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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset dd is set on studying nursing when she could do medicine?

254 replies

Majamandy · 27/04/2018 16:35

My dd is very academic - she got straight As/9s in her GCSEs last year (apart from 1 D in Art) and is half way through her A levels taking Maths, Biology, Chemistry and History. Her working grades are AAAA.

She's been doing a lot of medical work experience this year, as she's been set on doing something medical for a long time. She recently told us that she's decided she's going to apply for nursing.

AIBU to think that that's a waste of her academic potential? She'd earn so much more as a doctor.

OP posts:
SheSparkles · 27/04/2018 16:37

YABU...she possibly doesn’t like the idea of the life she would have as a doctor. Nursing is still an excellent career choice, it’s hardly like she’s said she fancies a life on benefits!

There’s way more to life than money

Chopchopbusybusy · 27/04/2018 16:38

Well I can see your point but have you asked her why she’d prefer nursing? Maybe she has a good point too.

DuckEgg86 · 27/04/2018 16:38

Both are a calling - of a different type. Most nurses I know have left - because it’s thankless and underpaid. Most doctors I know and we have 4 in my immediate family seem to cope well with the stress mainly because they are compensated well for it- they have a unique mentality. Partly institusionalised by the NHS. Some positive some negative.

I don’t think any of the doctors I know would want to do anything else but medicine but like I said all the nurses I know once again immediate family have given up. They were all Senior too and just didn’t feel they could carry on.

DuckEgg86 · 27/04/2018 16:39

Being a nurse is not easier than being a doctor!!

DairyisClosed · 27/04/2018 16:39

YANBU. The oral isn't any less hard but the pay is even worse than a doctors pay which isn't great to start with.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 27/04/2018 16:39

If she wants to be a nurse I would be fully supporting her choice, there are lots of opportunities for career progression.

I'm a nurse btw and would hate to be a dr.

Kettlan · 27/04/2018 16:39

Nursing is a fantastic career choice. Good for her.

DairyisClosed · 27/04/2018 16:39

*work not oral

PerryPerryThePlatypus · 27/04/2018 16:39

Do you want your dd to be happy or rich? She is not just her intelligence.

AlonsoTigerHeart · 27/04/2018 16:39

I think its fair to question why.
Is it a pressure/stress thing?
Money thing?

But ultimately it has to be her choice really

blackteasplease · 27/04/2018 16:40

Thing is thst nursing is a totally different career/ discipline. It's not just a less good doctor!

ThereAreTooMany · 27/04/2018 16:41

I can see why it’s would seem a waste of academic potential but perhaps she is put off medicine because of the stress and responsibility. (I know that nurses jobs also have stress and responsibly but I think Doctors have more 🤷🏻‍♀️)
Does she get stressed over exams and possible failure? Might she be choosing nurses as she thinks it’s an easier option?

Has she done a lot of research?

Flockoftreegulls · 27/04/2018 16:41

You can still go a long way in nursing though, my auntie rose through the ranks of nursing all the way to be very senior in the health authority, she was on a big salary. Don't dismiss nursing.
I imagine she knows what she wants if she has done the work experience you mention.
I can understand how you feel but if she is clever she will do well whatever.

TheRollingCrone · 27/04/2018 16:42

Do you think she really wants to be a DR but lacks confidence?

Or is she really set on Nursing?

You can't really make the decision for her.

There is lots of scope in Nursing for 'high fliers' from what I understand.

A friends daughter, grammar school, straight A* yada yada went into nursing. My friend was gutted Hmm - the daughter presented her thesis at a conference in USA. Is tipped for the top. But most importantly is fulfilled, happy and passionate. Now, you can't beat that can you?

museumum · 27/04/2018 16:42

If she’s very academic is she interested in speciality nursing or nurse practitioner stuff? Is she put off medicine by the weird do or die med school attitude?

Couldhavewouldhaveshouldhave · 27/04/2018 16:43

Nurses can be academic!

This is what she's potentially going to be spending the next 40+ years doing so please just hope that she has a career she enjoys, it's not all about the money.

More and more nurses are able to progress to Advanced Nurse Practitioners or Consultant Nurses along with a misread of posts earning £40k and up.

Nursing and medicine are totally different careers although they work closely with each other and I've not met many who wish they'd chosen the opposite path on either side. Your daughter must see something in nursing that she loves - I wish her the very best of luck in whatever she chooses.

CottonSock · 27/04/2018 16:43

Is there a kind of medical entry course she could do then decide? This exists overseas

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 27/04/2018 16:43

YABVU. It’s not about the money. Her career will take up a lot of her time and she should spend it doing what she most wants to do.

If you push her away from what she’d prefer because the salary is bigger then she will resent you.

As long as she’s happy, you shouldn’t care what job she’s doing.

ahouseofleaves · 27/04/2018 16:44

YABU ... by all means talk to her about her reasons, it could help you understand them and her.

But don't say things like how she'd earn more money as a doctor. That's not the point. She could be an unhappy doctor, or happy as a nurse because that's what she has chosen.

IfNot · 27/04/2018 16:44

Honestly? I would be dissapointed too,but it's her life, so you can't do anything!
She may decide to become a nurse and go into medicine later, and her nursing experience would be valuable in terms of being in a hospital setting I guess.
Or she may not. There are so many choices I wish I had made differently as a youngster, but that's the thing-youth is wasted on the young!

ZX81user · 27/04/2018 16:45

she wouldn't necessarily get into medicine anyway.

bbpp · 27/04/2018 16:46

Nursing is high paid at the top if that's your issue.

scaredofthecity · 27/04/2018 16:46

I wanted to do medicine (had the grades), changed my mind and then a few years later ended up doing nursing.
I have no regrets, medicine is tough and probably only going to get worse. As a nurse I have a great work/life balance, have been able to have a family young and genuinely love my job.
The nurse/Dr line is more blurred than it's ever been and there is so much potential for promotion and development. There are nurses doing jobs that have been traditionally done by drs and are paid appropriately for it. It's only the lower grades where the wage isn't so great.
I think it sounds very sensible. We need more bright nurses like your daughter.

Shednik · 27/04/2018 16:49

YABVU

Daftquestion1 · 27/04/2018 16:53

It would depend on her reasons. They are different jobs, and IMO nursing is less demanding on the work life balance. It's still not always ideal but better than medicine and therefore has advantages. She may well have specific reasons for nursing but if not I would delve a bit further and get her to look at allied professions such as physiotherapy.