Cheapskate friend AIBU?

[ukulelelady]

It was my daughters birthday recently and she wanted a party. Her friend turned up with a free toy from a magazine as a present.

The card was a crumpled folded over bit of scrap paper that was drawn on. (It was a scribble that I couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. The girl is 6)

I know it’s the thought that counts. When my daughter makes cards for her friends I say it’s to be neat and you’ve to make it your best job because a birthday is special. I wouldn’t allow her to pass off a scribble that would take her 5 minutes. I know all kids abilities are different but I know her friend and have seen her drawings etc. And as for the free toy, I feel it’s cheapskate. I honestly don’t care the value of gifts! Another friend made her a friendship band and I think that’s lovely to give homemade gifts. And another gave a colouring book. I Am interested to know who you think is BU? Thanks

Are you about to say her parents are millionaires who usually hand out yachts, and this was a pointed snub? Because otherwise you look like a total jerk.

The friendships are the important things here, not the stuff.

Sorry but I think you are. So many people live in poverty these days even if it's not always apparent

Some people are skint. As in literally haven’t a penny to buy a £2 gift. Is your daughter in desperate need of a toy? If so, buy her one yourself.

There's someone who doesn't come out of this story looking good, and I can assure you, OP, that it isn't your friend

I honestly don't care the value of gifts!

....Yet your description of the offending card and present says otherwise...

For someone who doesn’t care about the money “cheapskate” is an odd choice of word.

Wow. Grabby, unpleasant and downright mean! You, that is!

The child gave what she had to give...

You could say thoughtless instead of cheapskate I guess, but you're still being a drama queen and ungrateful. They came to the party, they brought a gift and card.

Next time maybe put a gift list on the invites if you're that bothered

God, it's a child's birthday. She has parents who love her and possibly other family to buy presents. It's a party and other children were invited.

Thinking about it, that's a much more thoughtful gift from the child as it's actually her things and her time in that present. My child goes with a toy I purchase, wrap and a card I buy and write.

Somehow I don't think you'd be complaining if you got a science kit and a card from her parents and if you're really honest it's bothered you they're cheap.

Careful your snootiness doesn't stop people attending her next party.

Yabu. What a lovely attitude to pass on to your daughter.

Couldn't really give a toss ! I like the idea of the handmade card however tatty it was.

How 'recently' was this party?

Was it last month and you're bored so you want to start a goady thread?

Oh give over OP.

And as for the free toy, I feel it’s cheapskate. I honestly don’t care the value of gifts!

Erm...........

Do you know her personal circumstances? Perhaps they are short of cash before payday and this was the only option for them? Maybe they’d come from somewhere else and forgotten the card/present so needed to improvise?

They came to your child’s birthday and brought a card and gift, I think it’s a bit mean spirited to sneer about the quality of it.

Do you know the ins and outs of her parents’ financial situation?

Maybe they couldn’t afford to buy a card/gift, so the girl found something to give as a gift and made a card by herself.

OP, I think in real life, a lot of people would be a bit put out to receive such things as they show a lack of thought and caring. It's not about the money.

Yes you are being unreasonable
And snobbish, mean spirited and shallow

Would you have been less judgey if they'd came along with nothing?

She's 6? Maybe it's what she really wanted to give and her mum couldn't persuade her otherwise. YABU to be upset about a 6-year-old's gift, especially when you don't know the whole story.

I had my neice overnight recently, to make contact time easier. She was attending a birthday party the next day. I discovered there had been a miscommunication between her mum and ex over who was buying presents. As it happened I had spare time and could affird to panic buy and wrap a gift and card for her to take. If she'd been staying with anyone else I doubt that would have happned though...

And yet she'd have turned up, with a parent and looking like a cheapskate (apparently). Things aren't always how they first look

YABVU. You don't know their financial circumstances. I went through a dire struggle with money a few years back and it was to the point where I even had to budget 25p for a packet of noodles. When you're totally on the bread line £1 is a lot of money.

i am actually going to side with op here, i think ppl are missing the point and that many ppl here would be similarly annoyed. She was not looking for an expensive present, she was looking for a bit of class and effort. If somebody brought a very bad made card to your kid's party and a free toy from a cereal box you too would not be impressed as it shows a lack of respect. I agree with you op but my advise is say nothing and no few people are that poor in Britain today that they cannot afford a 2 pound gift-if they are that poor then don't attend.