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Original poster

Over reacting to husbands new female friend?

638 replies

Orangeblosssom3 · 02/05/2018 11:32

Me and DH have been going through a tricky patch. And while on the computer yesterday I saw on his (open) tab on social media a message from him to a woman saying ‘I’ve still got your scarf with a grinning emoji.

She replied sorry, thanks, do you want to meet for coffee to get it back, and also to discuss x a shared interest.

He replied we can meet to ‘talk about anything you fancy’ grinning emoji.

Oh damn! Feel sick. I checked the woman’s profile, she’s 20 years younger and has a boyfriend but otherwise is just his type. DH has not mentioned this at all. He only went on social media a few months ago and she was the first person he became friends with.

What to do now? Embarrassed about admitting that I peeked on his page. I think I was a little worried. Years ago he got very friendly with a woman at work, got a crush on her I think, it never got physical but they discussed our relationship and used to also meet for coffees. We went to counseling where he realised that was insensitive.

OP posts:
LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:13

We’re behind you, OP. Stupid twat and silly scarf woman.

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:13

Florene is a Grade A spook Grin

Original poster
Orangeblosssom3 · 03/05/2018 00:13

He may well use an app like WhatsApp or Instagram as he used apps rather than texts the last time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeblosssom3 · 03/05/2018 00:14

Florence and steppin you are my guides!

OP posts:
LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:16

Do you know is Instagram account name? If you* follow him then you can see his activity - comments, likes etc.

*a fictional account

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:16

Fictitious account, that should say.

Florene · 03/05/2018 00:17

LeChatDeNuit Wink

Original poster
Orangeblosssom3 · 03/05/2018 00:17

@lechat and others honestly thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. I think I would be a crying mess still if I hadn’t posted. Paranoid, ashamed and silly.

Now I’m determined... am checking any accounts online tonight. Will photo other finances tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeblosssom3 · 03/05/2018 00:18

He’s just joined Instagram, not sure will look him up.

OP posts:
LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:18

‘Paranoid ... silly’ GrinGrin

You’re doing brilliantly OP.

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:19

I could follow him on Instagram if you like and check out his activities. Just PM me his username if you feel up to it.

Florene · 03/05/2018 00:25

Then you will need to do the same with WhatsApp - block her first before changing the contact. Also delete your messages. And then delete your profile photo.

If you wanted to be super sneaky, get a 99p SIM, save her number in your phone, go to WhatsApp and save her profile pic. Then you can set up a WhatsApp account with her photo for the 99p number. And save this number as hers in his phone. Means he can still call or message you in the meantime. And you can swap SIM when you want to check what he's sent.

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:26

Florene, I think you should start an agency Grin

I hope you’re okay OP.

Florene · 03/05/2018 00:27

But that's advanced level spooking Grin

GinThereDoneThat · 03/05/2018 00:28

Hope the bastard gets what's coming to him. Stay strong @Orangeblosssom3 you have got this WineThanks

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:28

Though if they’ve previously been chatting on WhatsApp, it won’t work because there will be no message / contact history.

cindersrella · 03/05/2018 00:31

Erm.... I wouldn't be happy. I'd be confronting or following to the coffee shop by coincidence on there next meet with a friend and accidentally bump into them.

SeriouslyBanana · 03/05/2018 00:32

Good luck OP. Well done for being so bloody strong SmileThanksWine

Florene · 03/05/2018 00:35

This is assuming he clears it down each time LeChat. Which he probably does if up to no good.

And if not, I would just delete it and change numbers etc. anyway. He will probably be a bit confused but may well think he's done it himself. I might even send a 'morning x' message from other number to start the ball rolling and stop him from noticing the lack of saved message thread...

Osirus · 03/05/2018 00:40

You can always deny all knowledge of the friend request. I have accidentally sent requests in the past, it’s so easy to do with a touchscreen phone. Always done without realising until I have a new random friend, usually from the “people you may know” list.

And she doesn’t necessarily know who you are. She may reject requests from people she doesn’t know (sensibly- unlike the people that are requested by me as above!).

Charliecatpaws · 03/05/2018 00:46

Did you say that she’s in a relationship? When the shit hits the fan message him your screenshots

ChunckyMonkey · 03/05/2018 00:52

lOL you guyz have cia level snooping skillz. Men just want to sleep with young women , its programmed in thier DNA.

LeChatDeNuit · 03/05/2018 00:57

Men just want to sleep with young women , its programmed in thier DNA.

So is my desire to kill people who test my will to live, and yet somehow I manage to restrain myself Hmm

ChunckyMonkey · 03/05/2018 01:02

I know it is difficult to comprehend, but its just a fact of life. It happens all the time.

2furbabies · 03/05/2018 01:09

Oh op I'm so sorry this is happening! You have to get his phone and check! Try to stay calm because I know the gut wrenching burning feeling you get when your in this situation x

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