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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give this 12 year old toast and jam?

267 replies

listsandbudgets · 27/04/2018 16:27

DD has a friend home for tea. We nearly always have pasta on a Friday so tonight is pesto pasta, garlic bread and greek salad... I did ask her mum in advance if she had any dislikes or allergies and was told she wasn't keen on cheese but would eat anything else.

This girl now says she does not like ... pesto, pasta, garlic bread, pizza, salad (of any sort), cheese, rice, eggs, sausages, baked beans, baked potatos or tomato soup... running out of options of things to offer her... she's asked if we can just get something from the chippy or chinese and I've said no...

so AIBU to serve up toast, jam and an apple. and tell her mum that was all I could get her to eat?

OP posts:
MizCracker · 27/04/2018 16:54

I hesitate to say this, but in the past my dc have known people at whose houses I would not want to have eaten.Does your hygiene leave something to be desired?

Only on Mumsnet would someone jump to that kind of conclusion. Bloody hell ShockGrin

Tink2007 · 27/04/2018 16:56

I would be mortified if my DD asked someone to get her takeaway after being given a list of foods to eat.

Amummyatlast · 27/04/2018 16:56

You can't taste the cheese in pesto. The overwhelming taste is of basil. I can understand that some

I actually think pesto tastes quite strongly of cheese (which I like) and was thinking as I read this thread "but she doesn't like cheese!".

youarenotkiddingme · 27/04/2018 16:57

That's fine. I was a fussy child but I'd have just asked for plain pasta and eaten some garlic bread.
If I didn't like what was on offer I always said I'd just have toast (whilst apologising profusely for being a pita!).

Caribou58 · 27/04/2018 16:57

I might have run to tossing some tomatoes in oil and garlic and shoving that on the pasta for her - but she sure as hell would not get a take away from me, just for the cheek of asking for one.

LoniceraJaponica · 27/04/2018 16:58

"So much hatred for fussy eaters on MN!"

I don't hate fussy eaters, but I don't understand them and find it frustrating when we go out from work for a Christmas meal and have to eat in a run of the mill chain pizza restaurant because one member of the team will only eat pizza.

Orangecake123 · 27/04/2018 16:59

I don't see anything wrong with bread and jam!

Purplehammer · 27/04/2018 16:59

Why waste toast on the little shit.
Send her home before you eat.

daytripper28 · 27/04/2018 16:59

I'm Shock you have started a thread about this. I mean - really?

Newsflash

12 year old is a fussy eater!!

Big deal

All the judgey people on here quickly making ludicrous assumptions also. Try having a Biscuit

daytripper28 · 27/04/2018 17:00

Yeah - like purplehammer -

Charmed I'm sure

converseandjeans · 27/04/2018 17:01

lonicera I think it's different when it's adults tbh as by then they should have become a bit more adventurous.
But people on MN do seem to get overly offended when a visiting child won't eat something they have created - and fair enough their kids will eat with no fuss - but I can't see the problem with the child asking politely for some toast.
However they shouldn't go round asking for take aways!

Peanutbuttercups21 · 27/04/2018 17:03

"Little shit"? Hmm

Txt her mum to collect her?Hmm

What weirdo suggestions!

Goodness, just give the kid a sandwich or a bowl of cereal.

Why the fuss? MN is bonkers at times

Mightymucks · 27/04/2018 17:04

Plain toast with butter, no jam

Graphista · 27/04/2018 17:04

No hatred for fussy eaters here - I had one and was one.

BUT the mum would surely have told op if that was the case especially given she said about not being keen on cheese bet she eats it on chips

I also have diagnosed OCD, if I've found myself in a situation where I feel uncomfortable with the level of a hosts hygiene I've feined a lack of appetite or upset tummy (indigestion rather than d&v).

As a fussy eater as a child myself I rarely went to others to eat. With dd I talked to the mothers, some were happy to accommodate, the ones I sensed weren't keen on doing so I either made up a pack up or polite excuses to defer.

Juells · 27/04/2018 17:06

Would a preteen really know that pesto has cheese in it? It just looks green. She was being an arse.

Graphista · 27/04/2018 17:06

Not that I think your hygiene is in question op - just addressing the point.

AmazingPostVoices · 27/04/2018 17:07

So much hatred for fussy eaters on MN!"

It’s not hatred but honestly, fussy eaters are a pain in the arse.

The last two sets of visitors we had were families with fussy kids.

Trying to feed someone else’s children for a fortnight when they won’t eat anything is deeply tiresome.

KurriKurri · 27/04/2018 17:10

Child has already asked if she can have pasta with ketchup on it - easy enough to accomodate - so those who think she is a 'little shit' can put their pitchforks away and wait quietly for the next 12 yr old to come along.

OfficerVanHalen · 27/04/2018 17:11

she doesn't want the pasta with the sauce you've made because it has cheese in it, which you've been told she doesn't like, nor the salad you've made, because it has cheese in it, which you've been told she doesn't like

she's suggested something simple, so no drama

yes requesting a takeaway is rude but then so is dishing up a meal to a guest where the only thing they dislike is a key ingredient - she's 12, what's op's excuse? not that any of this will stand in the way of a good old fashioned bit of tutting and bosom hiking at fussy eaters mind.

Graphista · 27/04/2018 17:11

Amazing - in that situation I've done a grocery shop with hosts support and agreement and got things dd liked AND where necessary done the cooking - inc cooking for everyone where that made things easier.

No way should you be inconvenienced.

But I know the type that expect that.

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 27/04/2018 17:12

converse if you read my op you'll see I offered a long list of things which include plain pasta. If you read one of my later posts you'll see I'd already made her a plain salad... not sure how offering all the different options I did is a bad reaction. Not as if I snarled at her and force fed her pesto

OP posts:
optimuss · 27/04/2018 17:13

I'm so glad she asked for something very manageable and easy to do in the end, it would probably have been better to just say pasta, if it was put down to her she would most likely eat it. If shes never heard of pesto and wasn't sure of greek salad she may have just panicked.

However asking for a takeaway is the cheekiest thing i've read in a long time. I wouldn't have dared even ask my own mum that, and not even now and I'm late twenties! God, if i'd asked someone elses mum I'd still be in trouble for it

BrazzleDazzleDay · 27/04/2018 17:13

I had no idea pesto had cheese in it Blush

OfficerVanHalen · 27/04/2018 17:13

"Would a preteen really know that pesto has cheese in it? It just looks green. She was being an arse."

if she doesn't like the taste of cheese, then she won't like pesto. because it has cheese in it. she's probably encountered pesto before, it's not exactly foie gras or kangaroo burger is it

UrgentExitRequired · 27/04/2018 17:14

Jam and toast or nothing at all! She can eat when she gets home!