Colleague expecting lifts everyday and follows me and jumps into car without asking

[Drivendementedd]

I started a job in January, a new colleague told me she lived in the building behind me and asked if I could drop her home. I naively agreed thinking that I would gel with new colleagues quickly. However, this turned in to a full month of lifts in and out to work with her asking me personal questions such as my salary and then arguing with the manager for a pay rise. I got fed up when I was late once or twice in the mornings and she would call me demanding where I was and that she has been waiting outside my building. I finally stopped collecting her as I would sometimes wait 10-15 minutes for her and was feeling so annoyed at her attitude bearing in mind she never once offered to pay for petrol and told me she was so happy I joined as it was getting really expensive for her paying taxi fares. I was still stuck bringing her home as she would just follow me out to the car and sit in. She commented twice on my personal belongings being in the car asking wow is this a sweet shop/beauty salon. It was driving me insane! This went on for 4 months until I finally told her last week that I’m not insured to carry passengers and if I have an accident they won’t pay out so I can’t bring her. The journey was awkward she seemed upset but seemed to understand. I went in the following day and she interrupted a conversation I was having with another colleague to ask when I was going home, I said I told you I’m not insured so she insisted I should drop her to the closest taxi station when I declined. I thought she got the hint but the day after she asked again, I replied no. Today, she snapped at me infront of colleagues and deliberately tried to make me feel incompetent. I ignored her and just as everyone was about to leave she asked me for a lift again, I told her I’m not a taxi service and she looked at me in shock. The problem is I’ve heard her complain about me behind my back preciously and she’s told me the other staff don’t like me/think I lied to get the job which I later found out to be untrue. What is it with these people and what can I do? It’s driving me insane!!

Update: the day I told her “I’m not a taxi, I went to sign out as I was trying to get rid of her before she followed me out to the car. As she has also used the excuse before that I hadn’t told her and that she has no way home in an accusationary manner or asked me to ask another colleague for her as if I owe her something. Anyway, I ended up signing out forgetting that day we were to stay late for meetings and the management didn’t look too impressed.

She's a loon. Avoid at all costs and take no notice of what she has told you ... no doubt others are already aware of her loon-ness.

CF. Keep saying no.

Keep saying no. She'll get the message eventually.

Just say it's not possible anymore but you've saved her a small fortune so perhaps now she can invest in private lessons and drive herself

Could you actually flag this up with your line manager so they are at least aware of th situation?

I would speak to your line manager or HR for advice as this is affecting how she treats you in work. But whatever you do, don’t give her another lift!

It’s not a quick fix but if she is truly that annoying I would be tempted to start thinking about either moving house or finding a new job. What a mare.

You’ve told her no multiple times yet she’s harrassing you, by the sounds of it her constant requests are taking up a considerable amount of your work day, you’re becoming distracted from your job like forgetting your meeting as a result and she’s spreading nasty rumours about you to other staff, including claiming you lied to get the job, presumably as ‘revenge’ for not giving her a lift. It’s gone way the past the point where dismissing her as an annoying loon and ignoring her is an option, you need to report to your manager and/or HR.

This would really annoy me.

You need to stay firm. Say about insurance and not convenient for you anyway.

Liftzilla.

Is she actually buying that shite that you are not insured to carry passengers? Is that actually a thing?

YANBU - she is definitely a CF.

I'd feel obliged to have some sport with her, tbh. Let her get in the car and drive in the opposite direction; when she asks why you're going the wrong way, tell her you're visiting your mum/going to the gym/picking your OH or kids up/meeting your mates for a drink.

After being dropped further away from home than she was when she was at work might cure her of being presumptuous!

Or change your hours a bit so she'll be late if she waits for you or have to leave early.

Lock the doors the second you're in the car so she can't open a door to jump in.

She really does sound unhinged, and I agree with PP who say 'talk to HR'.

Take this to your line manager and well done op for saying no

Do you know someone you could stay the night with who lives 2 hours away in the other direction? Or drive somewhere and go for a meal?

But you need to speak to HR or manager if it's affecting your work reputation.

She's crackers. If she continues to harass you for lifts say you are reporting her to HR.

I wanted to report it but I felt that because she hasn’t violated company rules it just seemed like playground antics. Plus we are really busy in work trying to meet targets and managers are super busy. Other staff have begun questioning why I’m not bringing her anymore and asked if she was paying me ( as she is jumped into another colleagues car without asking) When I said no and that it’s because of insurance they seemed to understand.

Definitely speak to HR. She may well have form for harassing other colleagues as well.

Who gets a taxi to work every day?!?! She needs to sort her own travel, maybe learn to ride a bike or figure out the bus system where you are if she can't drive.

You dug yourself a deeper hole by making up the nonsensical excuse that you're not insured to carry passengers. It would have been harsher but more effective in the long run to be straight and tell her you don't intend to give her lifts anymore because she's an entitled, irritating PITA.

I'd literally walk back into the building and Report her for Aggressive behaviour to your Manager and HR.. but I'd also Report her for undermining you to other colleagues for refusing to provide her with a free lif to and from work... that's just NOT ON ..

I’ve never heard of anyone not insured to take passengers.

She sounds like a plain dick.

Yes apparently it is. I just updated the insurance policy with third party insurance and they told me if I was at fault in an accident they won’t pay anything but if another person hits me they’ll pay their damages but not mine. Plus, She’s just a colleague, my friends/sister wouldn’t even expect lifts from me everyday especially whilst complaining about me behind my back. 🙈

I agree with LakieLady, go a big detour, spend hours driving errands. Would be worth a tank full of petrol just to annoy her!

However, you've dealt with it in a more adult way and told her "no". She must be one thick-skinned woman to still be harassing you.