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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - colleagues mother charges her £550 per month for living there

173 replies

smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 22:52

She also takes £500 pcm from colleague’s sister and £400 pcm from colleague’s fiancé.

Colleague says that her mum has lost benefits because of her and feels that she needs to make up for this.

This only came up as she’s saving to get married next May and I asked her if her mum was offering any help with this. Colleague is lovely but v young and says that her mum is not contributing anything as she can’t afford it.

Planned wedding is very cheap, less than £2k all in.

I was Shock about the money her mother is charging as board and I wonder if this is reasonable. Colleague also has to pay extra for food.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 03/05/2018 22:54

None of your business. You don’t know the circumstances. If your colleague isn’t happy she can always move out.

Original poster
smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 22:56

No it’s not my business but she offered this information when we were talking today. I just wondered if this was the going rate

OP posts:
Batmanthedude · 03/05/2018 22:57

None of your business at all. If the rent needs paying and the dm has lost her benefits due to them living there then they need to pay the rent.

Also depending where you are in the country but 900 quid a month here will get you a shite one bed hovel

happyinherts · 03/05/2018 22:57

Totally agree with 19lottie82

Everyone's circumstances are different and it's not right or fair to judge or comment.

Why make it your business? It isn't.

Bitchywaitress · 03/05/2018 22:57

I can feel for people that have ended up relying on benefits, then have those benefits removed once their children are grown, however...

£550+£400+£500 for presumably 2 rooms is taking the utter piss considering these are Her Children, not her tennants.

TriHard27 · 03/05/2018 22:57

That would rent you a small place of your own around here! Shock

But if she’s happy to pay then it’s obviisuky between them.

Original poster
smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 22:58

We’re in Nottingham. Colleague says that the rent is £600pcm

OP posts:
FASH84 · 03/05/2018 22:59

It depends on the area, could her and her fiance rent with all bills and council tax included for £900 a month? Definitely couldn't here, and if there are two working adults in the property mum has probably lost all benefits (other than any disability related) . They are probably covering the rent between the three working adults and if they didn't live there it sounds like mum would get housing benefit.

Bitchywaitress · 03/05/2018 23:00

Obviously does depend on circumstances such as London? Private tenant? Could mum downsize and slash her costs? Etc etc.

If I was in that position I would only want to charge DC what it cost me, not profit from them living at home.

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 23:01

Rent £600 plus full council tax and bills for three adults £1450 is probably on the steep side if they buy their own food.

wheredidsummergo12 · 03/05/2018 23:02

Wouldn’t it be cheaper for your colleague to move out? U could suggest that.

Original poster
smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 23:02

Colleague and fiancé share a room. Her sister is in another room and their mother and stepdad share another room. He works FT. I don’t know, it just sounded like a lot of money to be charging for board.

I’m not saying it’s any of my business. I just wondered if this was the going rate these days. I gave my mother £30pw in 1997.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 23:02

'They are probably covering the rent between the three working adults and if they didn't live there it sounds like mum would get housing benefit.'

No due to the bedroom tax.

I'm astonished that people still think a person's parents contribute to a wedding.

Bitchywaitress · 03/05/2018 23:02

Maybe she is charging so much as she will surprise them with a wedding gift for deposit?

But honestly at £950 they could get their own place easily enough??

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/05/2018 23:03

But £600 is for a whole flat not just a room

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 23:03

It also interests me as to why she was on benefits, that her children now essentially pay. If it's disability related that's one thing, but if she could be working she's a con artist living off her children.

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 23:04

If step dad is there working she wouldn't get housing benefit anyway!! She's definitely a CF

Bluelady · 03/05/2018 23:05

A lot of parents contribute to weddings. We are.

MrsLaurac · 03/05/2018 23:06

950pm in nottingham!? Even in the city that would get something lovely but as previous posters have said not your drama.

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 23:07

Ours did contribute a little bit, veil, shoes etc, but they'd been very generous when we bought our house the year before and they all came to Mexico for the wedding. Certainly no complaints from us and we actually said thank you but no when they offered as we felt they'd already been generous and were paying for their own trips at a lot of expense.

Bitchywaitress · 03/05/2018 23:07

I really don't understand why people get in this situation though. Surely it's more sensible to slowly wean yourself off benefits while your kids grow up, then you don't have a nasty shock when they stop.

It's like some people except to be 'paid' for having kids and when they are no longer receiving money from the state they expect the kids to pay them or leave.

EB123 · 03/05/2018 23:09

We pay less than £600 a month for a large 3 bed semi! Does it include food and bills?

Original poster
smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 23:10

Mother is not disabled. She doesn’t work but I don’t know why that is. Colleague started as an apprentice where I work. She then was offered a full time job and her mum takes half of her take home pay as board. She offered this information and she wasn’t moaning about it.

OP posts:
Windthebobbinup1982 · 03/05/2018 23:11

I'm astonished that people still think a person's parents contribute to a wedding.

Why? My parents contributed to my wedding. I will contribute to mine (assuming I’m able to). It’s a sad world when families don’t share their wealth but each live in their little bubble.

Original poster
smithssquarecrisps · 03/05/2018 23:11

It’s a rented three bed semi.

OP posts:
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