did your parents smack you? Do you smack your child?

[diamond702]

My dad used to smack me as a child, on the hand or bottom. I remember feeling scared and anxious about it, and I don't think it taught me right from wrong. I would usually get smacked for being annoying or loud rather than naughty things. He would do it to make me be quiet.

I think times have changed now (this was in the 90s) and maybe it's not as acceptable to smack children anymore. I don't believe it works. I can understand perhaps smacking a child's hand to stop them touching a hot oven or something, but otherwise, does it really make them grow up to be well behaved citizens?

I can't imagine smacking my child. Surely there are better ways to discipline?

Oh yes- by both parents. My dad's hurt more... He threw me across the room once. But I remember my mother's more as she'd say hurtful things as well. She would smack me around the back of the head and tell me I was stupid - sometimes not even for being naughty but just being a kid (think singing a silly song etc) that has stuck with me all my life and I am considering getting counselling for the way it has affected me.

My ds is only 6mo so obviously I wouldn't smack him but I never will either. I think there are better ways of communicating with small children.

Yes occasionally and no, absolutely not.

Yes by both parents - a lot and with a hairbrush or slipper too - always because they had lost it and not for a good reason. I dislike them and am LC now - the one good thing to come out of it was that I was so desperate to leave home and go to university I worked really really hard at school. For the rest, I have a legacy of MH following the birth of my children as I couldn't contemplate treating them the way my parents treated me, like a pp I flinch when something comes to close to my face, I despise my parents and I suffer from social phobia from having been afraid for most of my childhood.

So no, I'll never smack my children and believe me they can be very stroppy teens.....

I hate it. I hate the language of it. I remember my sister talking to her children with phrases like "do that again and I'll give you one". It's hideous.

I was smacked but I would never smack a child. I don't understand how anyone can think it's OK to hit a child. It shows that they don't know how to control themselves and communicates to the child that it's OK to hit in certain situations. There are better ways of dealing with unwanted behaviour and I personally consider it abuse.

Yes they did, no I never would.

I was smacked really, really often as a child and hit with wooden spoons, slippers and other household implements too. I absolutely hated it. I behaved out of fear, not because I understood what was right or wrong or even cared. All I cared about was not being hit.

I have never hit either of my DC (who are nearly grown up now) and it is one of the very few parenting things I feel very strongly about. There is NEVER any need to hit a child in my opinion. I cannot think of a justifiable excuse for it - ever.

Yes, I was smacked as a child. I have no grudge against my parents. They weren't abusive; the only smacked me when I didn't listen to verbal warnings or when I'd been cheeky and definitely earned it!

I don't have children, but hypothetically, I see no issue with occasional smacks for extreme behaviour. I don't believe in this whole 'come down to their level' thing. Kids are kids, not mini adults.

I was never ever smacked, despite being raised in the 80s by grandparents born in the 30s. Looking back the absence of smacking was really unusual in our area (dog rough council estate). My grandparents weren't particularly right on - I think they just actually liked children. I'm very grateful and would never dream of raising my hand to my kids, although the youngest is feisty as anything and I've occasionally had to just pick him up to do things.

You don't believe in communicating in children in a way they understand wrenika? That's very sad.

That said my thoughts on smacking changed before and after children. I didn't see any problem with it in theory before DC. Having them changed my outlook. I think parenting is one of those things it's impossible to really imagine in advance and once you have to do it it changes everything.

My mother smacked me frequently, she'd call it a good hiding. Remember being dragged across the floor by my hair and being beaten by a wooden spoon when I was 16. So I suppose it did do me good because I vowed never to treat my own children in the same way. I lived in fear of her. This was in the 1950s.