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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give this 12 year old toast and jam?

267 replies

listsandbudgets · 27/04/2018 16:27

DD has a friend home for tea. We nearly always have pasta on a Friday so tonight is pesto pasta, garlic bread and greek salad... I did ask her mum in advance if she had any dislikes or allergies and was told she wasn't keen on cheese but would eat anything else.

This girl now says she does not like ... pesto, pasta, garlic bread, pizza, salad (of any sort), cheese, rice, eggs, sausages, baked beans, baked potatos or tomato soup... running out of options of things to offer her... she's asked if we can just get something from the chippy or chinese and I've said no...

so AIBU to serve up toast, jam and an apple. and tell her mum that was all I could get her to eat?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 09:24

Wow this girl is 12, not 2, so many excuses being made for her rude behaviour, it is rude. Op has offered her a range of options which she refused, and asked for take away, which is a) .considered a treat for most people, b) expensive! If she does not want any options, offered, it is toast, cereal and fruit. No wonder there are a lot of spoked entitled chikdren about with people treating them like babies.

I am glad she is having an adapted version of your dinner, that is fine. When I was 12, 29 years ago, if you went to a visiting house and did not like the food on offer, you woukd at least try and eat some of it, if not, leave the rest. You woukd not tell the host yiu did not like it and can you have take away!

AuditAngel · 28/04/2018 10:33

I never knew pesto had cheese in it. To be honest I don't like it so have never looked at the ingredients! Mind you, I've never given it to my keys as I don't like it

LoniceraJaponica · 28/04/2018 11:10

DD is vegetarian so won't eat standard pesto as it has Parmesan cheese in it.

AjasLipstick · 28/04/2018 11:16

I can't believe some of these kids! My DD is 10 and one of her mates tries this on a lot...well she DID but soon worked out we're not like her parents!

She'd say "Oh I don't like those lollies...only these ones." in the supermarket with us....she wanted the more expensive ones. I was doing my weekly frigging shop! I said "Well you don't have to eat them, these are the ones we get though."

And she'll say "I don't like XY and Z" and hope that I will go to the chip shop.

NOPE! If you don't like it, then have an apple.

Graphista · 28/04/2018 11:20

Binary - as an ex youth leader myself that brings back memories! Do you also find once on camp they're more willing to eat/try stuff that everyone else is eating (plus they're hungry from the fresh air and activities)

Officer - you're WILFULLY being obtuse and missing that she DOES like pasta despite claiming not to like it AND op offered several NO CHEESE AT ALL options. So very clear she was trying it on! Also at 12 I very much doubt she only eats at home/specific restaurants.

Amazing thank you Blush

"Why are posters struggling with that concept?" It's only one I think. And I agree.

Idobelievein i think most people will accommodate GENUINE children with food issues as long as they're forewarned and can prepare - this is not that this is a child angling for an expensive treat.

"I’ve just asked DH (who used to be a chef), neither did he!" Really?!!! If he really trained as a chef as opposed to a cook I'd be really shocked.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 11:50

I was under the impression that vegetarians eat cheese, and dairy, vegans do not! Anyway, mother did not say that she was vegetarian or had any specific dietry requirements. Why should op take the trouble to go to the take away for this child, either she eats what is on offer or she goes hungry, simple.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 11:51

Oh right Lornica your dd is vegan then!

LoniceraJaponica · 28/04/2018 12:01

No Aeroflotgirl she is vegetarian. Parmesan cheese is not vegetarian as it contains animal rennet.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 12:02

At 12 years old, they are quite capable barr SN, to tell somebody they have allergies, that they cannot eat certain foods, this was not what happened in this case, so people are putting scenarios that are not there.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 12:04

Lornica cheese is derived from animals so most dairy is off limits then, the vegitarians I know eat dairy, including parmesan, but my vegan friend does not eat any dairy because it comes from animals, and also with the methods used in making of cheese and milk.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 12:07

Even if the girl was vegitarian, she would know what she could eat or the mother would tell her, all she said was that she did not like cheese. So from that, I would gather she could eat most things.

Orchidflower1 · 28/04/2018 12:09

I’m with the several pp who said I bet the girls decided they were going to ask for take away. Conversation...
dd “ my mums doing pasta for tea but I don’t want it, I really fancy chips or a Chinese. If I ask she’ll say no. Say you don’t like stuff and we might get it”

Or

Dd friend “ if I have a friend round and they don’t like it we get a pizza delivered/ when I went to Annie’s house her mum got us take away when I said I didn’t like stuff let’s ask your mum”

Later....
Dd “ my mums cross cos you said you don’t like stuff can you just eat pasta”

Did you say anything to the mum op?

LoniceraJaponica · 28/04/2018 12:12

"I was under the impression that vegetarians eat cheese, and dairy"

I missed your previous post. Vegetarians don't eat cheese made with animal rennet (which comes from the lining of calves stomachs), therefore Parmsan is not vegetarian as it is an AOC / Protected cheese and Parmesan producers cannot use vegetarian rennet.

Budget "parmesan" options are mostly produced using non animal rennet as it is cheaper, so we buy the Tesco Value hard cheese instead.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 12:15

On right Lornica I did not know that, anyway if your dd was eating at a friends you would let the parents know before what they could eat or not eat, and if they are old enough, they can tell the host parents.

LoniceraJaponica · 28/04/2018 12:21

Sorry about the essay Aeroflotgirl.

DD is 17 and would politely decline eating any non veggie food, and her friends' parents know that she is vegetarian, so it isn't an issue. I think most non vegetarians won't know that Parmesan isn't vegetarian anyway.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 12:34

No I don't think they do lornica, lots of my veggie friends eat it.

downinthejunglee · 28/04/2018 13:20

Bet your DD put her up to asking for a takeaway.

I imagine, both of the girls secretly plotted the take away suggestion, it's really no big deal OP.

This is probably true

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/04/2018 13:37

I bet it is true too downinthejungle especially given that the friend ended up saying she'd just have plain pasta and ketchup. If she truly was a brat I doubt she'd have asked for that.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 13:48

All heresay, really regarding both girls plotting the takeaway, its just a theory, not set in stone. Especially if the visiting girl is stronger and more dominant, op dd probably knows that she could not get away with such behaviour in her home with her mother, and takeaway night is on a certain day, so did not ask. The girl was rude.

TeisanLap · 28/04/2018 13:54

*"I’ve just asked DH (who used to be a chef), neither did he.

I can see why he now does something else. Even young children can rustle up a pesto sauce.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/04/2018 14:02

It's all heresay that the other girl is more dominant and stronger too though.

I find it hard to believe that someone would ask for a takeaway off their own bat but then would do a complete turnaround and ask for plain pasta with ketchup tbh.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 14:21

Mabey when she know op wou,d not be getting her one, and that she would be hungry otherwise, then she decided that she woukd eat.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/04/2018 14:40

I'd rather starve than eat plain pasta with ketchup Grin

heidipi · 28/04/2018 14:51

"even young children can rustle up a pesto sauce" wins Mumsnet 😂

Aeroflotgirl · 28/04/2018 15:35

Kids eat the most strangest of things, I used to like spaghetti Bolognese with ketchup in😋😋😋

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