I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

[Welshgal1]

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

The only way I could see your friends POV would be if she asked you to go and you'd gone 'oh brilliant, I've been meaning to go to Birmingham for months, I can get to X shop and visit Auntie Annie whilst you're in' or similar.

In that scenario I can see why she'd view it as more of a joint trip.

If however you're only going for your friend then yanbu.

I originally was going to say no, because I don't want to be on my own in London for 2 days (I don't do crowds, especially on my own and I've never been a city person) but she had no one else and was going to get public transport.
I'm extremely concerned at her using public transport after surgery so said that I'd drive. I should of questioned the costs but I just assumed she was asking for my time, as I wouldn't dream of expecting someone to pay if they were helping me and me alone. She called me up last night and asked about transferring half the money and I said I don't have that much spare and tried to explain my logic and she said I could book it on my credit card and she can transfer me half, if I don't have the money spare on my debit card. I ended the call and was hoping she'd think about it and think twice but just had a text asking what we gonna do about booking it all then?

I'm lost for words!

This is not a holiday or weekend away, you are going because of her operation, she shoukd pay, cheeky fecker. I would drop the arrangement like hot cakes.

Cheeky bitch. Why should you be a penny out of pocket for doing someone a favor.
I'd tell her to FOTTOSOFO and tell her to get the bus. .

She should pay. And because she clearly doesn't appreciate that you're only going to help her I would now not be going. Pretty clear cut in my view.

She should pay.

Tell her to do one and loose her as a friend.

CF! Tell her she can book what she lives because you aren't going any more. Be honest, say you were doing it as a favour but find her total ingratitude and gumption offensive.

Is it brain surgery she's getting? Putting that loose screw back in place?

Just tell her its not a weekend away, you are only going to help her and drive her and there is nothing at all in it for you. You will go if she pays expenses, otherwise you aren't going.

Can she get public transport there, then she'll be in hospital overnight and you can drive to collect her. Will save you both some money.

Just reply... ‘I think it would be best of you go back to your origional plan of travelling by public transport. I don’t want to go to London and was only doing it as a favour to you. Having to pay to do you a favour seems a bit much, sorry x’

I’m sure everyone on here would say not to add the sorry at the end, but I live in the real world!

Do you REALLY think of her as a friend, OP? Does she have any redeeming qualities?

If she was going to do it without and it was going to be cheaper without you and it’s your suggestion, I can see why she’s thinking halves tbh

If you can't pay (and shouldn't have to), perhaps you should say, "I hadn't realised I would need to pay when coming to support you. Perhaps I could drop you at the station and collect you from the return train instead as I can't afford to pay my way?"

Don’t go.

Its for her to pay as you are doing her a favour, its not a holiday situation. Say she either pays for everything or goes by herself.

No, you don’t have to pay when you are doing her a favour!

@Etino She asked me to do it, and said her only other option is public transport. She was concerned about doing that and so was I, I agreed so that she wouldn't put herself at risk. I still don't think that makes me liable to costs? Does it?

Make an excuse to get out of it because if you do this for us she will just continue to take the piss out of you forevermore

Her attitude is the reason she has 'no-one else'. Tell her no to the whole thing, she's taking the piss on a grand scale.

I would just say that perhaps it's best she takes herself after all as you could do with using your annual leave for other things...

She wants to make it your fault if anything goes wrong

She probably thinks you're profiting from her surgery by getting a free trip to London. This is only true if you actually wanted a trip to London in the first place which clearly you don't.

'I'm sorry I just don't have the money. You'll have to go back to your original plan and get the train.'

Of course not, but I think you need to let her decide for herself which she’d rather do, pay for you to go or go herself by public transport.