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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daddy and daughter date nights?

189 replies

ILikeMyChickenFried · 01/05/2018 12:22

How long has this been a thing? An advert for a local Daddy daughter date night has just popped up on my Facebook. Seems a bit bizarre.

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 01/05/2018 13:14

The idea of a daddy/daughter date is seriously creepy. Do mummy/son dates exist? Yuck, yuck, yuck.

haverhill · 01/05/2018 13:16

It's weird.

Trump would like it though; he said he'd like to date his daughter, didn't he?

XJerseyGirlX · 01/05/2018 13:18

I make "a date" with friends, with cousin etc.. Any sexual undertone picked up in an innocent saying like that is in the mind of the criticizer surely?

Roussette · 01/05/2018 13:18

Revolting and pathetic and far too American for us over here hopefully !

Have a look at this, it went viral on Twitter and made me see red.

If Mum and Dad hasn't put the building blocks in place for a DD to know what is good about a relationship and what isn't good... it's far too late.

hellogiggles.com/news/jay-feely-prom-date-gun-photo/

ThymeLord · 01/05/2018 13:20

OVienna those photos! I want to bleach my eyeballs, just gross. How anyone can think this is innocent is beyond me. It's disgusting.

StrangeAndUnusual · 01/05/2018 13:21

I went to the dentist this morning. Definitely didn't have a date with him!

Mind you, I can't even stand the use of 'date night' as a term for a married couple going out somewhere together. Just seems terribly contrived.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 01/05/2018 13:21

I make "a date" with friends, with cousin etc.. Any sexual undertone picked up in an innocent saying like that is in the mind of the criticizer surely?

So if you take your son to the park, you would say you were going on a date with him?

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 01/05/2018 13:23

Oh and very sad to see HomebrewDave popping up on yet another thread talking about the sexualisation of young women.

You sound like a healthy, well rounded individual, very respectful of women. Not!!!!

MorningsEleven · 01/05/2018 13:24

Sounds creepy to me. Dad and daughter can go out together without pretending it's a 'date'

Absolutely. Sexualising parent/child relationships is fucking freaky.

Ticketsfrom · 01/05/2018 13:24

I've only seen it in the States, and run by Conservative or Christian organisations for the most part. The idea is you take your daughter on a 'date' and show her how she should expect to be treated when she starts dating boys. It's super icky INHO, and all based around encouraging 'traditional values' and roles for girls ( and boys).
This is the kind of blurb you get:

'Here’s the point. The primary purpose of dating your daughter is making memories and cementing your lifetime connection. But there’s another huge benefit to showing up on time, opening her car door, treating her with respect, and handling any mishaps with grace and a smile…

You’re modeling for your daughter the way any boy should act when she goes out on any date at any time.

If and when some “unworthy weasel” takes her out, she won’t put up with any nonsense because her dad—that’s you—taught her how a gentleman acts on a date.'

Any self respecting dad should look at this absolute 'let's dress up and let daddy take his little princess out for dinner' crap and go an spend time with his kid at a baseball game or swimming, or down the library to pick more books, or doing whatever the girl is actually into rather than starting to get into a lather that one day some boy will 'steal' his daughter away,

RBBMummy · 01/05/2018 13:25

Date just means doing a pre arranged even together one on one. Don't sexulise something lovely

TheAntiBoop · 01/05/2018 13:25

Well the term play date is used quite widely and that isn't romantic.

Being called 'father daughter evening out' would not make the concept less creepy

Shufflebumnessie · 01/05/2018 13:28

Quality time with daddy - great! Daddy daughter date night - just sounds so wrong!
It's lovely for father and daughter to have special bonding time together but the phrase is awful!!

TheFrendo · 01/05/2018 13:28

Gag reflex stimulated. Boak.

XJerseyGirlX · 01/05/2018 13:29

Anyone that would sexualise a saying like that needs to look at what the word "date " means in the thesaurus. Some people have different interpretations of words fair enough, but slating a parent for using an innocently meant phrase is a bit sick and says more about the person thinking it.

MorningsEleven · 01/05/2018 13:31

OVienna

Oh my life! That's one whole world of fucked upness.

kateandme · 01/05/2018 13:31

I think its comes from americs and the land of chick words and more softer soppy tones to words we use.so date night to them is with the giirrrrlfriends the mom even the pet.and is so innocent.so its like on a hallmark move having a date night with pops.its all innocent.
but having it be brough over and to words and meaning we have for things just doesn't work.
equally though.we should be sensible then and see past it to a parent not having sinister notions towards their children most of the time.

Idontdowindows · 01/05/2018 13:34

Everyone going "you're creepy for sexualising it" needs to go look at the photos on that link.

Like hell it's "not sexualised". It's sexualised as fuck and it's vile.

ShackUp · 01/05/2018 13:38

cat 'excited for' has had me RAGING on here before Grin but you're the first person to share my rage.

'Excited for Friday!'...'Why? What's happening to Friday??'

TheAntiBoop · 01/05/2018 13:39

The debate over the meaning of the word 'date' is derailing

It is not the language used but the purpose of the event that is creepy

(And the concept of an innocent daddy daughter date is also unsettling because the underlying assumption is that daddy is not a hands on parent who is naturally spending quality time with his child)

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 01/05/2018 13:41

DannyLaRuesBestFrock

The thread was doing so well not feeding the troll!

Jersey Girl, maybe try reading the thread?

ThymeLord · 01/05/2018 13:42

Have you not read any of the links posted in this thread JerseyGirl. It is quite clear that this isn't innocent in the slightest. It's creepy behaviour, sexualising a normal relationship between a father and daughter in the guise of 'teaching' her what to expect from boyfriends in the future. It links very closely to the idea that a father owns his daughters' virginity. It has been asked many times but why do fathers need to take their daughters on dates (which are what people who want to get romantically and sexually involved go on), why does it need to be about "modelling for your daughter the way any boy should act when she goes out on any date at any time"??

ThymeLord · 01/05/2018 13:43

I also agree that turning this into a debate over the word date is complete derailing. It is absolutely clear what this daddy/daughter shit is about, and innocent it 'aint.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 01/05/2018 13:44

Being called 'father daughter evening out' would not make the concept less creepy

Erm how about just saying it's fella taking his kid out somewhere??

A man would not say they were having a daddy and son date.

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