I've identified someone on here

[ihatethedentist]

I've identified someone on here, I 100% know that it's her, there is no doubt. Do I tell her? She's my DH's ex-wife and she has a lot to say about him and me! She unfortunately has given away a little too much of herself. It's really quite amusing to read, but do I tell her I know, would IBU not to? She's not been pleasant about me and it's good to know how she really feels, so i'm tempted to stay undercover.

Posters are right. Its not an invasion. At least not technically. But it still somehow feels like it. Because the values in terms of how we live are about something more than the technicalities surely. Bizarre that anyone would think you have to have to be projecting to think this!

I wouldn't read someone's emails, journal, post etc just because they'd been careless in providing opportunity. Similarly if someone I know posts sensitive detail on here I know full well they believe it is anonymous (not unreasonably imo as it usually is) and don't expect me to identify them and be able to actively seek out all their posts. Regardless of it being the internet.

Knowledge is power/staying one step ahead isn't something I can relate to as a healthy way to live.

Invasion of privacy? Wtf.

That would be reading someone’s diary; listening in to a private telephone conversation; eavesdropping on a conversation behind a closed door.

It is NOT identifying someone who is writing about you on a very public highly popular parenting talk forum and choosing not to disclose to that person that you have identified them

Of course it's never fully anonymous, the mumsnet team all know who we are

No they don't.

Well, it’s certainly not me. And it’s easy to work out who I am.

Do whatever you’d feel most comfortable with if you were her, OP.

OP, I'm saying you don't come across well, because you're clearly stalking the ex-wife online, or at least a poster you've convinced yourself is her. You sound obsessed with her. I'm finding this far-fetched, because you yourself have said that you've only met her once, and she's well over her ex, having had several boyfriends since breaking up from him. So I find it hard to believe that she could be that fixated on you.

You need to let this go, seriously.

Oh, and I'm not projecting, because I'm not an ex-wife.

I'm not entirely sure she's over him yet as she refers to him, in some way, in most of her posts. Her name is not unusual but what would be unusual would be for someone to have such a set of matching circumstances. Perhaps I am a bit obsessed, but I'd challenge anyone in this situation not to want to read it.

Weird to care so much. Move on.

I'm an ex wife but I doubt my exH latest partner would be on here. I'd love to know what rubbish he is telling her though as apparently the first girlfriend he had after we split was scared of me.

Oh sorry @vileyrose did I not respond to your first goady comment so you thought you'd try again. *slaps herself for responding!

I'm an ex wife too, I'm happy for my ex and we've both moved on. Not all ex wives do this, not all new wives care this much. It takes all sorts.

So OP have you noticed any new posts from her username? Or do you think she may have name changed?

I’m in the camp of: should you read, no; would you read, hell yes

If you've only met her once OP, how come you know so much about her? I can understand why you'd know her name and maybe job and where she lives, but knowing her hobbies, hometown and how she met her boyfriend? Sounds like either your husband talks about her a lot or you've asked a lot of questions about her. Seems odd to me to know so much about a husband or partners ex.

Na. Most people change details for online security. So she's probably meddled with dates, circumstances a bit and it coincidentally sounds like who you think it is.

I live with her children 50% of the time. I know where she lives as we pick them up. It's not rocket science is it?

Blanche RTFT

I know everything on the internet is fair game but you do sound quite gleeful about finding her OP. You asked a question, got mixed responses, but still this thread has run to 9 pages because you are adamant that it's her and want to shout down the doubters. You are clearly delighted with yourself, which is more than a little odd.

OP - you sound a bit obsessed TBH

If you've gotten all that info about her via the kids, it's not "rocket science" to work out where she's gotten her info/formed her opinion of you from, is it? Maybe your relationship with them is why she has "much to say" about you?

Indeed!

OP, the children have ratted on you. Maybe take a good look at yourself and do some thinking?

'To A Louse, On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church'
by Robert Burns
'O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!'

(Standard English)
'Oh, would some Power give us the gift
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!'

You sound deranged OP. Seriously. Let it go and get on with your life. Apologies if i'm wrong but this tells me you were the other woman. Am I correct?

@mathanxiety you've hurtled me back to school and the annual Burns Day competition!

Jfc grow up!!

No I was not the other woman, not at all. Far from flouncing but this thread is taking a nasty turn, probably from a bunch of ex wives! Time for me to log off and get back to RL. Thanks for the responses, some have been great and it's been fun.

I'm not an ex-wife but I know an attention seeker when I see one. I think the thread was nasty from the start quite frankly.