To think DD wasn’t unreasonable not to give up reserved seat?

[jasminajasminda]

Dd17 was getting the train from London to Edinburgh yesterday to visit her sister at uni (she’s just finished her internal school year 12 exams, and lessons don’t start again until Wednesday).

We obviously reserved her a seat. She arrived, got on the train, and sat down in her seat. The train was very busy, and a few minutes after the train started moving, a middle aged woman with a walking stick, having apparently wandered through several carriages (dd was in the front carriage) without finding a seat, looked around dd’s Carriage, then came up to her and asked her to move as she needed a seat (pointedly making a big deal of her walking stick). When dd pointed out that she had reserved that seat, and there was no way she was giving up her seat on a four hour train journey, the woman told her that she was young, and therefore didn’t need a seat as much as she did.

At this dd put on her headphones, and listened to music and ignored her. The woman eventually huffed and left the carriage. Dd said that she noticed a few other passengers giving her (dd) dirty looks throughout the journey.

Was dd being unreasonable?

I think your dad was fine in her response. I think the other woman was trying to intimidate her into giving up her seat and that is wrong. As others have said, if you know you are going on a long journey you either reserve a seat ( which lets face it costs nothing) or you suck up the cost and pay for a first class seat because there are more likely to be spaces.

Anyway, woman with a stick should have been asking train managers or whatever they are called to assist her, not other passengers. A disabled friend of mine travels regularly on that line, and has always found the station staff very helpful in getting her on the train and settling her in her seat. mind you she books seats and arranges help ahead and doesn't bully kids.

What a thoroughly unpleasant thread

agree Aridane

I would literally leap out of my seat if someone with a stick got on. thought that is normal

I'd have put headphones in and ignored her too. Your daughter was not being unreasonable. If she needed a seat so badly, she should have reserved one. It's just common sense. Also, as many have said, those giving your DD the dirty looks could have easily given up their seats. Double standards much? Anyway, she shouldn't lose any sleep over it. I wouldn't.

It sounds as if the woman wasn't very polite in the way she requested a seat - although, without having heard the actual conversation we can't be sure of that.

I still think your daughter should have given up her seat though and, if she didn't, another passenger should have. Yes, she was assertive and 'stuck up for herself', but I'd like to think my child would be kind as well.

Your DD was in the right. The woman clearly singled her out as she thought she could be pushed around and was rude in the way she requested the seat.

The same thing happened to me when I was younger. An old lady came on the bus and walked past several people to demand that I move - no please at all. However, I let myself be intimidated and did move. She didn’t even say thank you. I’ve also witnessed a woman demanding a teenage boy move because she wanted to sit in a particular seat and he refused. I think if she’s been polite he probably would’ve done it but she was so entitled and rude. I silently cheered when he refused to budge. I understand that you should respect your elders but that doesn’t mean you have to obey their orders when they have no manners.

The woman clearly singled her out as she thought she could be pushed around and was rude in the way she requested the seat

Where in this fantastic fiction does the disappeared OP claim the woman was rude? Even the OP only claims the woman "asked" and pointed to her disability, nor does she claim to know if the EvilOne had tried other people first.

All that is overlaid by your own bias.

And why are you conflating a disabled person asking for help and random people demanding seats on public transport?