AIBU to wash my friend's DD's coat?

[anniemagoo]

My friend's DD comes for tea every week after school. She's been wearing the same white coat all winter. And every week the coat is looking filthier and filthier. I have no idea why my friend lets her walk around like it.

Every week that coat hangs on my bannister while she's here and I keep looking at it thinking I could just pop it in my washing machine. But I resist because it's not my place.

Well she forgot to take it home today. I texted my friend and she said don't worry she'll pick it up sometime when passing.

So now I'm looking at it thinking should I just pop it in my machine? Or is that out of order.

Sorry if I sound judgy. I'm not normally.

Aw I luff the OP and her coat washing, and her ambitious drying which has paid off. Anything I put in the tumble dryer ceases to exist.

I wouldn't say anything to you if you did this to me but I sure as shit would phase you out for being so rude.

I would be really grateful! We do so much washing and coats always end up neglected

Of you want to embarrass her mum...wash it. Because that is what it will do. Put yourself in her shoes if you can...even though you may not know her circumstances...if giving her child a cleaner coat ( in your opinion) matters still...then clean it.

@KenDoddsDadsDogIsDead you're a little late to the party. It's clean.

I'm quite blunt, I'd just tell her she was a mucky bitch and wash the coat, if she fell out with me I wouldn't be bothered. But that's how I am, as I've got older the more I don't give a fuck. There are worse things in life than washing a coat.

To the poster who thought you can't wash waterproof coats - try nikwax. There is one for washing waterproof coats and another to put more waterproofing on. Both are very good, although not foolproof. And still check instructions of course.

Blimey, I agree with Penggwm, in that it's only the coat the OP has mentioned. If the child was dirty in other ways, or smelly or whatever, then it would be a bigger problem, but the outdoor coat being filthy, that wouldn't be a big deal to me (I'd want to wash my own kids' coats if they looked filthy, but wouldn't think my friend was being neglectful for not washing one item of her child's clothing)

Wash it. Just say it was really messed up as someone stood on it with messy shoes when it fell off the banister.

There are people who give a shit about washed coats. And there are people who are not so bothered.

In our house, no one is bothered. I am not bothered - occasionally I will look at a DC's coat and think, blimey, HOW did you get it so dirty? and I will wash it on a quick cycle and hope it dries. But we have no tumble dryer, so it's a case of timing it right and sometimes I've thought - yuck, coat needs a wash but if I do it then XYZ so better to wait today and I'll do it later and then I forget.

Honestly though, I also think to myself - my DC will drag their school coats through the mud, roll on the ground, chuck them on the floor of the car ... all of these things I could tell them not to do, and insist on modifying their behaviour, but actually I just don't care that much. Children get filthy. Their coats get filthy. It's an outer garment designed to protect the layers beneath, which are always clean. Meh!

If my DC came round a friend's every week, then I'd assume it was a close enough thing that them washing an item of clothing wasn't a big deal. You can only feel judged if you allow yourself to care. . .

I'm quite blunt, I'd just tell her she was a mucky bitch and wash the coat, if she fell out with me I wouldn't be bothered. But that's how I am

And daft enough to be proud about that?

This is still going! Brilliant!!
😁🍿

I can't remember the last time I washed a coat belonging to anyone in this family.

Actually I may have washed DS's waterproof jacket after scout camp one time - that was probably over a year ago.

Isn't this just a variant of the threads were folks insist it's necessary to wash bras daily/bedding weekly/ towels after every use/ jumpers even if worn for 10 minutes etc?

Some people just have way higher standards than others. I personally don't see an issue in not washing a small child's coat for 4 months - guessing it's only noticeable because the coat is white, and if it had been a dark colour, OP probably wouldn't have even realised.

To me not washing a coat comes into the same category of not cleaning shoes all that regularly ... not neglect, just not caring.

I'm shocked at the number of people that wash anything "that's not nailed down" in their house and are always searching the house for stuff to make up a load.

This is so alien to me. I'm always battling to keep on top of the washing mountain in our laundry basket, despite running the machine every day.
I definitely wouldn't be excited that I had an extra coat to wash!

I wash my winter coat after I stop wearing it in the Spring. It's filthy because I have grandkids sticky finger prints on it plus the stuff I manage to spill on it or wipe on it.
My daughter in law washes the kids coats every week but she would strip you off and wash your clothes every time you set foot in her house if she could.

I'm quite blunt, I'd just tell her she was a mucky bitch and wash the coat, if she fell out with me I wouldn't be bothered. But that's how I am

Oh the "spade a spade" wankers. So proud of being utter bellends with no friends. Weird.

I'm quite blunt, I'd just tell her she was a mucky bitch and wash the coat, if she fell out with me I wouldn't be bothered. But that's how I am

You sound like a bundle of joy.

I always wash clothes that get left here 🤷🏻‍♀️

If someone left a dirty coat here, that would go in the wash too. My washing machine is constantly on so it makes no difference to me.

If someone washed ds’ coat I’d kiss them. There’s some dirt on the sleeve that has been pissing me off, but he point blank refuses to wear any other coat to the point that I’m genuinely worried about what will happen when he outgrows it. It’s not tumble dryerable so will be out of action for, at the very least, 24 hours.

That little bit of dirt that doesn’t affect the use of the coat, just isn’t worth the aggro

Can't you just sponge the sleeve with some soapy water lotsa? That's what I'd do.
Your electric bill would make me weep

I’m not entirely sure why that’s never occurred to me 😂.

But with 3 dc under 5, and 2 of them in nursery, I have a LOT of washing

re: the filling clumping in down coats: thought I'd ruined my DD's white uniqlo coat. I washed, extra rinsed, and tumble dried it and it stayed clumped for ages like a rag in the dryer! I carried on drying it and suddenly I looked in and it had gone all nice and puffy again. I didn't have tennis balls (which I thought might smell rubbery) so I put in a heavy weight cotton bath mat which bashed the coat into puffiness.

Well done OP and I hope your friend's happy with it. Or she might not notice. I always wash clothes left here by friends especially uniform as when it's returned they might need it the very next day. I only have 2 pairs of trousers and 2 jumpers per child for school so I just wash it a lot.

zzzzz Nobody did anything to anyone's children. They washed a coat.

I would be furious if someone did this to one of my children

Did you miss out a bit? I would be furious if someone did this to one of my children's coats.

The child knows nothing - the child just left their coat behind! I really don't think it would be worth being furious.