Daddy and daughter date nights?

[ILikeMyChickenFried]

How long has this been a thing? An advert for a local Daddy daughter date night has just popped up on my Facebook. Seems a bit bizarre.

Gin, that's exactly the kind of event this daddy daughter Date night is advertising.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam Totally agree with you, it very much smacks of the father/daughter purity thing to me. That the daughter belongs to her father, ready to be handed over (having been primed on 'dates') to her new owner.

It's nice for any parent, mother or father, to have one-on-one time with their child/children. Why does it need dressing up as a date for daughters? It doesn't.

It's the date angle .

Me and dc will have a movie night for example watch a couple of films and have junk food Or we have a fun day out or lazy pj day . Things that are over and above the normal time we spend together . There definetley not dates .

It wreaks of those horrific looking father daughter dances in the US. Usually frequented by the sort of men who make their daughters wear promise rings and say no man's ever going to be good enough for daddy's princess. Vom.

Shame nobody drilled any etiquette into you isn't it Dave.

Perhaps it's an age thing. Before the whole hearted embracing of all things American nobody used the sicky term "date" to describe going somewhere with someone. A date was 4th January or 22nd October or 12.12.1988 (my pet hate is "I'm excited for [insert occasion or inanimate object]" instead replacing "I'm excited about [thing I'm excited about, usually Christmas or a birthday]" with "excited for" retaining a distinct meaning used to express sympathetic excitement felt on behalf of another human "I'm excited for DC, she's about to go on her first school trip").

Now going "on a date" has an implication of romantic love it's a nauseating term to use about a parent taking a child to a restaurant. Language does matter.

I'm on the fence about the word date, but meant literally as an organised day of the week then no problem
We have organised time like this as our dd is a boarder, time is usually organised the week before, or even months in advance for school holidays.
We look at what work we accept over this time and our world revolves around us all spending time with dd.
We also have sibling date days/nights, mum and daughter days/nights.
I think it's great to organise time together, some families hardly see each other and CBA to organise anything, just allowing their dc to sit in rooms on social media.

The last thing you want is your daughter ending up in a state school knocked up at 18

Oh hello again Dave. Treating us to a little more of your world view?

"Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. "

"Dating may also involve two or more people who have already decided that they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other. These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement."

Exactly ThymeLord.

Spending time with your children, wonderful.

Trying to instill sexist, regressive, patriarchal bullshit into your daughter under the guise of a nice meal out? Dangerous.

"The idea that a father must show his daughter how a man ought to treat her, so when she stops guarding her 'purity' and marries, she chooses a husband who will slot into those fixed gender roles with her (paying for everything, getting her coat, pulling a chair out for her and so forth)."

I had no idea this was a thing. No. Idea.

What the hell are you on about Dave?

Date nights sound horrific. Dads spending time with their DD's on the other hand is lovely. My DH travels a lot with business and when he is in the cities our DD's live in he takes them out for dinner and spends time catching up with them. Nothing wrong with that but he isn't taking them on a date!

Er yeah calling it a date is well creepy. Dp always takes our dds out on a saturday afternoon for daddy time but if he started calling it a date I would put a stop to it. And probably leave him. Weird.

Eww. That is weird.
If it's about dads showing their daughters what men should be like etc... then that just makes it even worse. It just shows that girls can't be trusted to think for themselves and it paints all future boyfriends as being useless.

Also, it makes it out like the most special and sacred relationship is a daddy daughter one. Not a daddy son/ mother daughter/ mother son one. They are ALL special!

pigmcpigface Just wait until you read up on purity daddy daughter dances 😩

Sickening.

Isn't the issue the understanding of the word "date"? In my circle we have lunch dates with friends, dinner dates with friends, "it's a date" meaning it's scheduled and it's something that is important and we're gonna keep? (As opposed to casually meeting up maybe next week sometime sort of thing.)

ps I like to think that he shows them how to expect to be treated by behaving like a respecting considerate partner day to day. No need to go on a "date" (yew) to teach that.

It’s just the word “date” that is a bit weird imo, not the actual concept. My DS and DH (his stepdad) will have a “boys’ night“ when I go out - which involves movies snd junk food. My DS would be horrified if I referred to it as a date

It really is sickening. Not to mention the fact that there is the insinuation that the daughter is/will grow up to be hetro!

How sad that these girls need to go on a date night with their dad to find out how hey should be treated by men.

Clearly their father doesn't model being a decent husband and father sufficiently that the daughter already knows.

So the advert is some sort of organised group thing? I find that it really distasteful.Each to their own.

I'm all for time out with dad though. Mine used to visit me when I was at uni, (strangely it co-incided with his football teams matches at home which was the same town :) ) and we'd go for a 'date'.

We didn't call it a date. But we'd go for a meal at whatever place was doing a deal, and chat for an hour or so, and then he'd drop me off at home.
He died 8 years ago. I miss those 'dates' :(

I know a Canadian woman who had this at her school growing up - a daddy and daughter prom night thing where you were meant to dance with your dad. She said it was the cringiest thing ever as her dad was very shy and awkward.

I also feel really sorry for girls who don't have a dad or whose dad is abusive or whatever. I hate this kind of thing, not only because of the grim associations, but because it's yet another of those things that sorts people into "normal and acceptable", versus those who can't join in.

I don't think the discussion around the meaning of the word 'date' is the most problematic thing here, though it's a good point that not everyone sees dating as an inherently romantic thing (most people do though).

It's the actual phenomena of daddy daughter dating and where it comes from and what it's saying about gender dynamics. It's just too inextricably linked with sexist fundamental Christian beliefs where a girl is the property of her father to be guarded like she isn't an individual, until she is handed over to become the property of her husband (who must be someone who also slots in with this extremely defined and patriarchal gender roles).

If a man wants his daughter to grow up with good expectations of relationships then he treats her mother with respect and parents equally and does his equal share in the home. He models it to her in his relationship with her mum, he doesn't take her on pretend dates and pull her chair out and bring her flowers.