Tracking DP on phone

[damekindness]

I was talking to some work colleagues today and it came up in conversation that they got their OH to turn on their 'share location' on their mobiles so they could see where they were. Apparently it's useful to know so they can get the dinner on the table ready for them

Aside from the whole being a domestic dinner slave issue, I think asking your OH to share their location so they can be tracked is a massive invasion of privacy. However the counter argument was that if they didn't have anything to hide they shouldn't mind....

I’d say it’s a pretty transparent excuse to know exactly where their partner is for some reason, presumably trust issues.

I’ve been in a violent controlling relationship before where my every move was tracked so for me, if someone expected to be able to do this to me it would be a deal breaker. I would never expect my current partner to agree to that either.

^^ Samantha Peterson are you a Joe Lycett fan?

I do have to agree, its a transparent excuse for no trust. Dont buy into that at all.

I hate the “if you having nothing to hide” argument for any reason.

This keeps cropping up on here and it’s just weird. Nothing can justify stalking and I’d be highly unamused by my husband telling me to give him access to my every move or he’d assume I was up to no good. Vice versa.

Weird.

What’s a relationship without trust? Fucked.

We all have find my iPhone enabled. Then the whole family can see where any of us are. Doesn’t bother us and can be quite handy. As long as these things are equal I don’t see the problem. He knows if i’m home yet, I know if he’s left work etc.

I should add that I have absolutely no trust issues and neither does he, it is just a practical tool which helps us organise life.

My husband and I mutually share our locations, it does make it easier for train pick ups etc - whichever one of us is home knows to leave when the other reaches a certain point. We don’t use it loads but it’s handy to have.

Surely if all agree it’s no problem.

I agree with you OP. I think it sounds massively creepy and there is no way I'd track anyone's location or allow them to track mine.

My husband and I have it turned on on our phones, not due to trust issues at all but just because it's really useful to see where the other person is sometimes. I probably only look once a week or something to see how far he is from home. Usually it's because he likes to give our daughter tea but it's hit and miss with traffic if he will be back in time. If he isn't back by her teatime then I will check how far away he is. If he is 2 mins down the road I'll wait for him to get back, if he's still on the motorway I'll do it myself. (He's often on the phone with work so calling him to see where he is isn't usually an option.)

I've no idea how often he checks where I am but I don't really go anywhere exciting, work, the supermarket or the odd baby group

I don't see what's wrong with a text telling them what sort of time you're likely to arrive just before you leave.....though personally we stick to "on my way"

Yep we both know each others logins, like others have said it's purely practical reasons. We trust each other completely, he's my best friend! It's good to see how far from home he is on a long motorway journey, how close I am to the train station so he knows when to pick me up etc.

I share location with my dh, dc, db and some cousins! Gives me a lovely happy feeling when I look to see where everyone is in their lives.

One cousin and I will often text to say “what are you up to there? 😊”

Don't see anything wrong with it, my husband drives a long commute and it's really handy to see whether he's left work yet, got stuck in traffic etc. It's just practical. And no we have absolutely no trust issues, either way.

I think everyone is entitled to do what suits them within a relationship, we have it on and use it. Not to spy, but to find out where each other is so we can work out when they are likely to be home. It's quite useful and less intrusive than phoning and saying "when will you be home, I need a poo and I can't leave DS unattended and I need to know if I need to sacrifice privacy or can wait".

I track my DH on his bike using Find My IPhone.

He can’t take calls while riding so if I want to see when he’s likely to be home I have a quick check.

He’s done the same to me at one time or another for a variety of reasons.

It’s not a big deal to us.

I can see that it would be to other people. I certainly don’t think I want to be tracked all the time.

It need both parties to be ok with it.

We usually use the fb locations to get a general gist. It's good to tell the dc to get out their uniforms, whack tea in etc.

Me and my partner have the life 360 app to share locations.
It's really handy, I know if he gets to work safe and he knows I've got to my job alright. Perfect for knowing when to start dinner etc.

No trust issues at all. Just handy for busy life's

AnneLoves I couldn't agree more. I cannot possibly imagine having a relationship where this was considered normal and/or desirable. I live an utterly blameless, predictable, humdrum life but not for one minute would I think of being 'tracked' by my DP or expecting him to let me 'track' him. We've been married 27 years and are very happy and close but I STILL wouldn't; part of a marriage/partnership is not to give someone access to your every action or every waking minute. I wouldn't open his post or look at his phone. IMHO part of a respectful relationship is a little space, trust and privacy.

I wouldn't want to think that the only thing stopping him being 'up to no good' is that I would be able to see where he was! Being faithful/honest/open is only of value if it's done freely. And how would conversations develop - 'why were you at x at 3.35 today?' ; 'where did you go when you weren't at work this morning?' 'what did you get when you stopped at a different Tesco branch this evening?'.....Sounds really awful, and I would think exactly the same with regards to my children too. I'm really surprised that people do this - it's no way to live in my view.

Yes banana I am a massive fan of Joe’s!

I’m projecting my issues most likely but I stand by what I said- for me it’s a deal breaker. The dinner issue or the meeting up issue and not knowing where they are- I just call and my partner answers and speaks to me (hands free).

We use it too, the kids quite often use the ‘find my Daddy app’ on the days when we are home first, then then run out to meet him. Also practically useful for when one of us is driving / cooking dinner / late for a dentist appointment. No trust issues but it probably saves us 10 “where are you?” “On the bus” Texts every week

No.I'd hate that. As a grown adult, why would you want your every move tracked?
Would totally feel like you're being watched. Even if you lead the most boring existence and the most exciting place you go to every day is the school gates and the local supermarket like myself!

I've no idea how often he checks where I am but I don't really go anywhere exciting,

Doesn't the fact that he could potentially be watching and tracking and not telling you bother you?
It seems so controlling to me.

Isn’t it just like any other decision about how people run the practicalities of their relationship or of their family life? Different solutions work for different people.

DH is a cyclist and has set up a system on Wahoo whereby I get an email with a live tracking link when he sets out on a ride. It’s useful and reassuring.

I know a couple who share their whereabouts, mainly so that they know what time the other will be home for dinner etc. It made things very tricky when there was a surprise party planned for the wife. The husband had to pretend he'd got no battery, so he could be 50 miles from where he said he was!

I think some posters are assuming constant tracking.

I don’t think many people use it like that.

We certainly don’t.

We use find my friends. No trust issues just good to know if he will make it for bath story bed etc. He runs so doesn’t use phone.

We have 3 D.C. and no trust issues.

I also like to know about dinner

It’s really handy. Also amusing when I wake at 2am to an empty bed have a look and he is in the clapham grand! Have a chuckle at the sad old men then back to sleep.

Don’t see the problem.... but only with dh And wouldn’t suggest to others