To give this 12 year old toast and jam?

[listsandbudgets]

DD has a friend home for tea. We nearly always have pasta on a Friday so tonight is pesto pasta, garlic bread and greek salad... I did ask her mum in advance if she had any dislikes or allergies and was told she wasn't keen on cheese but would eat anything else.

This girl now says she does not like ... pesto, pasta, garlic bread, pizza, salad (of any sort), cheese, rice, eggs, sausages, baked beans, baked potatos or tomato soup... running out of options of things to offer her... she's asked if we can just get something from the chippy or chinese and I've said no...

so AIBU to serve up toast, jam and an apple. and tell her mum that was all I could get her to eat?

PS I did, unfortunately, know someone –an adult – who would make, not quite gagging, but 'yuck' noises at dinner parties about food she didn't like (of which there was a LOT). She'd make a big fuss about being asked to handle and pass on a sharing bowl, for example.

That is just pathetically immature behaviour TomRavenscroft.

I really dislike parsnips, but would happily pass a dish of roasted parsnips on to someone who wanted them.

colditz the only way for DD not to retch is if she's not presented with greasy food, or even somewhere that smells strongly of it. It's not "behaviour".

Indeed, Lonicera. Note my use of the past tense when talking about her
She's been an ex-friend for years –not because of her bad manners over food, but I can't say I miss that aspect of her or any actually

Funnily enough I loathe roasted parsnips too! But of course, like you, wouldn't dream of making faces/noises at being asked to hold a dish of them.

My involuntary response to injections is to scream and hit the person trying to administer them. I repress this response because I am an adult and it is unacceptable. The repression began when I was a child, because it was unacceptable to continue to behave in a childish way. I would expect a child to object to an injection, or gag at a disliked food - I would expect the adult in charge to be working towards helping the child to repress that inappropriate reaction.

I'm not sure how much clearer I can be. Surely nobody thinks children should simply be left to behave unacceptably until they are adults and their friends are fed up of it?

Actually, I don't, I tell her to avoid places that serve greasy food colditz. If she was going to someone's house, I'd say she can't eat fried food or things like cheese on toast. Or she'd tell them. She's old enough.

That seems like it won't cause problems in the future

I think most people with sensory issues either grow out of them, or learn to live with them colditz.

I do agree with you, Buttocks, but the gagging is a behaviour associated with the issue. The issue (sensory) may or may not go. The behaviour (gagging) must.

I wish I wasn't a fussy Eater but I am. I'll get through a lot of water some meal times when I'm dining at someone's house coz I try to discreetly wash it down. I do try to avoid eating at people's houses though and suggest eating out if it's someone I'm sure can afford it, or I just invite to ours and I cook

Colditz - true gagging is a reflex. About as suppressible as someone with violent vomiting due to norovirus being told not to vomit because it isn't polite. Or someone in labour being told to suppress their contractions, because now isn't the time.

@nocoolnamesleft thankyou. This is what I was trying to say

I retch at the smell of coffee and cooked pasta. I'm a fully grown adult. It's an involuntary reaction and believe me, if I could suppress it I would and the scant few times I've tried led to throwing up and I'd rather not thanks 😂

OP
Did you tell the Mum in the end?

Exactly nocoolnamesleft it's not a behaviour. I don't see why avoiding chip shops and informing DD's friends' parents that she can't eat greasy food is something that has to stop.

None of which happened as mother said there was nothing to avoid when asked about food and rude child asked for a takeaway. Amazing what people project into these posts.

Some people are so nasty towards this 12 year old. Calling her names and such. Not very nice yourselves are you?