Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my friend should pay, she thinks we should split it?

999 replies

Welshgal1 · 05/05/2018 12:11

Driving a friend 4 hours away for an operation (cosmetic) and will use 2 full tanks of fuel in my car, cost of a hotel, food while I'm there and I'm using a days annual leave.
She wants to split all costs down the middle, whereas I think I'm using my holiday entitlement and 2 days of my time (which I am more than happy to give up) but don't think I should be paying for fuel, or for the hotel? I've said I'll pay for all my own food.
Her logic is we're both going so why should only she pay, she's already paying lots for surgery.
My logic is I wouldn't be going if it wasn't to do her a favour so don't see it fair to split costs.
Whats the right thing to do here? Don't want to be mean but trying to be fair...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Tistheseason17 · 05/05/2018 12:39

You are concerned about her post surgery - so how about you simply let her get herself there, she can have the surgery and then you can pick her up afterwards.

Ask for petrol money up front for the return journey as she is a CF of extreme merit. That way you only lose one day of annual leave. And tell her it's costing you to take a day off. This is all of her making.

Do not charge ANY of this to your debit or credit card on the promise she will pay you back as I don't think she actually will.

Smallhorse · 05/05/2018 12:39

Don’t do it !
Retract your offer politely.

RoseWhiteTips · 05/05/2018 12:39

She pays or she finds another driver.

Doyoumind · 05/05/2018 12:40

If you drive to London, where are you going to park the car and how much will that cost? Most hotels won't have free parking.

pictish · 05/05/2018 12:40

Err...you offered to take her when she was going to use public transport, which frankly she would have been fine on. You put yourself forward for this needlessly. I’m not sure she should pay given that fact.

ButchyRestingFace · 05/05/2018 12:40

Do we know it's cosmetic surgery

OP says it in her very first sentence.

pictish · 05/05/2018 12:41

I mean yeah I suppose morally she should...but she doesn’t need you there so it’s your choice to go.

BewareOfDragons · 05/05/2018 12:41

Your friend should be paying for everything, all costs incurred that weekend.

She should consider it part of the cost of her medical treatment. If she can't afford to pay for the accommodation, food and stay for both of you, then she can't afford the treatment (unless she can get herself home on public transport, which she would have to pay for, too).

Let her take public transport if she insist on being to be a cheeky fucker.

Chewbecca · 05/05/2018 12:41

just say no. Say 'i'm sorry, I don't have the money and cannot take you'.

She'll be fine on the train, it is quite a civilised form of transport!

elderflowerandrose · 05/05/2018 12:42

She should be paying for the whole thing, this is no holiday for you!!!!

Cancel your part in this and let her try and find some other mug to pay half to drive her and stay with her!

Total cf!!!!!!! 🤯

RhinoBlue · 05/05/2018 12:42

I think she is being cheeky.

I was recently asked by a friend to accompany her on a trip as she didn't want to go alone. She insisted on paying everything including my food. The way she saw it was I was taking time out of my life to do her a massive favour.

I would tell her you simply can't afford it. She has two choices, she either pays for you or she goes by public transport.

StealthPolarBear · 05/05/2018 12:42

So she does :)

tomhazard · 05/05/2018 12:43

She's so far in the wrong on this one. You wouldn't be going anyway so you shouldn't pay.

AornisHades · 05/05/2018 12:43

Just tell her you can't afford the expense and she'll have to go back to her original plan of public transport.

peanut2017 · 05/05/2018 12:43

Friend should definitely pay

Butterymuffin · 05/05/2018 12:44

No way. Send Dalmatian's message.

StealthPolarBear · 05/05/2018 12:45

It might be me but I can imagine feeling absolutely fine taking public transport but someone absolutely insisting I couldn't possibly and th ey would drive me and me not being assertive enough to say no!

corythatwas · 05/05/2018 12:46

well, if I understand your later post correctly it seems she asked you to do it, so it's not as if you'd pushed her into it

I think the only answer here is "sorry, find I can't afford it, afraid you'll have to go for the public transport option if you can't afford my half, am already losing money by taking time off"

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 05/05/2018 12:46

Leave her to it
God some people

corythatwas · 05/05/2018 12:47

but you are not 100% clear on whose idea it was, OP

TooTrueToBeGood · 05/05/2018 12:48

My money's on her having a boob job.

A reduction perhaps, seeing as she's a massive tit.

Piffle11 · 05/05/2018 12:48

Tell her to find another sucker ... she is being massively unreasonable. I wouldn't dare treat someone I disliked like this, let alone a friend who is willing to ferry me around and stay overnight with me.

RhinoBlue · 05/05/2018 12:48

Yes StealthPolarBear, I could easily see that situation too. It's possible she feels you insisted on taking her so you should pay your share of the trip. She could be sat on a forum somewhere saying 'I was happy to go by train, but friend insisted on driving me, now she thinks I should pay!'

ohfortuna · 05/05/2018 12:49

She thinks you're her mum

StealthPolarBear · 05/05/2018 12:49

I think I missed a page of messages

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.