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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give this 12 year old toast and jam?

267 replies

listsandbudgets · 27/04/2018 16:27

DD has a friend home for tea. We nearly always have pasta on a Friday so tonight is pesto pasta, garlic bread and greek salad... I did ask her mum in advance if she had any dislikes or allergies and was told she wasn't keen on cheese but would eat anything else.

This girl now says she does not like ... pesto, pasta, garlic bread, pizza, salad (of any sort), cheese, rice, eggs, sausages, baked beans, baked potatos or tomato soup... running out of options of things to offer her... she's asked if we can just get something from the chippy or chinese and I've said no...

so AIBU to serve up toast, jam and an apple. and tell her mum that was all I could get her to eat?

OP posts:
angryburd · 28/04/2018 15:38

"even young children can rustle up a pesto sauce" MN gold 🤣🤣🤣

MizCracker · 28/04/2018 15:46

That is peak Mumsnet Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 15:47

I think I would have found plain pasta, butter and ketchup rather lovely actually.

Mightymucks · 28/04/2018 15:50

Even young children can rustle up a pesto sauce.

Between challenging the theory of relativity and playing a Beethoven piano sonata I assume?

nineteentwelve · 28/04/2018 15:57

'even young children can rustle up a pesto sauce'
pissing myself - this belongs in 'overheard in Waitrose'

runsmidgeOMG · 28/04/2018 15:58

I remember eating meat when I don't really like it out of politeness growing up. Some friends parents must have noticed as I stared to get comments of "more of this less of that" for you and I was really grateful at the time. Saying that I would have been able to happily chose something if given the options like the OP because it was OFFERED to me.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 28/04/2018 16:29

Hah, Lonicera, I think there quite a few vegetarians that don't know parmesan isn't vegetarian too - both times I've entertained vegetarian friends recently I've messaged beforehand to ask how strict they were about parmesan (I would have been happy to get a vegetarian alternative) and both sets were a bit Confused

LoniceraJaponica · 28/04/2018 16:31

I think it depends on the reasons for being vegetarian LadyLove
Those who don't eat meat because they dislike it or for health reasons won't care. Those that do so for ethical/moral reasons will, and will know that Parmesan isn't vegetarian.

Nanny0gg · 28/04/2018 16:33

So much hatred for fussy eaters on MN!"

It’s not hatred but honestly, fussy eaters are a pain in the arse.

We know. And funnily enough, we don't enjoy being fussy. It's very limiting.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 28/04/2018 16:35

Glad she saw sense. She wouldn't be coming to mine twice.

lanbury · 28/04/2018 16:37

I find it incredible, when you have even checked in advance about diet preferences and allergies that a guest in the house should think there is an interchangeable menu available. A 12 year old is more than old enough to realise you're not running a hotel!! Get what shes given and be grateful. I'd be shaming her infront of her mother. Bloody cheek to ask for a takeaway!!

TeisanLap · 28/04/2018 17:18

Between challenging the theory of relativity and playing a Beethoven piano sonata I assume?

this belongs in overheard in Waitrose

It’s a very simple to make and ideal for children to put together when they want to start cooking.

topcat2014 · 28/04/2018 17:22

Mind you, I cannot see the fascination with pasta and pesto - never eat it myself.

Toast and jam sounds fine on a sleepover.

One of the benefits of being an adult is to no longer having to worry about things you don't like eating.

LiteraryDevil · 28/04/2018 17:42

Here's another shocker for those who didn't know it contains cheese: it's not vegetarian either unless it says othereusevon the label. Parmesan is one of those protected species type cheeses that has to be made the traditional way in order to be called Parmesan which means with animal rennet (calf stomach enzymes). You can get some veggie alternatives as per pp but most isn't veggie afik.

And yes I know "protected species" will make you laugh but I can't think of the right phrase Blush

But seriously, what bad manners! My middle child is very fussy but would have happily eaten lots from that list.

isthismummy · 28/04/2018 17:44

She asked if you could get a takeaway? What a cheeky madam!

I wouldn't be inviting her again...

colditz · 28/04/2018 17:44

Alright I'm going to weigh in here and challenge something I am seeing a LOT

16 is not adult. They are teenagers.

12 is not a teenager. They are preteen

9 is not a preteen. They are children.

2 is not a preschooler. They are toddlers

and 10 month olds are not toddlers. They are babies.

Verbally moving children through higher stages of development does not ACTUALLY DEVELOP them.

So the child in question is not a "teenager, and teenagers should know better"

She is a preteen CHILD. And clearly does NOT know better, or she's have DONE better.

sprinklesandsauce · 28/04/2018 17:44

Why are people so nasty about fussy eaters? As I child I was forced by teachers and parents to eat food that I detested and made me gag. Funnily enough there’s now lots of food I can’t eat! It left me with a life long problem.

I don’t deliberately hate stuff to piss people off and I try never to be a problem when I eat out.

colditz · 28/04/2018 17:49

People are nasty about fussy eaters because every single adult 'normal' eater has had an experience where they have either cooked something that's been rejected, often with attendant gagging noises and dramatic tears, or has had to severely restrict their own diet when it comes to family meals and special meals out due to wailing and tantrums from the fussy one.

There are actually quite a lot of adult fussy eaters who DON'T quietly push their disliked food to one side and cheerfully enjoy their food. There are quite a few who will sulk, insist and even gag when offered something they dislike.

Adults instinctively dislike childlike behaviour in other adults, and this is why fussy eating, toddler behaviour extended to adulthood, is SO irritating.

LiteraryDevil · 28/04/2018 17:49

Colditz I've noticed that too and it's annoying.

crunchymint · 28/04/2018 17:52

colditz People like me do think of 16 as a young adult, because until recently, it was. Many of us started paid work at 16 years old. Yes we still had growing up to do, but we were very much treated as young adults in the workplace with the responsibilities of that. I was caring and supervising severely disabled kids at 16 years old.
Also you can still get married at 16 years old, even if 18 is the legal age for an adult.

Fairyhill · 28/04/2018 17:58

My friends daughter was coming to tea - when she arrived .. she did nt eat our kind of food ( cooked dinner ) but she said she ate from the chip shop all the time and would happily have a kebab!!! I just knew it was a load of b**cks. So I phoned her mom in front of her .. saying I needed to check any allergies / she could nt back pedal fast enough and ate the cooked dinner!! :D

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 18:04

I spent time cooking a lovely roast beef, I thought it was nice, one of my guests proceeded to pour salt all over it and pushed it aside, very rude, they they did not get a second invite.

colditz · 28/04/2018 18:05

People like me do think of 16 as a young adult, because until recently, it was. Many of us started paid work at 16 years old. Yes we still had growing up to do, but we were very much treated as young adults in the workplace with the responsibilities of that. I was caring and supervising severely disabled kids at 16 years old.

In some countries, children work at 6. Are they adults there?

if you have growing up to do, you are literally NOT grown up.

crunchymint · 28/04/2018 18:07

Except I am not talking about other countries but here.
I have met 40 year olds who still need to grow up. They are adults.

crunchymint · 28/04/2018 18:07

Legally you are an adult at 18. Some will be very mature, some will never grow up. That is how it has always been.