To be upset dd is set on studying nursing when she could do medicine?

[Majamandy]

My dd is very academic - she got straight As/9s in her GCSEs last year (apart from 1 D in Art) and is half way through her A levels taking Maths, Biology, Chemistry and History. Her working grades are AAAA.

She's been doing a lot of medical work experience this year, as she's been set on doing something medical for a long time. She recently told us that she's decided she's going to apply for nursing.

AIBU to think that that's a waste of her academic potential? She'd earn so much more as a doctor.

I think it depends on the reasons for her choice tbh. I'd be worried that she was influenced by gender stereotypes especially if her work experience took place in settings with lots of female nursing staff and male doctors.
Money is important but not imo when it's related to a vocation. Extra income each month won't compensate or motivate during long hours, studying, etc. She needs to be passionate about her choice.

It really depends on what her motivation is. However academically able she is, either of these courses will be difficult to get through without very strong motivation. I encounter lots of academic high-flyers on our medicine course who struggle just because they're having to work really hard to qualify for something they don't actually want to do.

It would be worth getting her to talk to someone she trusts but isn't too close to in order to get her to work out with them what she thinks medicine and nursing each involve and what underlies her preference for nursing over medicine. It's possible she misunderstands something about what the different healthcare professionals do; it's equally possible that she understands this fully and nursing is simply what she wants to do. Or perhaps she's impatient and doesn't want to be a student for five years, in which case it would be useful for her to look at what fourth- and particularly fifth-year medical students do in terms of working directly with patients. Clearly, medical students have much less hands-on patient contact than student nurses, but she's not going to be a student forever.

Someone said up-thread that being a nurse is not easier than being a doctor. This is quite obviously true but the nature of the challenges is different, and the kinds of intellectual abilities needed are different. There are roles that nurses with particular interests or abilities can take on after a few years of practice, including specialisms and nurse consultant roles, supplementary prescribing, teaching, management and so on. Without knowing her it's impossible to work out whether one of these would be her likely pathway.

As someone who spends a fair proportion of his life trying to persuade some academically strong sixth-formers not to study medicine (because they aren't committed to patient care or don't have the necessary personal attributes), I'd quite like to meet people with both the commitment to caring necessary for nursing and the scientifically-oriented academic ability needed for medicine.

It is really hard for parents to watch sons/daughters make choices when we think they could do better. But our definition of "better" isn't necessarily valid. I really hope you work this out: that your daughter makes a well-informed decision of what's right for her and that you understand why she's doing it so you can give her your full support. But I know it won't be easy.

There's probably more of a long term future in nursing than doctors.

AI is set to replace a lots of the roles doctors carry out. But hands on care will always require a human.

I think it depends on WHY she's chosen nursing. If it's down to confidence then I would say YANBU.

You need to do some fishing to find out what her reasons are...

My husband had the same reaction. Our daughter always said from being 8 she wanted to be a doctor. More recently said she wants to be a doctor that delivers babies. So I said if she wants to deliver babies on a daily basis she probably wants to be a midwife, as doctors only get involved if there are problems.

She's now 16 and has researched her options and has decided to go fir midwifery, DH is a little disgruntled and said she could earn more as a doctor. I say it's her life and she should do what she wants.

OP, my DD has academic potential. But she wants to do a course in the arts and design area, so she is. She has clear idea of what she's doing and that's great by me.

I am a lowly nurse and l love what l do. I work in theatres. So far 3 nurses have undertaken extra training and now operate on patients without supervision from a doctor.

Think you need to find out the reasons why your DD wants to be a nurse

KurriKurri, the BNurs course has definitely been around since the late 70s - although only a few universities offered it then.Some did it straight after A Levels and some did a post reg after SRN / RGN. OP, has she had any work experience with nurses, or has it just been with medics?

I'm a nurse and was in the same situation as your daughter. I always responded to people by saying I didn't want the doctor's job. I didn't want to just see someone for five minutes and have that be it. I wanted to spend time with people and really get to know them.

I do not regret the decision I made. Today I'm a nursing instructor. I earn a fantastic salary, get about 3 months paid vacation a year, and I have an 8-4 job Monday to Friday. I don't have call, I didn't have to go through 10+ years to get where I am (I do have 10 years of education, but that was by choice and it's not a requirement for my job - I have a master's degree but my job only requires a bachelor's), I don't have student debt, and I have options to change jobs much more easily if I want to do so.

I think YABU, it's your daughters choice. As others had said nursing and medicine are not the same, one is not inferior to the other.

I was in a similar situation at school, expect it was the teachers pressuring me, my mum fully supported my choices. I wanted to do nursing, they told me I was too academic and should pursue medicine. It was a moot point in the end as I became very sick and couldn't take up my place to do a degree in nursing. I often wonder what life would be like if I had done nursing.

I think the pay is quite good. My friend who has been qualified 5 years is now on over £27k

I’m a nurse and academic, nearly 3 years qualified and on the route (admittedly very early stages) to becoming a nurse consultant.

Nursing and medicine aren’t interchangeable, it’s not about being confident enough to study medicine (as one PP said) or academic, it’s about the idea that nurses work more holistically, on a more personal level, more closely with patients. i could go on forever about why I would much prefer to be a nurse than a doctor but I won’t bore you!

Medicine requires a lot more than good grades - if she has any reservations about doing it she shouldn’t.

I’d be thinking the same if it was my child

I think it is an excellent career choice.

When I took my DS to see a nurse practitioner at the medical centre I don't think we would have received any better advice if she had been a doctor. The consultation felt no different at all to one you would have with a G.P.

YABU.

Medicine is an incredibly demanding degree course and the early years are hard. Yes, nursing is tough too but if she is as academically gifted as she seems to be then she will find it much easier and therefore have a much better balance.

Whilst the overall earning potential of a Dr is of course more, nurses can advance very quickly to a VERY good wage. If your daughter is bright then I am sure she will have no problems doing this. I would encourage her to do the nursing.

A nurse could potentially earn up to £100k in the NHS if she got right to the very top.

As pp have stated, a nurse is not second rate or taking the easy option. It is very different to medicine.

My sister is in her 4th year of studying medicine, but now wishes she’d been a midwife instead!

My mum was a nurse and my dad’s a doctor as well. I do think he is happier in his work than my mum was tbf. He also made a lot more money.

The obvious thing is to talk to her about why.

Both jobs are equally demanding and equally stressful but as a doctor you have more capacity - you’re not just carrying out other people’s orders - and the pay is better.

Is she intimidated by the training, the responsibility etc..? Does she lack confidence?

The danger would be that she trains as a nurse and then feels frustrated by the limitations of career development compared to medicine itself. It might be quite galling to have doctors ordering her about in their slightly patronising way, when she knows she’s equally intelligent.

On the other hand she may genuinely feel happier nursing. A truly great nurse can be a godsend.

As long as it’s a positive choice for good reasons rather than a negative one based on fear or confidence issues, that’s fine.

My point being, it depends on the individual.

They're two entirely different careers. I'm a nurse. I would not want to be a doctor and the extra money wouldn't buy job satisfaction or make up for the downsides of working in that career. There's also a huge amount of potential in nursing to progress her career in various directions that might interest her, some are more 'academic' than others.

If she doesn't absolutely 100% want to be a doctor, only a doctor, and nothing else but a doctor, she'd be bonkers to go to medical school. The drop out rate for trainees is increasing dramatically, the depression, divorce, alcoholism, and suicide rates are scary. And you can do your absolute best in an impossible situation and end up with murder/manslaughter allegations, struck off, and with your career over. And that's without the death threats we've seen recently.

Most doctors I know are desperately trying to make sure their children don't follow in their footsteps. Oh, and looking into RLE, or course (retire, locum, emigrate)

Oh, and with some of the nurse specialist/nurse consultant/nurse practitioner routes, if she wants to she could develop extra skills (and money) later.

That’s a shame, I’d try and talk to her about what’s stopping her taking a doctor route definitely.

You are being very very unreasonable! They are completely different careers that work closely together and compliment each other. I am a nurse, and although I admire the Drs I wouldn't like their job. Years and years of training, if she wants to be in surgery it is unfortunately still a bit of a mans world. Nursing has so many opportunities for travel, thousands of different types of jobs. It's her choice, and not yours.