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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When did you start enjoying holidays with the kids?

183 replies

Holidayhell18 · 26/04/2018 19:33

I'm going to sound like an absolute cow I know, but here goes.

DH lost his grandma recently and she left him some money which he decided he wanted to spend on a family holiday to a 'dream destination'.

We're here. It's hell.

DD is 12 months, has just started walking and is into everything. This means she won't keep still and is forever darting off, giving me a heart attack whenever we're near the pool. We took her to the beach but she hated the sand. It's so so hot and I'm struggling to find anything to keep her occupied. The resort is ok but only has a small play area and I don't want her there all day especially in the mid day heat.

I'm a SAHM and normally it's fine because I've built a great little routine for us of groups and classes and friends but here it feels like those first few weeks again where I was totally clueless. DH tries but he'll pack the bag and forget nappies or wipes or hats etc... so I have to take control of everything.

Where we are is beautiful and somewhere I'd have loved to come before children, but I feel like I'm in mourning for my life (my holiday life) pre children where we could eat late and get drunk and lie on a sun lounger reading trashy novels.

So how long was it before you could relax and actually enjoy your holiday? Or does everyone do that already and I'm a shitty person and terrible mother??

OP posts:
Shimshiminysheroo · 27/04/2018 08:08

Either have zero expectations of relaxing or do neilsons...

JoandMax · 27/04/2018 08:09

We had lots of nice holidays when they were under 6 but not the kind of holidays we’d of chosen if we had no DC!! Easy self catering villas so we had plenty of space, could cook and get them in bed when they were tired. Nothing worse than being all squashed in together in a hotel room or having to creep quietly if they’re sleeping.....

Since youngest turned 7 we’ve done a couple of holidays we’ve really enjoyed as adults too. Paris last summer doing loads of sight seeing, as long as we stopped for drinks/ice creams the DC were fine. Then we went to Sri Lanka in March which was incredible, loads of traveling about seeing different places and all of us loved it. Doing Italy this summer but breaking up too much sightseeing with a few days in a villa with a pool for the kids to recharge and us to relax!

It really is about totally changing your expectations

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 27/04/2018 08:13

I took a 1 yr old and 2 yr old last year to spain and loved it

oblada · 27/04/2018 08:13

It's about the right sort of holidays. Our holidays are either joining family (abroad) or city breaks or walking sorts of holidays. You cannot do a sun/sea/sand holiday with a toddler in my view. But you can do a lot of touristy visiting things by popping them in a baby carrier!
We have rented caravans and gone walking with the kids in baby carriers. Also rented a narrow boat when 1 was still small to be happy in baby carrier and other could play in the boat by herself for a bit. We have planned a trip to Rome soon and they will be 18months, 4 and 7. Very much looking forward to it! We have done centerparcs when my first was 2.5yrs old. She was a bit young but because we went with my parents it was still very enjoyable.

For the pp - hope you enjoy your holidays but I have to say that centerparcs at that age is a bit pointless and a holiday in Majorca would definitely not be my first choice with a young one. Having said that Majorca isn't my kind of holiday anyway.

Dulra · 27/04/2018 08:14

Whenever we went on holidays to hot places when the kids were small they refused to eat they just couldn't cope with the heat so I used to spend the whole holiday stressing about them dehydrating and eating enough. Open pools are a nightmare with toddling kids as well. We started doing self catering in Ireland (where I'm from) for a few years which was way more enjoyable but busy. My kids are now 6,8 and 11 and we have been doing the eurocamps in Spain the last few years and they have been great. My kids can all swim so they are in and out of pool or the sea the whole time and me and dh are lounging watching them reading our books. We can all eat a meal together in the evenings and kids can cope with staying up late for the evening entertainment plus they always make pals so disappear with them every now and again to play tennis or cycle around the site. I would thoroughly recommend

Brokenbiscuit · 27/04/2018 08:18

I've really loved all of our holidays, even when dd was a baby. Yes, of course, we still had broken sleep, needed eyes in the back of our heads to keep her safe and had to spend our time a bit differently from how we might have done pre-kids. However, we were generally in a lovely place, with nice weather and entertaining a small child was a whole lot easier than being at work!

It's a pity you're not enjoying your holiday, but it certainly doesn't make you a shit mother. Maybe you just need to re-think where and how you do holidays while your dc are small?

OddestSock · 27/04/2018 08:19

It depends on the holiday. We had a lovely break with the kids when the youngest was 12 months at Center Parcs.

10 months later we had an ok trip to Disney world but it was too hot for them.

When DD2 was almost 3 we went to Disney world again, & it was completely different, we had an amazing time!

thepotatoesofdefiance · 27/04/2018 08:29

Ah I feel for you OP, we also learnt the hard way that holidays post kids are a very different thing to pre kids. They can be wonderful though but you need the right kind of holiday. With young children I would avoid big hotels, all inclusive and long haul travel like the plague.

Worst holiday: DS1 was about 18 months, in the Canary Islands. We went to an all-inclusive hotel but it was off season so mainly couples, no families, DS wouldn't eat the food and like your DD was scared of the sand, he also came down with a virus the first day and did nothing but sleep in the air-conditioned room for 3 full days (although we had a terrace so DH and I could at least relax in the sun with a drink while he slept but it was pretty stressful all the same especially as he wouldn't eat!)

Best holiday (so far): DS1 was nearly 4 and DS2 was 12 months. Self-catering with friends in Sicily. The place had a huge table on the shady terrace and a garden so we were able to have long lazy brunches in the mornings while the kids played in the garden. We hired bikes with child seats to get about, spent the days biking from beach to beach, swimming, building sand castles, exploring rock pools and eating ice-cream and other delicious food. By the evening the kids were so exhausted they went straight to sleep in the nice air-conditioned room and slept well, the adults could crack out the wine and eat/drink/chat/card games out on the terrace all evening. We even took the kids out for late dinner twice but we were sat outside with space for them to move and they love kids in Italy so everyone made a huge fuss of them (not a disapproving glance to be seen) so it was a lovely relaxing experience!

This year we are going camping in France with friends and their kids, mine will be 6, 3 and 8 months - I can't wait!

For now I would raid the hotel shop for anything that might help keep her entertained (inflatables for the pool, paddling pool and sunshade for the beach?), ask about nearby activities suitable for small children (any animal parks etc?) and take turns with DH so you get some time off and at least get to enjoy some of your holiday. Hope it gets better for you!

Haisuli · 27/04/2018 08:31

At 4 and 6, we took ours to Menorca and it was great. Obviously it was still work and we still had to be with them and watching them but it was suddenly fun and not as stressful. They'd go off and do activities with kids club for an hour in the morning and just after lunch there was a cinema club for the heat of the day. We'd sign them in and they'd sit and watch a movie with the ladies and other kids. It was lovely, a very chilled out holiday and lots of fun with them. Suddenly our world opened up and we've been happy holidaying ever since

famousfour · 27/04/2018 08:57

1 is probably the trickiest age. I think you need to find your holiday routine and you can't compare to pre-children holidays. We used to carve out some down time by sharing time by the pool whilst our DS had his long afternoon nap. So one would chill out in the room with the baby for half the nap whilst the other was by the pool and then we'd swap. The mini paddling pool idea might work. Pools are great with small kids. Take a bucket, books and toys? Beaches not so much I don't think except for a quick trip. Sandy and sticky!

I think from 2 plus they are really enjoyable as long as you don't expect to be able to lounge around all day.

famousfour · 27/04/2018 09:03

Also we always preferred hotels so we didn't have to cook or think about cleaning or breakfast but looked for ones with a room with a terrace or balcony so we could sit out in the evenings or during nap time.

helloallllll · 27/04/2018 09:10

Are you somewhere that has hotel babysitters? Assuming you feel comfortable with it? I remember when DCs were 1 and 2 and we were somewhere very hot. We ended up getting a babysitter over lunch when they both had a nap in the room. Was reasonable and gave us all a break!

MrKaplansGlasses · 27/04/2018 09:15

My youngest is 4 next month and we've just come back from the first holiday where I truly feel like I've been able to relax and kids have pretty much entertained themselves.

HairyToity · 27/04/2018 09:19

Choose a holiday around the kids. Mine used to love UK breaks, beach, park and animal feeding. It's the only way till they are about 7. I find it easier and usually cheaper.

littlepeas · 27/04/2018 09:30

I didn’t leave the UK with mine until the youngest was nearly 5 - I couldn’t face it before then. They are 9, 8 and 6 now and we’ve really enjoyed the holidays we’ve been on - mainly beach hols (long and short haul) but we've just come back from South Africa, our first trip where it’s been mainly sight seeing, and it was fab too!! A kids’ club helps if it’s a beach type hol and you want to relax - ours went in the morning, then we’d have lunch/the afternoon/dinner together. They enjoy it, they make friends, have fun and get to feel a bit independent - we get to sit on a sun lounger for a few hours!!

Cath2907 · 27/04/2018 09:34

Once we stopped trying to do the sorts of holiday's we'd done pre-kids! We now have a caravan, we don't travel more than a few hours drive and we do things the DD will enjoy with a few pub meals, take aways etc.. for the grown ups. It is so much more relaxed than trying to squash a kid round our old life. I don't think even my 7yr old DD would enjoy a hot foreign holiday with nothing but a beach to do.

babybythesea · 27/04/2018 10:37

Another one who has always loved holidays with the kids.
But then we weren't really lounging around the pool people to start with.
Mine are now 9 and 5 and we've pretty much always done self catering beach holidays in the UK with them, and always had fun. I don't worry about cleaning etc - not like at home. It's just a case of 10 minutes to keep it decent. Out all day, visits to castles etc. Beach. Ice creams. Job done. We do fly long haul every few years to see family in New Zealand and that's fine too. For the first time this year we had a few days in Singapore on the way through. It was hot but as we knew it was going to be we had hats, sun cream etc and the kids loved it.

But we haven't had to change what we did pre kids all that much. And my two have always loved the beach which makes it all easy and lots of fun. If you like to do the sort of holiday that kids don't fit into so well it's probably a lot harder! There are certain things we want to do but will wait until the kids are bigger. We went on safari before the kids were around and loved it. We want to take them but they need to be a bit bigger.

TawnyPort · 27/04/2018 10:39

What do you mean, start? I have always enjoyed my holidays with children, at all ages.

Hideandgo · 27/04/2018 10:45

Lucky you Tawney. I personally have struggled to enjoy 3 preschoolers at the beach while pregnant with hypermesis 😂

The only way is up!

habibihabibi · 27/04/2018 12:41

I
I took my kids travel cot to the beach and poolside and plonked them in it with toys. In the pool I got one of those floats they sit in rather than holding them constantly.
It's totally worth having a child free day or evening sighrseeing/lazing with your DH and getting a local babysitter to mind the baby.

londonmummy1966 · 27/04/2018 12:48

I'm another one in the camp of make sure there's a creche/kids club as you do then enjoy family time and me time. DH used to book 2 weeks self catering in seaside town. Ghastly as I was doing everything and more than I did at home and in a less well equipped environment. I eventually flipped the year he had some extra leave and thought we could have an extended SC holiday and said he could go on his own.

We then found a great hotel on the beach in Cornwall which cost an arm and a leg but had childcare for all ages which meant lots of kids around so we all had a really good holiday (even if we could probably have gone to Mauritius with what it cost us).

MadameGrizzly · 27/04/2018 12:55

I really started enjoying travel, holidays and activities once the youngest was ten.

Everyone could follow instructions, be reasoned with, carry their own stuff, walk long distances, manage disrupted bedtimes and changed meal times, and are able to read so can amuse themselves.

By ten they remember holidays, have some understanding of what they are seeing and they seem to have some appreciation the effort and expense involved.

JessicaJonesJacket · 27/04/2018 12:56

I remember that feeling of holidays just being an added stress and an unwelcome break from a working routine.
The first holiday I remember enjoying was when DD was about 18 months and we went to Prague just the two of us. We stayed in a nice hotel; had lunch at outdoor cafes; went to museums and parks. It was lovely.
As she got older, we opted for hotels in the UK with kids' clubs or self catering apartments in touristy areas with lots of activities for DCs.

Apathyisthenewblah · 27/04/2018 13:06

The only one I didn't enjoy so far is when we went with my mother. We get on well now we don't live together, we should remember that 2 weeks self catering is a lot like living together...
But we have always done lake and mountains type holidays where we self cater (but eat out in the day so no real cooking happens), have a plan for each day to go out but very unambitious like go on a boat, do a forest walk. Nothing like the city breaks or beach lounging of my pre-child days!

DD will be 5 on holiday this year and each year has got more pleasant. , so fingers crossed...

rainbowfudgee · 27/04/2018 14:50

I don't think holidays with young children are a waste of money. We've done UK cottages, caravan parks withe entertainment etc by the sea- not really our thing but plenty to do. France in a villa with our own pool and another year in a mobile home. Mallorca twice- once half board, once all inclusive in a massive complex aparthotel. We're trying European center parcs this year- lots of activities and more personal space.

Things we have learnt: we like having space so we booked a 4 bedroom cottage for our last UK break. Our kids love beaches but not in the height of summer... Easter time in wetsuits on a UK beach is ideal for them. We don't really want to do all inclusive again as although it's easy, in August it was too busy. Entertainment isn't really our cup of tea, we're happy with a glass of wine and a board game or TV.
Definitely adjust your expectations but make sure there's something in it for you. I insisted on a siesta every day on sunshine holidays - luckily the children complied and DH went out for a walk on his own. I also have managed swims on my own, looking round local shops etc... we take turns quite a bit at home so we do on holiday too. In a cottage we eat out several times in a week so minimal cooking.

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