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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

When did you start enjoying holidays with the kids?

183 replies

Holidayhell18 · 26/04/2018 19:33

I'm going to sound like an absolute cow I know, but here goes.

DH lost his grandma recently and she left him some money which he decided he wanted to spend on a family holiday to a 'dream destination'.

We're here. It's hell.

DD is 12 months, has just started walking and is into everything. This means she won't keep still and is forever darting off, giving me a heart attack whenever we're near the pool. We took her to the beach but she hated the sand. It's so so hot and I'm struggling to find anything to keep her occupied. The resort is ok but only has a small play area and I don't want her there all day especially in the mid day heat.

I'm a SAHM and normally it's fine because I've built a great little routine for us of groups and classes and friends but here it feels like those first few weeks again where I was totally clueless. DH tries but he'll pack the bag and forget nappies or wipes or hats etc... so I have to take control of everything.

Where we are is beautiful and somewhere I'd have loved to come before children, but I feel like I'm in mourning for my life (my holiday life) pre children where we could eat late and get drunk and lie on a sun lounger reading trashy novels.

So how long was it before you could relax and actually enjoy your holiday? Or does everyone do that already and I'm a shitty person and terrible mother??

OP posts:

iambreezy · 26/04/2018 19:40

You're very normal! That was me a few years ago.
Last year was our first holiday where I didn't come back looking like utter shit and feeling exhausted and stressed. Kids 7 and 4 then. Beach holiday with rock bottom low expectations but we made a holiday routine (up, breakfast, dress, pack, beach, sandwiches, ice cream, back to hotel, pool, shower, dress dinner, bed). It's still not remotely relaxing for me but it's got elements of being really enjoyable as opposed to just same old shit but more chaotic and hotter. Have fun!
Try buying a mini paddling pool - set it up on the beach with water and toys in. She can sit or walk around in it. Under umbrella?

lessthanBeau · 26/04/2018 19:42

Family holidays are awesome, just don't ever take one with a child aged between just started walking and 2.5yrs, before and after that it's great.

AvoidingDM · 26/04/2018 19:43

Pools & beaches are stressful with mobile babies. We loved our first holiday with at 7 mths took him on a walking holiday.

TheSconeOfStone · 26/04/2018 19:45

We mainly camp or do static caravan holidays but with theme parks/lovely towns/interesting historic stuff close by. Cheap and cheerful and flexible. If it goes to shit you don’t feel £1,000s have been wasted. Started being fun at age 6 and 3 as kids made friends on site and got thoroughly worn out.

underneaththeash · 26/04/2018 19:45

I think after the age of 4. Before that self catering and hotels with a creche are essential....

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 26/04/2018 19:46

Mine are 13 and 6, and holidays are lovely. They get more relaxing every year. They improve dramatically when the kids are 3 or 4 can be mostly trusted not to fling themselves off things or into things.

noenergy · 26/04/2018 19:46

Enjoyed last years holiday when youngest just turned 3. We got into a routine of breakfast, pool all day on slides, snacks and lunch around pool, beach late afternoon, change, dinner, funfair rides and then kids entertainment/ disco and finally bed. We used to stay up after kids fell asleep exhausted. The 3 kids had a ball and lived the waterslides in the kids pool.

onemouseplace · 26/04/2018 19:47

The first holiday I booked a resort with a kids club. Honestly, it was a revelation. It meant I actually enjoyed the time spent with my children as I knew I was going to get some childfree holiday time each day as well.

Amanduh · 26/04/2018 19:48

Well mines 16mo and been walking since 9mo and I enjoy them. Depends on the child and company and support I suppose!

BananaBat · 26/04/2018 19:48

2.5 and we went on a trip to Europe with a long series of train journeys. Child slept in mclaren and we sat in the bar/cafe car and watched Europe go by, was weirdly brill as train made dc sleep for hours.

Tinycitrus · 26/04/2018 19:48

I always liked my holidays with children - mainly because I’m not at work

It gets easier when they get older although you have different challenges

like how to keep everyone happy over location, accommodation, WiFi access and choice of activities. Everyone has an pinion on everything

Ragwort · 26/04/2018 19:49

We had a great family holiday last year ................ DS was 16 .

(Actually we did have a few good holidays at Eurocamp or similar - a kid's club is essential ).

OrchidInTheSun · 26/04/2018 19:50

They have to be at least primary school aged then you can shove them in holiday club. Otherwise they're shit. You're not wrong sadly. Shame you squandered loads of holiday cash on a crappy one.

Save up for another dream destination holiday in a few years (providing you don't have more kids). Otherwise resign yourself to shit ones until my first sentence applies

mrsnec · 26/04/2018 19:51

Mine are 2 and 3. Certainly not there yet.

We have just done short breaks. Trying something different each time until we find something that works for everyone. But yes everything we've tried has been stressful for us.

Actually, we took dd to a yurt when she was tiny and that was ok but since then and the arrival of ds it's been difficult. Posh hotels they kicked off at dinner and I was embarrassed room was cramped as well. Caravan with the in laws was great for them but terrible for us. I could go on. But you're not alone op!

Dozer · 26/04/2018 19:52

Does the place you’re staying offer childcare?!

If not take turns and have some time off.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 26/04/2018 19:54

I’ll let you know . Mine are 5 and 7 now. Honestly at that age it is really shit and you only find that out once you’re there .

They have been better since youngest was 3 but I wouldn’t say genuinely enjoyable as there is always something to worry about.

StarShapedWindow · 26/04/2018 19:55

Last year we stayed in a large all inclusive in Greece and it was really relaxing, had a brilliant kids club and a large swimming pool that had lifeguards and loads of inflatables. The DC were 9 and 5.

oncemoreunto · 26/04/2018 19:55

The first great one was when they were 3 and we went to a eurocamp, flew and hired a car. We could walk around a bit, I discovered the French loved small people, there were some classes on camp they loved and a beach nearby. It was fantastic. Before then I went with a siblings family which meant we could catch up with them which was great but dc did mean as much if not more work than normal.

Ledkr · 26/04/2018 19:56

I remember it well! Two years in a row just chased dd around and rescued her from the edge of the pool around a thousand times a day!

jamoncrumpets · 26/04/2018 19:56

We have always loved holidays with our DS (he's 3.5 now) BUT that is because we have drastically adjusted our expectations of what a holiday should be. We also tend to do v gentle and short outings, to the beach, pool, ice cream shop etc, with regular returns to 'base camp' where we can relax and know DS is safe. The more ambitious we get, the more stressful it gets!

honeylulu · 26/04/2018 19:56

I did not find holidays with young children enjoyable at all. A total waste of money. With each child we waited until they were 3 so they could eat proper food/ drink from cup/ not wear nappies and even that was .. shall we say ... challenging.

The things i liked doing on holiday - daytime drinking, sunbathing with a book, cultural sightseeing just didn't work with children. Mine were both bolters so you couldn't sit down for a minute and they got bored very quickly in one place. Plus we'd end up spending a couple of hours in the apartment watching Disney films to keep them out of the sun during the hottest part of the day.
Forget having a lovely relaxing dinner either..
We started going on all inclusive holidays because of kids club and mini disco which gave us a break and kept them amused. Very different to the sort of holidays we enjoyed before!
I think around age 6 was when it gets enjoyable again.
Then they turn into teenagers... omg that's another kettle of fish!

Teaandbiscuits35 · 26/04/2018 19:57

I was like this a week into a holiday with my two year old. We then met another family and DS was suddenly amused with another child and I had another mum who got it. Made all the difference! You're not a terrible mum, just a tired one who deserves to enjoy her holiday.

Ohmydayslove · 26/04/2018 19:57

After 3 years old.

Mind you brilliant now as we do sandles so not only not ours anymore as all grown up but no other brats either

overmydeadbody · 26/04/2018 19:58

I've always loved my holidays with my children, at all ages!!

It's just about planning the right sorry of holidays and changing your views of what you'll be doing.

Holidays are not about lying on a sun lounger or getting drunk or having lie one with my kids, they're about adventure and having fun and trying new things, getting then to experience new things... But also just a nice change from the pressure and stress of normal life working full time and juggling everything.

whiteroseredrose · 26/04/2018 19:59

Seriously. DS was the same. Hated the mild heat so we spent the whole time in the air conditioned hotel room. Stick to the nice cool UK with the NHS round the corner till she's 6 or 7! From 3ish she might like being a princess in a Welsh castle or building castles in nice damp British sand which sticks together! Or having a walk in fairy woods.

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