When did you start enjoying holidays with the kids?

[Holidayhell18]

I'm going to sound like an absolute cow I know, but here goes.

DH lost his grandma recently and she left him some money which he decided he wanted to spend on a family holiday to a 'dream destination'.

We're here. It's hell.

DD is 12 months, has just started walking and is into everything. This means she won't keep still and is forever darting off, giving me a heart attack whenever we're near the pool. We took her to the beach but she hated the sand. It's so so hot and I'm struggling to find anything to keep her occupied. The resort is ok but only has a small play area and I don't want her there all day especially in the mid day heat.

I'm a SAHM and normally it's fine because I've built a great little routine for us of groups and classes and friends but here it feels like those first few weeks again where I was totally clueless. DH tries but he'll pack the bag and forget nappies or wipes or hats etc... so I have to take control of everything.

Where we are is beautiful and somewhere I'd have loved to come before children, but I feel like I'm in mourning for my life (my holiday life) pre children where we could eat late and get drunk and lie on a sun lounger reading trashy novels.

So how long was it before you could relax and actually enjoy your holiday? Or does everyone do that already and I'm a shitty person and terrible mother??

Try tag teaming. Get dh to take baby for a walk when she wakes up. Being left alone till 8am will feel like a lie in! He can explore resort, find somewhere to buy a coffee and newspaper before it gets too hot.
Go for breakfast, then back to the room to get ready for the pool. Take turns playing in the pool. Use buggy for nap, pop her in the shade, you both relax. Lunch, maybe another nap? This time could be in.your room, this could be your time to get creative if you want a bit if holiday "romance"!
Repeat as necessary.
We did this last year with a 1 year old and 4 year old, the only chill time was when baby napped and ds1 went in the kids club. You do see the families with older kids and feel a bit jealous, but you know I look at photos of that holiday now and I'm so glad we went. Try and enjoy it with no expectations (and let go a little bit so dh takes over more).

I think you have to choose the right kind of holiday. A pool holiday in a hot country is madness. Uk... self catering. We rent a beautiful cottage every year... safe secure garden with amazing views. Go swimming at nearby outdoor pools if we fancy. No lying about but I hate that anyway. Trips out and eat out at lunch so we have a snacky dinner with wine once babies are sleeping safely. No stress. It's lovely.

I feel your pain as well, the only holidays I have enjoyed with a toddler have been where we threw quite alot of money at (eg 5* AI in Mexico). But even then didn't feel easy, just easier.

I wish we had the option of kids clubs but my dc is painfully shy and clingy so I couldn't do that to them.

Got a 3 month old and a 3 year old now so one room hotels aren't an option any more, so not sure what we'll do this year. I guess self catering but I hate the cooking so it's even less of a holiday for me.

Taking kids (7 and 2 1/12) on our first abroad holiday next month. I think it will be fine though, it’s with my parents and sister and my kids are the only smallies and get doted on so everyone will muck in! We found the villa on one of the child friendly websites and the pool can be completely secured so that will limit my heart attacks.with me luck though, the 2 yearb9ld will be a nightmare on the plane!

PS your dh sounds pretty useless if he can't even pack the bag for the day, he needs to step up. Give him a list of what needs to go in then leave him to it. If he forgets something he goes back to get it, and takes your dc.

DD was about 4 before there started being any fun for us in our holidays. Before that she actually didn't enjoy them - she didn't like being out of her home routine - so we had a whinging upset infant to deal with. She usually adjusted to the holiday location just as it was time to come home . We never tried the beach / pool type holiday with her: we've always had city breaks or UK self-catering, but it was all ghastly.

However, there's light at the end of the tunnel: she's 7 now and helps to plan our holidays! We still have intermittent whingeing (she'd spend all day every day on the iPad if we let her), but it's much better and there are moments when it's fun for us too.

Do you specifically mean holidays abroad, in the sun, with a pool?

We did that once when dc1 was about 18mo and I hated it for the reasons you’ve mentioned - she was too little to have any sort of common sense, so I was constantly helicoptering her, so that she didn’t wander into the pool and she’s very fair skinned and there was a heatwave at the time, so I was always trying to keep her out of the sun. She’s a good traveller normally, as we have to fly to visit my family, which we have done with her since she seas 5wo. But on that trip, we had enormous queues for security and then passport control, which she SCREAMED throughout. She then wouldn’t sleep in the hotel as it was a new place and too exciting. We had a wedding to go to on that trip as well and the hotel we all stayed at was lovely, but not good with a toddler at all. She was so tired from the lack of sleep that we actually couldn’t attend a good portion of the wedding as she fell asleep in the car there. We woke her to try and go to the wedding as the bride was about to arrive and dd went bananas. I could not calm her down at all so I had to take her back to the car and drive around till she went back to sleep, missing the wedding ceremony. The drinks reception which we came back for was actually pretty poorly planned as there was very little shade and it was blazing hot sunshine all day. We ended up having to leave before the meal as it was so hot and dd was on the edge of a massive tantrum. It was horrendous. There was a very smug couple wheeling a newborn around who kept saying how good their baby had been and I wanted to say “yes, dd was like that as a baby too” but I held my tongue.

Anyway, it was a stressful experience all in all and I have vowed not to take a toddler on a similar trip again.

We tend to stay in the uk and Ireland for holidays now and they’ve all been fab actually; we’ve been to Cork, NI, Cornwall, Wales, Jersey etc, when dd has been 6mo, 15mo, 21mo, 2 and a bit and almost 3. I’ve always liked uk holidays but also loved going to hot places pre-dc, but really don’t anymore. We have a second dc now and I think we’ll maybe take the two of them somewhere hot when the youngest is about 3. Assuming nobody else in my family or close group of friends decides to have a destination wedding before then, (I’m praying they don’t)!

We are going to Mallorca in June with (then) 13 month old DD. We’ve rented a villa with pool & grounds, and are going with friends, their 2 DSs (3yo and 10 mo), childfree couple and my parents. Love cooking / BBQs etc so not bothered about that - we always went self catering anywhere pre DD anyway.

Hopefully it will be fun, but this thread is making me nervous!

I’m a single mum and I took my DS on his first holiday when he was 9 months. He’s now 5 and we’ve never had a bad one yet! Maybe it’s because I normally work full time but we love that time together. I hope your trip improves

I've always enjoyed our holidays, but agree that they become more relaxed again when your child becomes more independent and is able to make friends. For us that was around 4yo. A year after that I was pregnant again and last year's holiday was much less relaxed again with a baby who was crawling and trying to entertain a 6 year old too who wasn't interested in making friends because he wanted to do things with us and his baby sister instead (and then got frustrated because there wasn't much she could do!) But the evenings were lovely when dd was in bed, we could have a few glasses of wine, listen to music and play cards and dominoes with our ds. The rest of the time we felt torn between the dc, so this quality time in the evening was treasured. We've always chosen holidays with lots to keep us all entertained, which definitely helps. We're looking forward to this year even though we is now a toddler because although exhausting, it's lovely that she's more interactive with us all. And ds makes a wonderful playmate for her!

I should of probably added to my post that we’ve never done a beach or pool holiday though as just not my thing.

We went to a children's farm resort thing in Devon when the kids were 18 months and it wasn't awful but even with everything geared to them, it was still basically a busman's holiday. At 4 we went to Denmark and that was awesome - they were just old enough to enjoy it, including going to a theme park - they were far braver on the rides than me! I think you have to give up the idea of holidays as you know them for a while, unless there's a kids' club - and ours didn't want to go to kid's club until they were 5, really, and still prefer hanging out with us so we only actually get holiday alone time when they are doing as specific kids only activity. This is basically the only reason I go on skiing holiday :-)

From day one if you choose the right holiday. Took DS at 6weeks to a seaside apartment 8 months to a static caravan 11 months just walking to a city break. Up to 2 I’d say if going for more than 2 nights book self catering where you can lounge around as home. No pool. Short stints at s pool or beach. Plan the hols around kids. Life and holidays pre kids has changed. As they get older cruises are good. Loads of childcare etc. You have a good few years ahead where you can’t lie by the pool uninterrupted, go clubbing and have lie ins. Holidays now are about family time mainly. Adjust your holidays and expectations accordingly and you’ll start to enjoy them straight away

When the children were small we went to villas, much easier they can have a sleep when they want which will enable them to stay up later. I think my youngest was 2 when we first went abroad and it worked out well. From the age of 5 we started to go to hotels as they liked the company of other children.

This thread is making me so nervous!! We have pfb DS who’s currently 4.5mths old.
We’ve booked the following holidays:
Centreparcs in June (6mths old)
Uk nts away to York (7mths old)
2wks in Majorca (will turn 10mths old)
And 4nts Disneyland Paris when he’ll be 17mths old!

I’m so looking forward to them all as DP works away during the week so spending time together is really precious to us. But are they going to be awful???

I've always loved my holidays with my children, at all ages!!

It's just about planning the right sorry of holidays and changing your views of what you'll be doing

Holidays are not about lying on a sun lounger or getting drunk or having lie one with my kids, they're about adventure and having fun and trying new things, getting then to experience new things... But also just a nice change from the pressure and stress of normal life working full time and juggling everything.

Ditto!

We took DC1 on his first holiday when he was 17 months. It was a fly-drive holiday to the US and Canada. It was great seeing things through his eyes, especially the locations DH and I had been to before. He had a fascination with exploring the bathrooms in each new hotel when we arrived in our new rooms, which was very amusing.

Since then we've explored many parts of the world together as a (growing) family and I treasure 99% of those memories.

I enjoyed bits of our holiday last year when toddler was 2. I'd advise self catering so you have a washing machine, fridge and space to play when they wake at 5am. Pools are too stressful as you have to stop them falling in or running. Go with family and friends so you get a break. A flat with a secure balcony is good as you can sunbathe on that while they toddle around playing!

DS is almost 3 and he’s been to a few different countries, one air bnb and the others hotels with childcare. Obviously very different styles of holidays, the air bnb one was Italy so we took him out to eat with us late no problem. He was 16 months so wanted to walk around a lot so that was the only annoying thing when it came to restaurants.
Night flight back from Dominican Republic at 18 months, he slept from before takeoff to after landing! Amazing!

I think the key for our family is to wait until after 12 months, otherwise got to drag the perfect prep and deal with sterilising. UK/visiting family not a problem but it’s a drag otherwise.
DS2 is now almost 6 months and we’ve booked Florida for when he’ll be 11 months, so technically will still have formula but hopefully he won’t be walking which might help...? 😄

In my experience it gets better once they are old enough to go to kids club a few hours a day.

Remember those days well. My son also hated the sand ( still does at 16) so we use to buy a cheap blow up paddling pool fill it with sea water and throw in some toys, kept him busy for ages. It gets better.

The only one we didn't enjoy was the one when we naively thought taking a seven month non sleeping baby on a city break in December was a top plan. It wasnt, although enough Gluwein made it tolerable. Other than that we do enjoy our holidays. The main thing to realise is that you don't get a holiday from parenting so you have to plan stuff that works with kids.

My first great family holiday was when we returned to the same place for the second time. I always thought people were boring to go on holidays to the same hotel/region when there is so much of the world to see... but I get it now. Sooooo much easier when you know what to expect, what will be missing, what to get where.... as do the kids. So relaxing. 3rd year returning this summer and I can’t wait!

We've taken DD on beach holidays twice, once at 6 month so not mobile and once at 18 months. Can honestly say we had a great time each time, yeah not like pre kids holidays but they were never going to be. We did go with some friends and their same aged DS which may have helped. We also went to Disneyland when she was 2.5 and can honestly say we loved every minute.

Ours have always been enjoyable, because we do Neilson resorts with baby and kids club. It's childcare that makes it a holiday and not "same shit, different climate".

[Is a horrible parent, doesn't care]

I loved holidays when my daughter was very small but you don't realise how much work it was until they are older and much easier to please. You are not a terrible mum! The first time we went away my daughter was a year old and she puked all over me, herself and the hand luggage en route to the airport. Thankfully it was less stressful when we got to the other side.