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Original poster

Tracking DP on phone

451 replies

damekindness · 04/05/2018 23:10

I was talking to some work colleagues today and it came up in conversation that they got their OH to turn on their 'share location' on their mobiles so they could see where they were. Apparently it's useful to know so they can get the dinner on the table ready for them Hmm

Aside from the whole being a domestic dinner slave issue, I think asking your OH to share their location so they can be tracked is a massive invasion of privacy. However the counter argument was that if they didn't have anything to hide they shouldn't mind....

OP posts:
AlonsosLeftPinky · 05/05/2018 07:24

I also agree that it's no wonder anxiety etc is soaring when people are now expected to be contactable at every minute of the day and tracked whether it be by GPS or by time stamps on apps. People drive themselves batty checking.

GinIsIn · 05/05/2018 07:27

We both do this. I didn’t ask DH to. And it IS so I know what time to make dinner for. I’m not a domestic slave, I get in at 5 and he gets in between 7 and 8. Sometimes he forgets to text, or more often as we travel on Southern, it’s not just one text but ‘on train’ ‘stuck at a red signal.’ ‘Another ted signal’ ‘held outside Croydon’ etc. This is just easier and what works for us. Can’t get worked up about what other people think.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 05/05/2018 07:28

I use the phone tracker for exactly the same reason in the OP.

I enjoy cooking meals from scratch and don't like them sitting around being kept warm so I like to know exactly when to get the food prepared for.

I do all the prep in advance and I then start cooking once I've checked the progress of his commute home. I don't want to wait until he is actually home before I start cooking as he gets home quite late in the evening and I want to eat as early as we possibly can.

I don't use it for any other reason.

Why do you call someone who cooks the family meal a domestic dinner slave? Is DH also one when he cooks at the weekend?

Thirtyrock39 · 05/05/2018 07:29

I use it for seeing if he's left work yet but it is a bit weird I guess and has led to rows so am considering stopping using it .

Roussette · 05/05/2018 07:29

Icantcope of course it can be a useful tool. But what if like a pp said, you value your privacy and you don't want it on but your DH does? Or vice versa?

No one can tell me that people don't use it to 'check up' on their other half. Not everyone, but some will

So you want to sit in the park for an hour watching the world go by. Or you want to hit the shops running at the Mall for hours. And whilst it's nothing dodgy that you're doing, you actually don't want to tell your DH what you're doing every waking moment. I would loathe it

ICantCopeAnymore · 05/05/2018 07:31

Roussette - then don't use it. It's a simple concept.

Also, if I wanted to go to the park for half an hour, or go shopping for hours, I would. Why wouldn't I want to tell my DH? How bizarre that people have to hide the things they want to do and keep them secret from their partners. My DH wouldn't give a flying fig what I did as long as I was happy.

Roussette · 05/05/2018 07:32

If I had a DH who insisted I have it on to make sure I was 'safe', I would drive to the nearest Travelodge and ask the reception to look after my phone for 3 hours on an afternoon when he was at work Grin

Toomanytealights · 05/05/2018 07:33

We all have it switched on. 2 adults and 3 teens. We both cook from scratch and dh rides home from work 16 miles on a bike. I like to know if he's ok and not dead in a ditch,he likes to know where I am if I'm running late. Same re the kids. Soooo useful. We never remember we're being tracked.

Roussette · 05/05/2018 07:34

Icant it's not about having to hide the fact I've been to the park or whatever, it's just the principle I suppose. I would feel like I'm being watched.

Luckily I have a DH who couldn't give a flying fig either, but that doesn't apply to everyone, there's a lot of controlling partners out there

NSEA · 05/05/2018 07:36

I have this turned on my phone. I don’t stalk him but if my dh goes away with work or on a night oht and forgets to let me know where he is staying or that he’s arrived safely I like to check on there rather than disturb him with a text or call when he’s busy working or having fun. It’s reassurance he’s safely arrived rather than stalking. But if he didn’t like it and asked me to turn it off I wouldn’t think the worst.

crazymumofthree · 05/05/2018 07:36

We can see each other's locations, we have a find my phone app on our phones and I pad which are all linked to a family account and we haven't bothered to change it. I've probably used it 2/3 times, when OH has been travelling away to see how far he's got (he drove to Switzerland) and a couple of times where he's driven for a few hours and hasn't answered his phone just to check how far he's got and she he'll be home. Once my children are old enough they will be added too as it will be quite handy to see what they are upto!

Toomanytealights · 05/05/2018 07:37

We rarely look at it until it's needed. Who has the time to keep checking on others? None of us have any secrets,my dh would applaud me finding some escape time in our busy life. When needed it's a very useful resource.

ICantCopeAnymore · 05/05/2018 07:37

Well exactly, Rouss. Then it's not the app that's controlling, it's the partner. If all parties want to use it, then it's not weird in the slightest.

GertieMotherwell · 05/05/2018 07:37

RexManning
DH is a cyclist and has set up a system on Wahoo whereby I get an email with a live tracking link when he sets out on a ride. It’s useful and reassuring

Could you tell me more about this please?

adaline · 05/05/2018 07:39

I find the whole thing really creepy if I'm honest. I refuse to enable it on my phone and if DP asked me to, I'd be extremely Hmm

I have nothing to hide but I don't want someone tracking my every move. If I want to go and see my mum, for example, that's my business and DP doesn't need to know that I've stopped there before work, or that I went to Greggs three days in a row one week for breakfast.

It can so easily be used as a tool for control. "No wonder you have no money, you stop in Starbucks/Greggs everyday" or "I don't want you hating out with Sophie because every time you do, you end up at x's house."

Add to the fact that they're not always accurate anyway, and you have a recipe for disaster. "Well, it said you were here and you clearly weren't so what are you trying to hide" etc.

Plus if I'm running ten minutes late I don't want to be checked up on, nor do I want someone panicking on my behalf because I'm, for example, stuck in a bit of traffic or caught behind a tractor for a few miles of my journey.

I'm an adult. If there's an issue or I'm going to be late, I'll ring or send a text. I don't want someone checking up on me and planning dinner around me like that. I find the whole idea incredibly suffocating.

Whatalovelymug · 05/05/2018 07:39

People are very het up at the idea of this. We have ours on, nobody is being stalked, I think that would require us to follow behind and spy on them, not look at their location from the comfort of the sofa.
It’s useful if your phone is stolen. I have a few friends on it too.

misskatamari · 05/05/2018 07:41

We have ours shared with each other on iPhone. No trust issues at all, it's just useful to see where we are on journeys home etc sometimes. It's not an issue for us at all, I've never thought about it as a way of "checking up" on each other. I guess it depends on your relationship and motivation for having it shared. For us it's just something that got turned on at some point of sorting our phones early on and is just a useful thing that's still there when needed

Toomanytealights · 05/05/2018 07:41

Then don't have it.

I love the freedom it gives me not to have to send texts.

As I said we never know it's on and rarely look at it until needs be.

bertyflump · 05/05/2018 07:42

We share locations and can honestly say it's nothing to do with trust. After losing my dad suddenly, I get anxious about something awful happening to my dh and dc but dh is crap at keeping in touch and letting me know he's got to places safely etc so he suggested it. He does most of school drop offs and travels a lot with work so it just gives me reassurance that everyone has safely arrived to where they need to be. I appreciate this is probably bonkers, but it's nothing to do with me not trusting him.

FrangipaniBlue · 05/05/2018 07:46

DS and I gave find friends enabled as do DS/DH so that we know where DS is (10).

DH and I don't.

my find my iPhone password is written down in the safe in our house purely because I fell walk so if anything ever happened to me then DH can use it/give it to emergency services.

I know his password because I set his phone up for him so theoretically I COULD track him, but I've never saw the need. I ring or text him if I need to know what time he'll be home.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2018 07:46

There have been a lot of threads on this sunject. It always divides people.

We manage to get along just fine without tracking everyone so it's not for us.

Nanna50 · 05/05/2018 07:48

This need for instant information invades all areas of our lives. I admit when I want to know something I google it rather than thinking too hard about it, I can check where the dress I want is in stock with a few swipes, I receive updates on the minutia of friends and families antics in an instant.

I can see why people use it as a convenience but it's also an easy disguise for insecurity or control. Having said that, if my kids were young I would be tracking them.

I have nothing to hide but I can't understand why anyone needs to know where I am. They can ring me, and if I don't answer then maybe I don't want to be disturbed, if its urgent send an urgent text or ring until I answer, or use a different method like in the olden days before mobile phones.

If I'm stuck in traffic and my family need to know, I will ring, If I need help I will give you my location or ask someone if I don't know it. My family don't need to know if I'm working at home, in the office or off site. We don't need to know exactly what time someone will be walking through the door.

We have successfully synchronised dinner on the table (or not), days out, holidays, meet ups, pick ups and drop offs for decades without ever having to track each other.

And I often like to be alone, I hate being constantly contactable and expected to respond. I frequently have my phone on silent and often in another room. My family do moan about this sometimes and I'm living dangerously by some peoples standards.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2018 07:51

I went out for the day and forgot my phone not long ago. It was soo liberating.
I might do it more often.

adaline · 05/05/2018 07:53

I just don't see the need for it. I also don't really want everyone knowing my every move - what's the point?

If someone is late home or you need to know where they are - call them or text them. If they don't respond, maybe they're driving, or busy, or have no signal, or just don't want to be disturbed.

I don't like this idea of being available to other people 24/7. If I don't want to reply to a text or answer a call, I don't want someone using that against me.

Toomanytealights · 05/05/2018 07:54

I don't like continuously sending texts or taking calls thanks. If I'm stuck in traffic I don't want to pull over and ring I just want to get home. Ditto if I'm racing somewhere on foot. With tracking I just get on with what I need to do without the modern need for updates. If anybody is really worried they can check up and see where I am.

No insecurities as we're not insecure and no control as weren't not controlling.

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