I've identified someone on here

[ihatethedentist]

I've identified someone on here, I 100% know that it's her, there is no doubt. Do I tell her? She's my DH's ex-wife and she has a lot to say about him and me! She unfortunately has given away a little too much of herself. It's really quite amusing to read, but do I tell her I know, would IBU not to? She's not been pleasant about me and it's good to know how she really feels, so i'm tempted to stay undercover.

Mumsnet has 12 million users a month. What are the odds eh?

I think probably if I were you, I wouldn't let on, OP, although it would probably be sensible to tell her.

I have identified two people on here! One of them only posted a few times (or maybe changed her name after that), the other is an occasional poster still and I see her posts crop up from time to time. I have never said anything to either of them. They are just acquaintances, not friends or family.

There is no doubt, i'll say it again, there is no doubt! Unless there's someone else out there who've been through the same divorce with in the same timescale, with the same hold-ups and hiccups, with children the same age with the same problems, husband with the same job, boyfriend at the same time, same maintenance, same issues, same job, same part of the country, etc, etc.

A double bluff would be interesting, but I name change regularly.

How can people search people's posts?

All these threads ever do (and there's been quite a few over the years), is make other Mumsnetters really paranoid.

Not me as no ex’s
Morally of course you wouldn’t want to snoop on what she feels is an anonymous opportunity to vent. HOWEVER we are all human and who wouldn’t be interested in what she’s saying?! Wether it’s helpful curiosity is doubtful.
To try avoid possible future upset how about this: watch for new posts and if she hasn’t changed her name give this thread a bit of time to die down (or get deleted) and ask Mumsnet to alert her anonymously? Then she won’t have to deal with the awkwardness of knowing you’ve read the posts?

@WorraLiberty - i'm sorry, i've only posted on this subject the one time. I don't want to make all mumsnetters paranoid. It is a genuine situation.

How can people search people's posts?

Click on Advanced Search up under the Search box. Then fill in the poster's name in the appropriate box.

This is why I don't post about my current situation they all ready believe I'm jealous because I've asked for child support it hasn't occurred to them it's because it's four fucking weeks late and he is behind anyway

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am forever name changing

Juells

Thank you

I’d message her.

“Hey, if this is Robert’s ex-wife, you've made yourself identifiable. Just thought you should know”

End of. Nothing good will come from the snooping, it’ll just piss you off etc.

No, don't let on ! I would join in the discussion and ask things like . . . "As the OW how do you really justify stealing another woman's husband and depriving his children of their father ? " but really it depends on how recent and raw you are, as you won't be doing yourself any favours by feeding your emotions into this situation. Better to block her on here, if that is possible, so you don't see her self-righteous posts !

She's not the OW, nor am I, she's the ex wife and I'm the "new" wife as she loves to refer to me as! Better than new gf which I got before for five years!

This happened to me too! My dhs ex posting stuff about my dh and my kids it was really odd she made up most of it, stuff that had never even happened
Its strange because I was always so friendly to her and the whole time she was talking absolute rubbish, I think some people always need a pity party though so if you dont do anything to them they make it up instead.
I confronted her in the end I think she felt really stupid.

I have posted about my exh, ow and some details possibly a bit identifying the thought she may be reading them and seeing what a cow cunt I think she is amuses me

Thankfully I've never discovered anyone I know in RL on here. I've talked about very sensitive issues so I really would hate that. Mumsnet is a place where you should be able to vent anonymously, so I honestly would come clean so she has the opportunity to NC. It will be better for both of you long-term.

Hopefully she doesn't think I'm a cunt Steve as I've never done anything to upset her.

you have read what she thinks of you though haven't you? if he left her she is not going to feel warm and fuzzy towards you

Think she may have namechange and be on your thread already!

It really could be someone else's story....all the criteria you mentioned are pretty mainstream - although you could join the dots to make it Your Special Thing.

Say it's true -does it make a difference? 1st Wife; 2nd Wife....
Same Old
Over and Over
Life

Just my unmarried LP for 16 years observation.

Steve he didn't leave her for me? They were separated and she'd had several boyfriends.

Wind her up! That’s the best revenge and fun!

You keep reassuring all the posters who ask you if you're talking about them that it isn't them.

So what are you going to do if the poster who it is asks you? Admit it?

If not, then you needed to say from the beginning that you wouldn't say yes or no to anyone who asked in case the person who'd get a yes asked.

‘besides I might blow my cover.*

Honestly OP this sounds more than a little like stalking. Stop for her sake and your own, so unhealthy and frankly weird to monitor someone like this.