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Original poster

Tracking DP on phone

451 replies

damekindness · 04/05/2018 23:10

I was talking to some work colleagues today and it came up in conversation that they got their OH to turn on their 'share location' on their mobiles so they could see where they were. Apparently it's useful to know so they can get the dinner on the table ready for them Hmm

Aside from the whole being a domestic dinner slave issue, I think asking your OH to share their location so they can be tracked is a massive invasion of privacy. However the counter argument was that if they didn't have anything to hide they shouldn't mind....

OP posts:
12PurpleSnails · 04/05/2018 23:53

@CadyHeron it doesn't bother me at all because neither of us use it to check up on each other all the time. It's only for really practical reasons not stalking each other.

PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe · 04/05/2018 23:54

isntit you mean you start every day thinking he might NOT have got to work ok? I think that sounds an exhausting mindset ..... and don't you think it's intrusive and over-anxious to spend time checking every day that he's managed to complete what I imagine must be the same routine journey successfully? He's an adult! Just get on with your day, and meet later, and chat about it! If (god forbid) anything awful happened you'd soon find out.

CaptainCabinets · 04/05/2018 23:55

I’m Grin at all the weird and wonderful ‘reasons’ for tracking your DP. Admit it, you just want to keep tabs on them.

Why not just ring and ask if you need to know where they are? I’d hate my DP to obsessively track my movements, and I’ve no desire to track his because I trust him 100%.

NoMudNoLotus · 04/05/2018 23:57

We share our locations ... mainly so we know when each has left work.

My DH is a police officer so on nights at the weekend I find it reassuring when i can see he's safely in the station.

Its not stalkerish in our family at all ... dont judge others according to your own lives .

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2018 00:00

I’m sitting here wondering how DH and I have both managed to make dinner all these years without keeping track of where the other is at all times....

So many people who can’t coordinate meal times without it!

When he’s stuck in traffic and going to be quite delayed, he calls me hands free and tells me. Neither of us kicks off if the other is running late so there’s a balance between no one taking the piss when we’ve made plans, and a bit of mutual flexibility.

Even if the intention isn’t to keep specific tabs on each other, how can you help wonder what they’re up to if they’re somewhere other than what you expect? It’s just unnecessary weirdness.

But most people seem to disagree.

Makes you wonder how we all survived before we had mobiles and made plans then had to stick to them.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2018 00:01

Well precisely @CaptainCabinets

We’re in the minority apparently. Who knew?!

PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe · 05/05/2018 00:02

Of COURSE it's stalkerish! You've deliberately set up a system where you can each find out where the other one is at any time of the day or night. Obviously you can do whatever suits you in your family as long as everyone agrees but it really is not a 'natural' thing for a grown adult not to be able to do anything or go anywhere without a partner knowing about it.

LexieLulu · 05/05/2018 00:02

My DH was meant to pick me up from work recently, but after 20min waiting and I couldn't get hold of him, I left and got the bus home.

He was stuck in traffic and phone was in the boot for some reason.

Anyway, I told my friend and she mentioned the find my friend app thingy. I downloaded it but forgot to set up in all honesty. But in that circumstance it would have been beneficial

NoNoCharlieRascal · 05/05/2018 00:03

Dh enabled this on my phone so I can see where he is. He drives for a living. It helps me plan the evening without him having to stop to call or text to let me know there is traffic/an accident/got held up at a job. It's useful.

12PurpleSnails · 05/05/2018 00:04

Ironically it seems to me that the people so against it are the ones with the trust issues. You don't seem to trust your partners not to sit and track you all day if they had the option to. Mine could do if he wanted but I don't for a second believe that he does. Just like I could with him, but as I said in my previous post I use it once or twice a week to help with our daughters teatime. We're just both stupidly busy and this makes our lives run a bit more smoothly. If it doesn't suit your lifestyle then that is fine but it works well for us.

SickOfThisShitNow · 05/05/2018 00:05

DH and I can track each other if we want. I'm bad for putting my phone on silent and forgetting to take it off so DH will phone to find out where I am and if I don't answer he can look on his phone.
He has a hobby that is potentially dangerous and god forbid anything happen, if he didn't come back on time at least I could locate him.

DDs can be and are tracked. It's one of the stipulations of them being allowed to roam and also have iPhones.

Justanotherlurker · 05/05/2018 00:05

Yup massive invasion of privacy, if someone asked me for that, I would tell them to do one even if it was done in some cutesy way of saving the odd text message it is a control issue

I hate the “if you having nothing to hide” argument for any reason.

Agree, it's said too much at the minute, the people who use this argument are usually the first to be worried for their own personal safety because some dynamic IP address has been screenshotted etc whilst happily snapchatting/facebooking their morning coffee

Festivecheeseandcrackers · 05/05/2018 00:09

I track my husband’s location. He suggested it for when he was on long cycle rides as he often wouldn’t hear his phone and it gave me an idea of when he’d be back. It’s also been useful for other reasons like today he was supposed to be attending an appointment at a property we own but there was a chance his meeting would run over. I was going to check if he’swff on time to keep appointment at the house if I hadn’t heard from him on time.

He doesn’t have my details but could have them if he wants. He has no desire to but I’m a big texted/called anyway.

We have no trust issues.

Pikehau · 05/05/2018 00:10

my DP to obsessively track my movement

But we don’t do it obsessively.

Festivecheeseandcrackers · 05/05/2018 00:14

anne i have never been cocnrrmes if my husband isn’t where I expect him to be. I don’t see why I would be. I completely trust him so if he was somewhere random I would presume something had come up but beyond being curious, I wouldn’t give it another thought.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 05/05/2018 00:15

I share my location with my kids, so if we go out, or I'm running late, they know where I am. I occasionally share my location with my husband. Rarely I check where he is by using "Find Device" on our shared account, but he would get a notification that I'm looking. I only use it when we're shopping in town separately and are supposed to be meeting up but he never hears his phone ring, or I want to check how far he is from home when I know he should be on his way. I would never ask him to routinely share his location. I do like knowing where the kids are, they're just starting to go out and about by themselves, but again, it's all by choice.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 05/05/2018 00:15

@FoxySamanthaPetersonTheCat I knew it!

Do you still haunt his office?

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 05/05/2018 00:18

If I want to know where my husband is, I text and ask.

Didn’t even know you could track them.

So creepy.

NoMudNoLotus · 05/05/2018 00:20

Such a lot of ignorance on this thread .

bella2bella · 05/05/2018 00:22

We have it on and I look probably 3 times a week to see if he's left work (his car doesn't have hands free) and I have no idea how often he looks to see where I am (probably once every 3 weeks when my daughter asks to see) but I honestly don't care at all if he looks multiple times a day - if he called and asked where I was i would always tell him, I've never had any reason for him not to know. We first put it on so we could track each other on runs for safety but not just leave it on all the then. Neither of us feel it's an invasion of privacy.

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 05/05/2018 00:26

If its mutually agreed and both parties genuinely dont have a problem with it then I think its fine.
I know that my aunt has it with her husband because she lost a close friend in a tragic accident and developed ptsd... they agreed that she would always be able to track her husbands phone because he travels sometimes for work and the reassurance of seeing him move around helped her massively deal with her anxiety over something happening to him.

Personally I would hate it being done to me and would never in a million years ask my DH if I could track him.
I dont have anything to hide but I would find the concept of it draining and oppressive.
I need to sometimes feel like im completely alone... not for any shady reason but just to be calm and feel like a human being not just part of other people. I walk alone in the woods nearby for example to relax.
Someone tracking my every movement is my idea of a nightmare.

But each to their own!

CadyHeron · 05/05/2018 00:42

If I want to know where my husband is, I text and ask.

Didn’t even know you could track them.

So creepy.

Exactly! Know it's a thing, the teen has a find my phone thing set up to his phone so that if he loses it he can find out where it is if he rings it. A location device for it.
If I was that way inclined, I could set up my phone to know where everyone was and when.
DH at work - what happened to phoning/texting/waiting until they get home?
You don't need to know their exact location, just know what time they're due home.
I'd be tempted to go to some random strange place just to throw him if DH tried to get me to be kept track of.
I'd "check in" to a random strip club or something Grin

AlexanderHamilton · 05/05/2018 00:52

We all have it enabled. I think all of us at one point or another have lost our phones & it’s enabled us to find it.

Dh has a long motorway commute & he brings Dd Home so on the nights I’m not taking Ds to activities I do tend to just check how far off home he is so I can judge when to heat tea up.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/05/2018 00:53

Knowing what time he’s due Home just wouldn’t work. He can leave at 6.15 & be home by 7.15pm or equally if traffic is bad not until 8pm.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 05/05/2018 00:54

I ask DH to put his on when he goes out to work, he’s a gritter driver in winter and 6yo DD likes to follow his dot around his gritting route to see how far away he gets. That’s all we use it for though.

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