did your parents smack you? Do you smack your child?

[diamond702]

My dad used to smack me as a child, on the hand or bottom. I remember feeling scared and anxious about it, and I don't think it taught me right from wrong. I would usually get smacked for being annoying or loud rather than naughty things. He would do it to make me be quiet.

I think times have changed now (this was in the 90s) and maybe it's not as acceptable to smack children anymore. I don't believe it works. I can understand perhaps smacking a child's hand to stop them touching a hot oven or something, but otherwise, does it really make them grow up to be well behaved citizens?

I can't imagine smacking my child. Surely there are better ways to discipline?

Yes and no.

My son is going through a hitting phase at the moment. Just this morning I said to him, "Do I hit you? Your sibling? Your dad? Do you see me hitting anybody when I get angry?"
"No, mummy."
"Then it isn't acceptable for you to hit me, is it?"

I am his role model. I have never needed to hit to solve problems or to discipline. Even in situations where my children might be in danger.

Yes mum used to smack me and I hated her for it. I have never smacked my boys. One of the main reasons I left my ex husband was because he thought it was ok to smack the kids.

Smacking only works before kids go verbal and even then only works if you only do it for very, very serious things. Giving a smack for everything makes it loses it’s impact.

Born in the 60s also,never smacked by parents, never smacked as a parent.

Yes
No

Yes I was smacked (mostly by my mum, only remember my dad smacking me once when I'd been REALLY naughty)

And I'm going to buck the trend here and say yes I have smacked my son, a short sharp smack on the hand or leg is so much better for him than doing something potentially dangerous.

I was smacked.

I would never, ever physically assault my children.

Yes.
No.

Yes. Occasionally, by my mother.

No, I would never, ever raise a hand to a vulnerable human being. It is abhorrent.

Yes, I was. Very rarely. And no, I never have smacked my children and I never will. I turned out OK and my DDs (now 15 and 17) are turning out just a OK as I did. So yes, you can raise good citizens without hitting.

My Dmum has said to me that she wishes she had been as patient and calm as I have been with my DDs and that she hadn't smacked us. It's wrong.

No, and No.

Yes they did, and no I didn't. I was frightened of my parents when they lost control of their temper and smacked me. They did it until I was a young adult when finally I had the sense to warn them to get a grip of themselves.

My mother refuses to accept that it was cruel and unnecessary, and she is baffled by my children having grown up to be decent people in spite of never being hit - how could that happen?

My dad feels wretched about it and has apologised several times. It's a hard thing to listen to.

I was smacked regularly (in the 1980s). It was never just one smack, my mum used to completely lose it - her meltdowns were terrifying.

But her mother used to hit her with the buckle end of a belt, her father used to have to lock her mother up to prevent her killing the children when she completely lost it.... my mum did pretty well given that upbringing (and loved us very much, she just had a terrible temper). She’s a doting grandmother now, I really can’t imagine her raising a hand to DS.

I din’t and would never hit DS. I can imagine I might yell at him if I lost my temper with him when he was older (my temper is not as explosive as my Mum or grandmother, but I am not perfect).

Yes I was and no I don’t. It’s not ok to hit anyone else so why would it be ok to hit a child.

My DM saw a programme on people with dementia in care homes and there was a hidden recording of one woman who was resisting her cares attempts to put her to bed and she was slapped by one of the Carter’s (I think she might have hit out at them first). DM was enraged that this could happen to a vulnerable old person ( reasonably enough) but couldn’t see my point that she thought it was ok to slap children who are equally vulnerable.

Not this again

I was smacked once as a child, I've never forgotten it. Df could never remember why he smacked me that day but I do and admittedly it was pretty awful what I did but not sure smacking was right. I have never smacked my children.

Yes I was smacked. No I've never smacked my own children.

My parents used to hit me. My mum beat my brother with a slipper. I can remember my dad beating me so hard with his hand that it hurt for days.

I would never ever hit my kids. It’s wrong.

I was born in the 60s, I got slapped a few times as a child, it was normal at the time and I have no resentment or hang ups about it. It is no longer the norm, and no I don't slap my own kids.

I got the odd smack when I was young. It's not anything I feel resentful about. I wasn't smacked hard and it happened very rarely. It was always a shock and wake up call that I'd really been naughty and pushed my luck. I haven't ever smacked my lo and I don't think I would. I think most smacking is done when a parent loses control a bit and although my lo has pushed my buttons, I've never been close to losing control and smacking him.

I was smacked occasionally. I remember my mother being so angry. Out of control. I don't know if it contributed but I'm an anxious adult. Afraid of confrontation to the point where I don't stand up for myself properly. Worried about breaking rules. It certainly did me no good.

I was smacked growing up in the late 70s/80s. My mum thought it was the best punishment as it was over and done with quickly. Later she said she regretted it and thinks other forms of discipline are better. I never smacked my dd and I'm pretty laid back not strict at all.

Yes. I was even sent to fetch the implement of punishment; "go get my belt/slipper/wooden spoon". It hurt me in ways that echo even now in my mid 40's.

And once. I slapped my eldest (then 20) in the face for his foul and vile language when he was completely out of control. He even says now it was the thing that snapped him out of it. The absolute shock because Ive never so much as threatened any of them with a smack, let alone done it.

Yes they did, no I don’t.