did your parents smack you? Do you smack your child?

[diamond702]

My dad used to smack me as a child, on the hand or bottom. I remember feeling scared and anxious about it, and I don't think it taught me right from wrong. I would usually get smacked for being annoying or loud rather than naughty things. He would do it to make me be quiet.

I think times have changed now (this was in the 90s) and maybe it's not as acceptable to smack children anymore. I don't believe it works. I can understand perhaps smacking a child's hand to stop them touching a hot oven or something, but otherwise, does it really make them grow up to be well behaved citizens?

I can't imagine smacking my child. Surely there are better ways to discipline?

I used to get slapped across the back of the legs when I was naughty. I don't smack my kids. I was always hit during anger which I never want to do with my kids. I am sometimes shouty but never violent. I don't think it achieves anything.

I remember being smacked twice. It never caused me trauma however I have chosen to not ever use physical force against our DC. I would hate them to fear me or be hurt by me. They are disciplined and we believe, as parents, it is our role to guide them to be good, decent, kind humans which sometimes means we are public enemy number 1. But, hitting is violence. Violence is illegal. End of.

My parents used to whip me with a balloon cane. I lived in fear of it. It stopped when I got older and I didn't think of it for years, but having my first baby had brought up a lot of emotions and soured the relationship with my parents. I would never do it to my child because I would never want them to fear or hate me as much as I hate my parents.

Yes. Slapped, punched, scratched, hair pulled. Told to stand in the shower so that when the snack came it would sting more.

No, I don't smack my DC.

No, I was never smacked (born in the 70s). I was awful as a teen and I do wonder how my parents held it together and never lost their rag

I’ve never smacked my children.

DD1 has made me see red sometimes but I’ve always walked away

I presented my hand for 'the ruler' once when aged 4 at school. Mrs Sidebottom took it and sank her teeth in.

DM, despite enjoying a good clout herself (see above), showed all her mummy friends the bite marks and turned out my best friend had been bitten by the same teacher.

True fact, as the youth put it. London, 1971. Admittedly Mrs S didn't last beyond the end of the year. Me and fellow bitee are still best friends 45 years on, however.

Yeah, I got belted by both of them. And threatened with a knife by one of them when I stepped between them & my younger sister.

I will never ever smack dd.

I've just remembered that my sister got smacked once in a children's home because she slept through the fire alarm! One of the nuns literally smacked her awake and shouted at her for not waking up when the alarm went off.

Yes I was
No I don’t

I was smacked and beaten as a child for minor things like accidentaly breaking a cup or glass or sneaking a spoon of peanut butter (wich was my older brother not me)
I don’t believe in hitting or smacking children as it’s brutal and continues the cycle of violence...

Sorry I meant to say, my smacking didn't cause me trauma as it happened twice, I didn't live in fear of it and I had a loving upbringing. I didn't mean to offend or minimise in any way those of you who have had a very different experience. I'm so sorry for each of you who lived in fear of those who were meant to protect you.

80’s kid. Yep I was smacked. I was miss behaving and deserved it.

Yes I smacked my kids when they were younger.

I was hit a lot as a child, my mother would lose her temper over the smallest thing like if you didn't ageee with her opinion. She would slap me, hit me and drag me by my hair. I hated her for it, I didn't even realise that it wasn't something that happened to everyone until my teens.

As I got older her hitting me stopped hurting and I just pretended it did so she would stop. My dad occasionally hit me with his slipper but he was often away for work when I was growing up so I didn't see him much. I have younger siblings who were treated the same though I would try get in front of them if I could so they would be ok. All it did for me was give me a high tolerance for pain. I dont have children but if I did I would never hit them, I would hate for anyone to feel the way I did. It is the main reason I am not close to my parents at all.

I had a friend who was beaten by her mother on the top of her bare legs with a wooden scholl clog. I saw it happen once, my friend was screaming in fear before the shoe even appeared and then in pain. Horrible.

What's generally meant by spanking is a slap on the legs or bottom just hard enough to hurt, but not to actually mark or injure. I don't agree with it and I think it's a mistake but it's in a different league to some of the stories on here. Some of these are horrifying and would certainly be considered abuse.

I was smacked. Did it do me any harm? Yes it did.

Likewise, growing up in the 1970s. My mum never smacked us but my dad did, often, when we were little. I think what stopped him was the time my brother ended up running away, red-faced and crying, whilst my dad tried to corner him. My dad was trying to hit him and my brother ended up screaming "you don't love us". My dad said "I do, that's why I hit you". I think he realised how that sounded.

I remember there was never any logic to it. It was just my dad lashing out in temper. It always felt incredibly unjust. As an adult I have problems with my self esteem and I'm often very, very angry, I think because of that sense of powerlessness. Whilst this is the result of other things as well, my dad hitting me and my brother did not help at all. In fact I think it made me more of a target for bullies at school, and less able to cope with them.

I don't have children but if I did, I would be trying my utmost never to hit them.

Parents smacked my brothers. It happened a lot. They were hit with the belt, slipper, wooden wash pole....I was terrified of them. My brothers didn’t seem to care, which seemed to make my parents even angrier. It was awful growing up with such anger and rage. One brother has distanced himself, the other is an addict of anything he can get his hands on. I suffer with severe depression.
It was awful. How can anyone justify hitting a child?

I used to have hand shaped bruises on my legs and bum and back and arms, left by my dad, and nasty slap marks from my mum! I would never hit a child aside from the sharp tap on the hand in the path of danger

I will never understand why anyone would think it ok to physically harm another person let alone a smaller person; their child who they claim to love and want to protect from harm.

I was regularly slapped hard, for any misdemeanour, and my DM believed in no warnings, so I rarely k we I had done something deemed wrong until after the surprise slap (things like being too slow to come when asked, or not hearing a question, so not answering...).
I became extremely jumpy as a result and though I'm generally happy and confident now, I physically jump at sudden movements and noises, and flinch if touched when I'm not expecting it.
And no, I never hit my DCs.

I don't remember ever being smacked and I've never smacked mine. I've had flashes of anger and frustration and really felt like giving DD a smack on the bum a couple of times but never have and recognise that it would have been me losing control and reacting with anger rather than disciplining in any meaningful way.

I was smacked, more than smacked I used to get a good hiding.

I have smacked my children on the odd occasion ( I have 7 and I could count it on both hands ) I felt bad about it afterwards but I like a previous poster I do think there's something instinctive like when animals swipe their young when they're playing up.

Tbh I've smacked a few adults too and I think sometimes words just don't work with some people

Can I ask the people who said they were harmed by getting a smack - how so?

Understandable if you were getting beaten but a smack....? I was definitely smacked as a child and it hasn’t blighted my adulthood. It’s an honest question and i struggle to understand the life long ramifications of a smack

We were. We got 3 warnings first, then the wooden spoon.
I’m ok with it though, it’s not done me any harm and it was very effective.

I haven’t done the same with my kids, they’ve never actually been naughty enough to be punished beyond a quick time out.

Yes. And with implements too (slippers, wooden spoons etc)

I will never lay a finger on my children unless I have to restrain them for their own safety (eg. stop them running into a road or touching a fire etc). I’d never hit them under any circumstances.