AIBU to wash my friend's DD's coat?

[anniemagoo]

My friend's DD comes for tea every week after school. She's been wearing the same white coat all winter. And every week the coat is looking filthier and filthier. I have no idea why my friend lets her walk around like it.

Every week that coat hangs on my bannister while she's here and I keep looking at it thinking I could just pop it in my washing machine. But I resist because it's not my place.

Well she forgot to take it home today. I texted my friend and she said don't worry she'll pick it up sometime when passing.

So now I'm looking at it thinking should I just pop it in my machine? Or is that out of order.

Sorry if I sound judgy. I'm not normally.

don't make up an excuse

just say "i was washing some coats/fleeces and it got scooped up with the others - hope you don't mind"

You realise what you've just done there right?
Idiots everywhere...

I can't get over someone buying a child a WHITE COAT 😨.it's asking for trouble

Trouble?

My coat is filthy and DS has a coat that attracts the dirt. Unfortunately the coat rack is so far away from the washing machine that by the time we've all piled in the door and hung up our coats (otherwise we can't fit in the cupboard like hallway) I've forgotten about the dirty coats. I'd be really happy if a friend washed them!

NotTakenUsername

I don't know; I'm obviously such a neglectful parent I doubt I'd notice if I left her there, let alone her coat.

Oh bless, I'm guessing you would just like the kid to have a clean coat. However as someone pointed out, child plus white coat equals dragged through hedge backwards look within five minutes.

Or you are one of those (wonderful) people who obsessively wants to clean everything belonging to everyone else everywhere. If so, come round to mine please.

It's not unreasonable town to wash the coat, but imagine how mortified you would be if someone else washed your kid's clothes. Resist woman, resist!

I hope it’s not a waterproof or down one then you will need the special nikwax stuff

Lulu it's washed!

My favourite coat is cream, I'd love OP. I'd leave mine lovingly draped across her hallway and come back expectantly in a few days time looking hopeful and would adore her for washing it

Wash it and just say that someone else spilt a drink they were taking upstairs on it. It's Not hard to believe that could happen in a house of kids etc

It only looks grubby because it's white. If it was black you wouldn't have even noticed.

Gottage makes an excellent point. I bet half the kids at school have coats that haven’t been washed all winter but are in dark colours so it’s less noticeable.

A grubby coat on an otherwise well presented primary school child isn’t going to raise any eyebrows.

Other than the OP’s of course.

I don't think you need to lie, it's quite normal to wash things before you return them.

I've been so overwhelmed with the washing before that I've sent the children out with less than perfect clothes, especially coats and things that aren't part of the normal washing routine. I'd have been quite happy for someone to wash things that I hadn't got round to! It might even lead to her spontaneously explaining why she's not washed it. Maybe she's not coping well and would benefit from getting it off her chest.

How is the drying going op?

I put it in the tumble dryer on low. It came out a treat. It looks really nice now. It's now hanging up on the coat rack ready to go home.

And for those saying there's a reason it's not been washed. I know the reason. My friend just hasn't got round to it. That's how she is.

Normally I wouldn't interfere but this coat has bugged me every week since January!

I agree with Pengggwyn.

I'd be insulted and upset if you washed my kids coat. It's not your business to do that.

Wash it, and then make an excuse, if she isn't washing it then maybe she hasn't noticed and won't care either way. If she has so much going on, but hasn't the time she will be glad someone else did it. If you are noticing the coat, others will too, so I would wash for the childs' sake definitely.

If your friendship can’t withstand a friend washing your kids coat without asking first, it’s not much of a friendship at all is it.

How is this different in principle to feeding a friend’s child a snack after school if, for example, you’re expecting them home for tea? Would you feel judged that you allow your kids to go hungry if a friend made them a sandwich?

Crikey there’s a lot of mad people here. If your friend hasn’t washed the coat she’s clearly not too fussed she’ll probably be happy you’ve saved her a job.

She's not in a rush to pick it up. She's disorganised.

Maybe this is the result she's been hoping for

Ugh. I remember picking my son up from a friend's house where he'd gone to tea before they went to Beavers, and the friend's mum had helpfully done all sorts of stuff like washed and ironed his Beaver jumper, combed his hair flat etc. The implication obviously being that he was a scruff and I was an inadequate. Leave it alone.

LanguidLobster It's washed? Get in:)

You, me, an invite to OP's house needed, stat! My laundry basket is ready, I'll eat messy chocolate cake wearing my favourite white coat with abandon on my way there! Feel free to chuck champagne at me to celebrate OP:)

Wash it but check the label first.

TBH I am never far from a box of Napisan!

Normally I wouldn't interfere but this coat has bugged me every week since January

No it hasn't. Don't blame the coat. It's you.

Your friend is laid back and disorganised?

She won't notice you've washed the coat.

I can't believe how enjoyable a thread about a child's coat has been

I'd have washed it too, no excuses, everything gets washed if it hangs around at my house. I'd kiss you for saving me the job if you washed my DDs coat too, shows you give a damn

Steppemum, just curious - what is your objection to the dryer?

You sound like a good friend. I’d appreciate you doing it if it was me!