Cheapskate friend AIBU?

[ukulelelady]

It was my daughters birthday recently and she wanted a party. Her friend turned up with a free toy from a magazine as a present.

The card was a crumpled folded over bit of scrap paper that was drawn on. (It was a scribble that I couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. The girl is 6)

I know it’s the thought that counts. When my daughter makes cards for her friends I say it’s to be neat and you’ve to make it your best job because a birthday is special. I wouldn’t allow her to pass off a scribble that would take her 5 minutes. I know all kids abilities are different but I know her friend and have seen her drawings etc. And as for the free toy, I feel it’s cheapskate. I honestly don’t care the value of gifts! Another friend made her a friendship band and I think that’s lovely to give homemade gifts. And another gave a colouring book. I Am interested to know who you think is BU? Thanks

As for the free magazine toy, magazines aren't cheap and as a child I was never allowed one. If they can afford kids magazines they clearly aren't impoverished

Charity shops often sell the toys still sealed for in the region of 10p.

Actually - it doesn’t take ‘respect’ or indeed any effort to buy an expensive present. It just takes money. Interesting that the moral here is, if you can’t afford a decent present, you’d better make damn use you can mitigate that by handicrafting up a storm from your extensive hobby drawer, but if you can, you can just sling any old Sylvanian Family in a gift bag.

The scribbly card is the clue to the lack of effort rather than the freebie to. The freebie toy obviously came with something that had to be paid for, so they're not that skint that they couldn't afford the magazine or whatever.
I'm with OP here. Looks like parent forgot to get a gift or card so did a last minute rush job. A large packet of sweets costs £1 so they could have bought that instead of the more expensive magazine for their own child. If they didn't have time to get a gift before the party, they could brought something small and wrapped when they collected afterwards. I'm in the "very rude" camp here.

but if you're taking your kid to a party please keep it classy

Fucking hell I've seen it all now. Make sure you're classy if going to a six year olds party

Anything’s possible. It’s possible they’re as rich as Croesus, and the girl has pocketed the money and bought DD something from the bottom of her toy box, because she’s a psycho. Unlikely, but possible.

I remember a thread probably years ago in _Chat so lost to the mists of time where a parent was at the wrong end of the month and had literally £1 available to get child to a 6th (ish) birthday party. She asked if hand-drawn card plus hand-drawn wrapping paper (both from A4 printer paper she already had) round a £1 box of Maltesers would be good enough, or should she keep her child home from the party.

Overwhelmingly the response was yes that's perfect, the birthday child will be thrilled with a box of Maltesers to herself, it's the company she wants not the plastic etc etc. Fair few remarks advising she pretend she'd left the gift at home by accident, but agreeing that nobody would bat an eyelid.

WeAllHaveWings - Your DS sounds like a lovely friend to that boy.

Op, for all you know the family could be struggling. I hope you didn’t make your distaste apparent.

Oh bless her. It sounds as if for whatever reason the little girl had to sort out the present and card herself. Sounds as if she did ok being only 6.

I wouldn’t be annoyed, I’d be keeping an eye out and ensuring all was well with the little girl and that she was safe at home.

YANBU OP- you can get birthday cards for 25p now.

This thread has made me feel really sad. I know my DS would have been extremely happy with a magazine toy, he prefers his magazine toys to his expensive toys in fact!
Welcome to Tory Britain! I really hope the mother never sees this thread.
For all those saying that if you can afford a magazine you can afford a present?
Maybe the toy was from a magazine bought a while ago and didn’t want to turn up empty handed? Got it from a charity shop? Maybe the family are skint and would rather spend their last tenner on feeding the family for a week rather than plastic tat for an ungrateful snob of a ‘friend?’
Kids don’t need a shitload of toys, they need love and fun and friends and experiences. Shame on you for calling her a cheapskate.

Your friend is quite cheeky I think. To turn up with a scrap of paper instead of a card and a free gift from a magazine.

I don't expect and I have never expected gifts. Not for my wedding, not for my children's baptisms, not for my children's birthday parties. What counts is that the people invited show up. Any gifts given are graciously accepted and not judged, certainly not to the extent of starting a thread on here.

I give birthday parties for my children to have fun with their friends, not to be revolved around with 'effort' and 'respect'. I choose to make that effort myself for others' parties, but couldn't imagine giving a fuck about someone not doing the same.

Vivienne, may I be bold and ask "Why are you always picking on the less well off."
By this I mean the glass thread you said op should pay the £156 for the glass and Today you're saying this child's mother is a bit cheeky for not turning up with an expensive gift.

Vivienne's just that kind of poster. You learn to ignore her. (She and Crumbs could possibly wipe each other out I think by outdoing each other, but no other Mumsnetter stands a chance.)

I didn't say the OP should have been given an expensive gift. I said she shouldn't have been given a scruffy bit of paper and a freebie. And as for the glass it was a different thread. And I didn't believe that tale about the glass tbh.

at Ardant

Myabe that was what the child wanted to give - small children don't know how much things cost and don;t care. My kids used to think the free toy on a comic or from a cereal packet was the bees knees and would have been pleased to get it.

I said she shouldn't have been given a scruffy bit of paper and a freebie

Why? If it made the kid feel like the others because they gave something.

Kids parties aren’t pay per attendance by gift

You epitomise stuck up middle class snobbishness

YABVU even if the family arent skint it could be that the child wanted to give that present for some reason. A child that young does not know if something is valuable generally or not they just know if its important to them... so to that six year old that might have been the best thing in the world she was giving.
I very vividly remember at that age giving someone a very small plastic owl tied to a penny with a tiny ribbon. I had demanded to give this present for some reason (which made sense to me at the time but cannot remember now!) Kids are weird.

I’ve read this exact thread before, I’m sure.

This is such a mean spirited thread. I am hating the though that someone who is struggling could be reading this and feeling that in the future they have to keep their child from attending birthday parties because they can't afford a present.

and equally one of my favourite birthday gifts from another child was a small green glittery plastic box. ring box sized. Was obsessed with it.
Was just a random piece of crap to an adult.

Kids do not know or care about how much money was spent on something. I think its lovely when kids pick gifts themselves to give each other instead of mum picking something that costs the right amount and is from the right shop to impress the other mother.

I feel sorry for the wee girl, that took the gift to take to the Party, and is now being judged .. bless the wee soul