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AIBU?

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Original poster

I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

999 replies

Welshgal1 · 05/05/2018 12:11

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

OP posts:
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Sadsnake · 05/05/2018 12:50

You sure she's a friend?

OrchidInTheSun · 05/05/2018 12:51

Have you worked out how much this trip is costing you in terms of lost earnings?

Even if you volunteered, it's reasonable to expect that your role is to be taxi. But tbh it would probably be cheaper for her to get a taxi home than pay for 2 tanks of fuel and your hotel room. Just say you can't afford it and let her figure out how she's going to get home.

Staying · 05/05/2018 12:52

I bet if you say no she'll rope someone else in. If she decides to take public transport that's ENTIRELY her decision.

Life's too short for friends like this.

HollowTalk · 05/05/2018 12:53

I think she should go on the train and then pay for a taxi back. It's not as expensive as you might think.

GnotherGnu · 05/05/2018 12:53

Can she get public transport there, then she'll be in hospital overnight and you can drive to collect her. Will save you both some money.

How on earth would that save OP money, Astrid? She'd be paying for, presumably, at least half the petrol which she would only be using for the friend's benefit.

PurpleTigerLove · 05/05/2018 12:53

Don’t go

RhinoBlue · 05/05/2018 12:53

You need to communicate your expectations. If you can only afford it if she pays and you can't take her otherwise tell her that. Highlight that you are taking time off work to help her.

An alternative idea is just to pick her up, you won't need to stay overnight and she can all your fuel

happypoobum · 05/05/2018 12:54

Just tell her you can't go.

GnotherGnu · 05/05/2018 12:54

She can use her money to get there by public transport and come back by taxi. Or maybe use a taxi to get to the station and then travel back first class. There are some good deals available if you book early.

Storminateapot · 05/05/2018 12:55

If she can afford cosmetic surgery she should be factoring in the cost of getting there and having someone to look after her for the first 24 hours if there is no family help available.

Her circus, she pays the performers. How about she suggests the surgeon and anaesthetist cut their rates because they'd be going in to work anyway?

Missingstreetlife · 05/05/2018 12:55

Perhaps she hadn't planned for extra? cost of another person.

Original poster
Welshgal1 · 05/05/2018 12:57

Thanks all. She seemed that bewildered by me not being willing to split costs I was beginning to doubt myself. Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd.

I replied saying "I think I must of misunderstood somewhere along the line. I am happy to help you but my contribution is my time and efforts in driving an 8 hour plus round trip, and a loss of annual leave. I can pay for my own food, but I'm afraid if I need to come up with half the money for a hotel and fuel then I won't be able to help as it's just too expensive when I've got lots to save for at the moment"

She text back saying "I've taken out loans of nearly 13k for this, you don't need to tell me about debt. I know you're saving but you're not pregnant yet so surely sparing a couple of hundred wouldn't break the bank right now? I really need your help."

For context currently TTC.. saving up as much as possible to live comfortably during maternity leave etc.

OP posts:
Cagliostro · 05/05/2018 12:57

My money's on her having a boob job.

A reduction perhaps, seeing as she's a massive tit.

RoseWhiteTips · 05/05/2018 12:58

Withdraw your offer.

Baylis · 05/05/2018 12:58

Seriously OP, don't go. She is extremely cheeky, selfish and rude.

I'd reply and say "forget it, sort it yourself."

StealthPolarBear · 05/05/2018 12:58

I was wrong. She's a massive cf! Why on earth does she think the money she is spending on the op is anything to do with you

HolyMountain · 05/05/2018 12:59

Oh God, tell her to bugger off.

Don't fall for her sad face 'poor me' text.

ohfortuna · 05/05/2018 12:59

I'm speechless

StealthPolarBear · 05/05/2018 12:59

It's not even a sad text. It's an angry text. She just doesn't get it

Original poster
Welshgal1 · 05/05/2018 12:59

Had another text saying she didn't mean that as harshly as it came across...

Ooook then Hmm

OP posts:
Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 05/05/2018 13:00

@WhatCanIDoNowPlease
This totally summarises this situation.
Am going to "store" for future reference Grin
Op - not one penny + "trim" her off as surplus to requirements Grin

QueenOfThorns · 05/05/2018 13:00

OP, that is the response of someone who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself. Run far away!

Foxysoxy10 · 05/05/2018 13:01

Tell her to jog on and add the link to this thread.

Strawberry2017 · 05/05/2018 13:01

If it was a fun weekend away for you both I couldn't understand but it sounds awful for you if your not a fan of cities and crowds.
She's chosen this for whatever reason and it's not for her to decide how you spend/save your money.
X

TSSDNCOP · 05/05/2018 13:02

Pay for your own food, everything else she should be paying for.

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