Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

315 replies

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 12:52

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
42
OohMavis · 02/05/2018 13:44

Don't hold back Mirri...

MirriVan · 02/05/2018 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InteriorDespairer · 02/05/2018 13:49

if you bought that bathroom caddy thinking it would look good with all your products on it

Nope, it was just a place for them to be

and also think that the teapots look good on top of the cabinets in the kitchen

Ditto.

OP posts:
MirriVan · 02/05/2018 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 02/05/2018 13:57

It's really not that bad. You have a lot of light. We have zero light because we're on the second floor, surrounded by other buildings (in Asia where everything is super close together) and trust me, that is REALLY impossible to improve in any way, because it just looks like you're living in a box.

Agree with the others about decluttering absolutely ruthlessly. What stood out for me was the DVDs, it looks so cluttered and do you really watch them even? We don't even have a DVD player. You can stream/download everything these days so easily.

If you can't afford to replace everything, replace it bit by bit. Like say you'll spend 50 or 100 pounds or whatever you can afford each month on replacing one thing, or save up over a few months to buy one big thing.

All the black furniture would have to go for a start for me, it's so ugly. But if you can't afford to replace it, you can cover some of it eg cover the table with a nice table cloth.

Bluelady · 02/05/2018 14:03

It's all very well all of you saying declutter. Where's all the "clutter" going to go? The problem isn't that you've got too much stuff, you haven't got enough flat! If you're moving to somewhere more spacious, live with the clutter and make what you've got look better.

Kismett · 02/05/2018 14:08

I think people saying to declutter are talking about getting rid of belongings. Which is tough, but it's a choice that people make. If they are planning on moving soon, then they might have more space. Or be okay living with what they have now, where they are. Everyone is okay with different levels.

I had to get rid of probably 80% of my belongings due to various moves. Was really tough, but necessary.

SoyDora · 02/05/2018 14:08

It's all very well all of you saying declutter. Where's all the "clutter" going to go?

That’s the point of decluttering really, it goes anywhere except in the flat! Charity shop, skip... decluttering isn’t finding homes for things, it’s gettinf rid of things you don’t need.

Pebble21uk · 02/05/2018 14:12

I'm really shocked by the number of people telling the OP to declutter! Are you all Kondo devotees!? I'd love to see what some of your places look like - I have visions of that old French & Saunders sketch where the whole place is a white box, a visitor brings a bottle of wine and the host has no idea where to put it!

I used to live in a studio flat in London (back in the 90s when single working people could actually afford a tiny home there!!) It's not so easy when all your storage space is taken up with things like ironing board and hoover. I used to have to keep a step ladder (used for painting when I moved in) under my bed. So OP you have my sympathy.

Yes, closed storage and cupboards look neater and can hide a multitude of sins - but I would go for putting your own stamp on it (DH allowing Hmm) and think you could actually do with more stuff in some areas - cushions, throws, pictures (not of the atlas variety!) rugs - things to make the place a home, not a white box!

I would get rid of the fridge magnets though Grin

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 02/05/2018 14:15

Declutter means chucking everything out.

We do it once a month and we are ruthless. We have to be, because our flat is tiny. I chuck out anything that isn't nailed down that we haven't used in the past 6 months or so (asides from tools or something.) Any clothes that we are just meh about also get thrown out. Unless I love it, it goes to charity. Presents too - yes, it is nice of people to give presents, but I will not have shit lying around that I don't really like. Everyone who knows me knows that I hate clutter, so I don't know why they continue to buy me stuff I won't use.

All of our winter clothes go into storage in spring. All of our summer clothes go into storage in autumn. Everything else is in its proper place.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 02/05/2018 14:16

pebble It's not about having nothing in your house. It's about having nothing useless in your house.

I have some beautiful things in my house but I don't want it all cluttered up with useless stuff. It just doesn't work for me.

I have tons of plants and one or two ornaments but nothing else. I can't stand nick nacks.

SoyDora · 02/05/2018 14:18

My house is from a white box, but we don’t have any clutter lying around. I only keep things that I either really love, or are useful to me in some way. And everything has its place.

aintnothinbutagstring · 02/05/2018 14:22

Its not THAT bad tbh, its not a particularly feminine space to be fair and I don't 'get' the choice in your dh's wall art. But if you're planning on selling soon, I wouldn't waste too much time or money on it. Save your vouchers and any current budget for your next abode. Maybe create some mood boards of how you'd like it to look. Anthropologie have some lovely home accessories.

BarbaraofSevillle · 02/05/2018 14:23

But decluttering is part of the answer when living in a small flat.

No-one needs DVDs and CDs these days. Decorative items like teapot collections and fridge magnets aren't decorative if they make the place look untidy.

RoseWhiteTips · 02/05/2018 14:23

And @rosewhitetips. Yes you can have both vintage and modern in one cohesive style. But you really need an eye for design to pull it off.

Yes, I think I can safely say I have a good eye. I pull it off all the time.

ShirleyPhallus · 02/05/2018 14:24

Fridge magnets, curly photos, hand painted pics from a child etc - that all gives me the heebie jeebies

So does excessive kitchen counter clutter - why do people have so many gadgets? It uses up so much counter space!

RoseWhiteTips · 02/05/2018 14:27

I also nod to the idea of only possessing objects etc which are useful or bring you joy - ideally at the same time. I have pretty much got a place for everything too.
Decor is part of all of that.

It is even possible if your live in a three storey house.

RoseWhiteTips · 02/05/2018 14:29

But fridge magnets, bits and bobs stuck into boards or whatever - I hate that sort of thing. Anyway, our fridge is housed in a large cupboard.

HughLauriesStubble · 02/05/2018 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoseWhiteTips · 02/05/2018 14:41

I like the kitchen surfaces to have an arty feel so I have a white decorative plaster plaque leaning against a tongue and groove wall area and an old oil painting of a beach propped just along from it.

Houses should reflect your style and not be devoid of it. I hate dull kitchen surfaces which house only a matchy matchy kettle and toaster. To me that is truly dead.

Kismett · 02/05/2018 14:43

Aww so much hate for the fridge magnets. I love them! Moving around so much, they were something small I could take with and instantly have the place feel like home. I liked having the cards and children's drawings sent to me and photos up for a bit to enjoy. And other people would come over and enjoy them too, and they'd all get rotated out.

I like keeping a nice, fairly clutter free place. But small things like that make it feel like a home to me.

MinaPaws · 02/05/2018 14:58

I don't like big clutter but have no problem with firdge magnets, kids' painting etc. They may not look chic but they are part of our home. the magnets are reminders of holidays or days out, the paintings kept for a reason. Homes that are purely styled and not scuffed a bit round the edges with evidence of daily life leave me cold. They look too sterile.

Mammyofasuperbaby · 02/05/2018 15:02

I second decluttering my 2 bed house is smaller than your flat and we have to keep clutter to a minimum or it takes over. Not easy with a toddler but possible and use every inch of space.

InteriorDespairer · 02/05/2018 15:06

Why is your op peppered with affiliate links? Hmm

Why the Hmm? I've linked to 3 things so people know exactly what I'm talking about. I'd have thought that was obvious.

The things on the fridge aren't actually magnets (not that it really matters) - we were at one point being inundated with wedding invitations, new baby announcements etc, so i stuck a bunch of wooden clothes pegs to the door with blue tac and put them all up there. I can probably take them all down now to be fair, some of those babies are now in primary school!

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 02/05/2018 15:14

Think the pp must reckon you own Ikea for one thing, OP. Weird.