Overheard my cousin say “We asked <my name> she daren't say no :(

[cocktailsausages]

As above. My cousin asked me to help her move, no petrol money offered, not even a bed for the night as she wants to spend first night in new home with her partner alone. I said yes and here I am, worked all morning, soaking wet, was waiting for her in the car outside to follow her to new place, she didn’t come out so I went back in her hall and heard on say on the phone to someone that she’d asked me to move her because I daren’t say no to her.

I always help out when I can, I’ve taken a day off and driven a long way. Now I feel used.

Well done for cutting it short. Personally, I wouldn't ask for petrol money at this stage. The time to negotiate that was BEFORE the move. Just don't help her again, but I would let her know you'd heard the conversation.

Are you going to tell her you heard what she said?

I'd be tempted to send an old fashioned happy new home card and put ... you can be overheard on the phone and I feel very let down by what I heard.

Why should the cousin need to message Op other than to say "thank you"?

Op took the stuff to the new house, helped unload & left.

Even after everything, she can't be faulted!

nothing wrong with being kind and helpful to people who have your back and reciprocate. She’s merely a user.

Even without the derisive dig, she should be dropping you chocs or a bottle of wine round as a bare minimum...

Post something like this as your status on fb, and tag your cousin with it

www.featurepics.com/StockImage/20080616/woman-in-bath-stock-image-771020.jpg

I think you need to consciously uncousin her.

@SirSidneyRuffDiamond

When I read threads like this I so wish that mumsnet had been around in the days when I needed a bit of steel in my backbone.

Dump her stuff on the pavement. Go for coffee and dry off then back to work. How dare she take you for granted when you were doing her a good turn. Honestly what is wrong with some people? Where are their manners?

I dont get why you didnt speak to her about it, extract some petrol money and not be so damn helpful.

You better get angry when you speak to her next instead of letting her ride roughshod over you!

I hope you feel liberated OP!

You were really helpful and kind in doing all the things you did. Don't feel one morsel of guilt for heading off after her behaviour - that's having healthy boundaries I think.

If you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat CF will wipe their wet muddy feet al over you......
Go home Put your feet up and if she calls calmly tell her why then hang up.

goo.gl/images/ivrSbB

For your Facebook page.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I'd like to think I'd have confronted her there and then with a "what the heck/fuck".

You really need to tell her what you heard and/or be ready to say no in future.

If you don't tell her what you heard she will be none the wiser and you'll end up seething inside. If you do confront her, she'll end up feeling bad and you'll feel better and not like you've been used.

Also speed is of the essence, this needs doing ASAP.

Definately time to uncousin.

I hope you enjoy your rest and your wine op.

Your cousin sounds awful but well done for extricating yourself from her 'power' .

Send your bank details with your petrol money request too

at

if she asks you why you didn't come back, just tell her something came up that you daredn't say no to

You better get angry when you speak to her next instead of letting her ride roughshod over you!

Why does the OP need to get angry now, though? She's had her revenge - not waiting at the old flat, and not helping at the new house. Getting angry will only interfere with her enjoyment of having shafted the CF.

I'd really enjoy the fact that she wouldn't know why I suddenly stopped helping, she'd have an uneasy feeling I'd overheard the conversation, but would never be able to ask outright.

well done. You’ve stood up for yourself.

The final step is for you to say ‘I overheard you on the phone. I’m glad I now know what you think of me and how you speak about me’.

if she asks you why you didn't come back, just tell her something came up that you daredn't say no to

this is brilliant!

Have you got the kettle lead OP??

I really hope so!! Take a picture of it and send it to her with #CFhostage that'll learn/irritate/baffle her!

OP, I'm doing a little dance for you right now. I'm a dreadful people pleaser too and I get how hard it must've been to do this. You're an inspiration!

for you OP.