I've identified someone on here

[ihatethedentist]

I've identified someone on here, I 100% know that it's her, there is no doubt. Do I tell her? She's my DH's ex-wife and she has a lot to say about him and me! She unfortunately has given away a little too much of herself. It's really quite amusing to read, but do I tell her I know, would IBU not to? She's not been pleasant about me and it's good to know how she really feels, so i'm tempted to stay undercover.

You might break the law if you disclose her real identity on here -probably data protection law so best to be a bit careful and I am pretty sure the MN posting rules prohibit disclosing it. Whether you privately email her about it is another matter

I'm certainly not an ex-wife, either, I've been married once and my DH is still with me. But you really do sound over invested in being right about the ex-wife being on here. I really find it hard to believe that she would be that bothered.

MN can be the lovely safe anonymous place but you just need to be careful about what you post. Don’t lie about yourself but use AIBU for quick sound checks. Obviously there’s the controversial topics that are a bit risky for potential outings: people tend to get over emotional and start bringing all sorts of personal information into the discussions. It amazes me how much people put out there. If you treat this as you would any other social media, expect the same kind of privacy.

I like the anonymity of MN. There are some things I’d like to post or contribute to but when I think about it and how much it could identify me, I choose not to post or contribute. But that’s the trade off for being able to come on here and contribute and post my experiences and honest opinions. It’s a good vibe.

ihatethedentist-I've identified someone on here

Congratulations

Bugger, forgot to say, I would have PMd her similar to what a pp suggestion above. You know it’s the right thing to do. I’d try and use it as an opportunity to clear the air between you both too.

Agree with Symphony

*RTFT
*
I did....

Not all ex wives are bothered about their ex husbands. I'm certainly not.

Nor me Grand.

Being a second, third, fourth wife is obviously not for the insecure.

I think that it would be better for both of you if let her know.

I would hate to identify anyone on here because I know I would advance search and then not be able to take it back.

Oh I would LOVE this

Some loon pm'ed be on here a couple of years ago to tell me she had identified me and how she was going to tell our mutual aquaintances what I had said about her and how no-one would ever speak to me again.
Which would be rude enough if it weren't for the fact that I hadn't the first clue who she was or what she was talking about. She wouldn't have it though, utterly convinced she knew me. I feel sorry for whoever she thought I was anyway!

SymphonyofShadows

Surely anyone posting onAIBU is attention seeking,

Anyone posting anything at all is 'attention seeking', if you're going to look at it that way.

It’s not me as I wouldn’t give a shit if I slagged off my ex here and his new wife read it .

No I meant starting a thread in AIBU

The tide’s turning isn’t it ?

People have turned themselves inside out on social media and found there’s nothing of much consequence inside after all, that we’ve all been sharing and oversharing so much information about ourselves that we’ve lost friends, family, colleagues, over trivial things like not realising your best friend of 30 years was such a bigoted racist or your sister was such a vindictive online bully.

All those pathetic Facebook arguments yeh biatch no biatch prosecco o’clock my princess glitterhun eating a pizza lol I must correct someone on the internet as they’ve said something wrong. It was all wasted time.

I looked at a group of young sometnings faces glued to their phones and thought what are you all going to talk about when you’re in your late 40s sat round the table in a pub, you haven’t actually lived a life, you’ve no stories to talk about, ‘that time I uploaded a photo of me doing the pout and peace sign’ ‘remember that time I took a selfie outside Tesco’ ‘those days when I was 17 and living life to the full snapchatting incessantly and twitting online every few minutes about, well, about nothing’.

Anyway, all mystery is now lost, we know everything about everyone celebrity or neighbour. Mumsnet is now sourced for lazy journalism on a daily basis, we are scared to write posts anymore because we worry they’ll be lifted for trash press copy, and by navigating loopholes, your best friend or your ex partner can manipulate anything you’ve ever written online, and leave it there for your children to see in the future, however untrue it may be.

There’s possibly a few hundred thousand users on Mumsnet, the chances of you recognising someone is quite viable. What you do with that knowledge is down to your own morals. There’s a good chance we all realise by now whatever we post on here, our friends can come looking for anyway, or the Daily Mail will stick your username and quotes on their page anyway and then your friends or Mums at the school gates will find you easily enough.

I’ve been on Mumsnet for the last 8 years and it has changed, but it’s a business , the ‘useful platform for support and advice’ is just a tagline that brings in the users.

What an excellent summary and very true.

If you tell her then she will stop posting. I would be brewing myself a cuppa and having a good old laugh at her posts. An alternative to Eastenders. No one will ever know it is you so why stop the entertainment?

People have turned themselves inside out on social media and found there’s nothing of much consequence inside after all, that we’ve all been sharing and oversharing so much information about ourselves that we’ve lost friends, family, colleagues, over trivial things like not realising your best friend of 30 years was such a bigoted racist or your sister was such a vindictive online bully

speak for yourself. I and many people find it enriches our lives because we know how to use it appropriately.

snapper, I don't agree. I was scanning my 1980 photo album last night. It records the things I did that year and I am not sure 2018 is any different for my sons in the same year at university now. They probably take more photos than I did but they are still having real experiences (whatever real means). Also not all of us are on social media. I don't use facebook or twitter. I do post on here but that's my choice. It doesn't stop me doing other things.

For most people the internet and communication and staying in touch with friends is a huge source for good and positive influence in their lives.

This is true, Xenia, and Tawny, I think I’m just reflecting on what I see amongst the younger and upcoming generations. It’s just the over 40s who seem to be left on Facebook now. The youngsters are using Instagram and Twitter more, which is probably healthier. Stricter content moderation, less opportunity to write and more opportunity to post relevant pictures rather than just lolcat equivalents.

I have to keep a Facebook account open because it’s linked to my online business pages, but it’s no fun at all. I rarely post anything, and certainly not of opinion or preferences, that just feels so empty.

Anyway, OP’s point is asking what she should do now she’s identified someone on a public advice forum. I believe it’s down to morals. If you’re a gossip in real life, then out her. Personally, I would just hide her posts and grant the ‘anonymity’ we all deserve when seeking advice or support.