairbrush once (no idea what I'd done, I was a very good child - remember the beating. Even then I wasn't impressed).

Yes yes and yes. Me step
children and g children

Born in the late 50s and I was smacked as a young child, in fact DM used to sometimes say wait until your father gets home to smack you. I think it was quite common though then, children at primary school used to get smacked and I’m sure some were sent to the headmaster for a smack. I had my hand smacked at school, boys seemed to get harsher treatment than girls though

I never smacked DS.

Yes, absolutely not.

I can remember being smacked a few times by my mother and thinking back she'd clearly lost it. When I see people smacking their children in shops etc they've always completely lost their cool and it's obviously done in anger.

It's assault. I hate the way it's deemed acceptable (by some) to physically assault some half your size who is basically defenceless. Plus it teaches children that hitting is ok if someone is doing something you don't like. Awful all round.