Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

When did you start enjoying holidays with the kids?

183 replies

Holidayhell18 · 26/04/2018 19:33

I'm going to sound like an absolute cow I know, but here goes.

DH lost his grandma recently and she left him some money which he decided he wanted to spend on a family holiday to a 'dream destination'.

We're here. It's hell.

DD is 12 months, has just started walking and is into everything. This means she won't keep still and is forever darting off, giving me a heart attack whenever we're near the pool. We took her to the beach but she hated the sand. It's so so hot and I'm struggling to find anything to keep her occupied. The resort is ok but only has a small play area and I don't want her there all day especially in the mid day heat.

I'm a SAHM and normally it's fine because I've built a great little routine for us of groups and classes and friends but here it feels like those first few weeks again where I was totally clueless. DH tries but he'll pack the bag and forget nappies or wipes or hats etc... so I have to take control of everything.

Where we are is beautiful and somewhere I'd have loved to come before children, but I feel like I'm in mourning for my life (my holiday life) pre children where we could eat late and get drunk and lie on a sun lounger reading trashy novels.

So how long was it before you could relax and actually enjoy your holiday? Or does everyone do that already and I'm a shitty person and terrible mother??

OP posts:

therockinggazelle · 27/04/2018 14:58

God I thought it was just me! I used to live for holidays before kids. Now I hate them. My kids range from 2 to 7 and it's just torture. None of my friends seem to feel the same and seem to have a lovely time. It's just such hard work and paying through the nose for the privalege. I hope once the youngest is maybe over 5 it will improve

rainbowfudgee · 27/04/2018 15:01

It also depends on your children. Mine are quite well behaved eating out so can manage restaurants fine, but some kids get really bored. My eldest didn't enjoy kids club much... just tolerated it whereas her friends love it and want to get involved with all the entertainment. It was a bit noisy fir us so we probably won't do that again. Travel wise, we bought some in- car dvd players for them which will make our next eurotunnel trip a lot easier!

JennyOnAPlate · 27/04/2018 15:07

We went abroad for the first time when ours were 5 and 7. We wouldn't have done it earlier because it would have been just like being at home only warmer! I don't feel like I've had a holiday if I can't relax in the sun with a good book.

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/04/2018 15:21

I wouldn't choose to have a poolside holiday with a nonswimmer, that must be terribly unrelaxing. We went once to a villa with pool booked by some friends. They had a non mobile baby so could lounge, read etc but we had 2 preschoolers so had to go for loads of excursions. The evenings were fun though.
Other than that we have chosen depending on the age and stage of the children. Once they were all swimming we had pools but before that we had accommodation without pools and would travel to the beach or municipal pool if we wanted a swim. We once stayed in a large villa complex with shared pool that worked quite well, they were tiny then and we had the convenience of popping back to the house for siestas. They were pretty good in restaurants as long as engaged . It's a different type of holiday but nice all being together , I think.

helpconfused · 27/04/2018 16:11

We went abroad when DS was just 12m too. It was horrendous, scratching his legs up crawling off everywhere, kept standing and falling on the tiles in the apartment, trying to keep him in the shade, wanted to get in the pool but didn't like it once he was in there. Grrr. I said never again. He got sick on day 10 and the next 4 days were emergency drs, pharmacy and indoors :( Almost a cancelled flight home as he had a reaction to the meds they gave him!

He is almost 3 now and we recently went on a lodge break with friends. He loved it, was able to do more, did tobogganing, kids club activities, pool (with no tears).

He loves sand now, if we go somewhere with a beach/sandpit he will sit for hours digging. So summer holiday in the UK this year and know we will have a great time, single parent now and not braving abroad with DS just yet!

NellMangel · 27/04/2018 16:32

People keep advising me to do a foreign holiday before ds starts school due to crazy prices. But I can only imagine it being stressful with the heat, water, tiled floors. I'm a single parent too so couldn't do the tag team approach.

I used to love beach holidays, reading a book a day and eating late, then sitting watching the sunset with a cocktail. Sob!

Dahlietta · 27/04/2018 16:38

I've always enjoyed holidays with mine, but we've always done fairly active holidays. I wonder if it's worse if your idea of a holidays is relaxing somewhere peaceful as I can imagine that the introduction of toddlers might spoil that somewhat

expatmigrant · 27/04/2018 17:04

Been taken ours literally round the world both living and holidays since the oldest was 6 months old. They're 24 and 17 years now and we still can't shake them off. Can honestly not remember ever not enjoying our holidays, in fact had at times to literally dragged them back on the plane.

You need to find the right holiday for both you and the DC.
The most active holidays can actually be the most relaxing, when both parents and DC are physically and mentally engaged, but away from the every day stress from home and work.

Peachsnowpop · 27/04/2018 17:44

orchidinthesun - what's the point of going away to 'shove them in holiday club' as you say ???? No point going away

Ohyesiam · 27/04/2018 17:47

I started enjoying them when I moved my own goal posts. Pre kids I wanted s wild beach with no one else on it. After kids I wanted swanage, with a Punch and Judy booth, town a minutes walk away, and accommodation handy.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 27/04/2018 18:27

what's the point of going away to 'shove them in holiday club' as you say ????

Er, the point would be the delicious alcoholic beverage you get to consume in the sun while enjoying childfree time with your partner . Easiest question ever. Or in my case, the bike rides round a Greek island or the windsurfing while my kids are entertained.

[Hoiks judgy pants]"Well, I don't go on holiday to dump my kids in childcare! I ENJOY my children's company!"

Good for you. I do, and I'll toast you from the bar with my Kindle and my bellini.

Furano · 27/04/2018 18:50

I enjoyed holidays with mine always. Took the second away when she was just 3 months!

It’s harder when they are toddlers but I still enjoyed it. No cleaning or cooking, warm weather, fun times in the pool or sea. Letting them have chips and ice cream for tea because we were on holiday.

oncemoreunto · 27/04/2018 18:52

A few hours in a holiday club for the kids has a lot of good reasons behind it, meals with DH, couples massages, adult spa trip, quiet chilling and space for sex. Dc are great on holiday but a little adult only time is great too.

Lethaldrizzle · 27/04/2018 18:53

Love holidays with the kids! From babies up. Its all great

Furano · 27/04/2018 18:54

orchidinthesun - what's the point of going away to 'shove them in holiday club' as you say

They might enjoy it for a few hours? It gives you a bit of adult time?

You don’t have to spend every second with your child to prove you’re the best ever Mum.

Ragwort · 27/04/2018 18:58

My DS (an only child) has always loved holiday clubs - in fact even last year on a Neilson holiday he enjoyed the teenager 'club' at 16.

He's had loads of 'family time' with DH and I (I was a SAHM & DH worked from home) - he probably wants a change of company . You don't need to be tied to your DC (or DH for that matter) 24/7 - in fact I can't think of anything worse.

Cantspell2 · 27/04/2018 19:08

I loved all my holidays when my children were young. Went every year abroad starting when my oldest was 3 months old. Even went to the Dominican Republic when son was just over a year and I was pregnant with the second.
I know they are not popular now but I used wrist straps a lot when we were out and about, going through airports etc. As they got older they did sometimes go to the kids clubs but it was left up to them and we were quite happy for them not to go even if it had been paid for.
Taught both of my children to swim on hoildays just by playing in the pool with them.
Yes the holidays didn’t involve a lot of laying on the beach with a book, late nights drinking and eating or long shopping trips but they were still great and even though my boys are adults now we all have a lot of great memories.

squidgesquodge · 27/04/2018 19:28

Holidays are basically childcare in a different location. The first ones with children are particularly bad as you suddenly realise that the word "holiday" is never going to have quite the same meaning.
The toddler phase is hard work. The bit which really took me by surprise was the "just swimming and thinking that they are much more competent than they are" or that they've been in the pool for ages and suddenly get really knackered but are in the middle of the pool.
No doubt there is going to be another worrying stage when they're teenagers.
As it is, mine are 8 & 5 and we had a really enjoyable holiday at Easter... although DH and I still spent a lot of time talking about the proper holidays we'll go on by ourselves when they're older.

1Potato2 · 27/04/2018 19:39

I love you Queen. I'm with you!

yikesanotherbooboo · 27/04/2018 20:17

Ragwort has elucidated one of the issues here as far as I am concerned ( not speaking for others). If you are a SAHM being in a warmer climate but still cookin/ bag packing/herding is not a holiday unless your partner steps up. If you WOHM then it is a treat to do all of those things and 'a change is as good as a rest'.
As stated above I have enjoyed all holidays with the children (26 years now) but my DH who does little in terms of keeping DC company in the usual way of things really steps up on hols . Do activities that offer something for everyone as best you can and don't do things that feel onerous. We are not holiday club or campsite people because I want to be with the children on holiday as I miss them when I am at work and we like privacy but my best friend adored eurocamp type holidays when hers were young as they disappeared to make friends on day one and she could lounge with s book or play tennis unbothered which was a luxury she never had as a SAHM.
Try again OP

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 27/04/2018 20:22

When the youngest is about 3, give or take. Maybe 2 if yours isn't that much of a dick. But they'll be very different holidays to the sort you had pre kids.

Agree cheap and cheerful works. There's nothing like paying to go somewhere amazing and not being able to enjoy it because you're shackled to a stupid toddler. At least if you have a crap time and you've not spent much you mind less. 1 is the worst age, I'd say.

grasspigeons · 27/04/2018 20:28

holidays with young children are just work in a less suitable setting without your support network.

I started enjoying them when the children started to have an interest in the types of things you do on holiday - so things the kids naturally enjoyed doing that I could go along with (so for us its all swimming, bike rides, beaches, boats)

They also improved massively when they slept through, so I wasn't just over tired and worried about the crying waking other guests. And other improving factors were them being more robust and able to self care a lot more.

so probably around 3 years old.

Now they are both school age, holidays are brilliant.

chocolateworshipper · 27/04/2018 20:39

I'm probably not the best person to ask. We took 2 teenagers to a fabulous hotel in the canary islands - they argued constantly and the eldest was too busy pining for her boyfriend to enjoy herself

Lemons1571 · 27/04/2018 20:43

I would say around 4-5 it gets better, then gets a little bit easier every year after that. We never spent money on holidays other than a caravan in Devon until youngest was 4, didn’t see the point as none of them liked kids club.

CoffeAndCream · 27/04/2018 21:03

We have taken the dc on holidays home and abroad from when dd was 3 months old, I've enjoyed them all except 1 and that was difficult because it was just as ds was diagnosed with autism at 3 and the holiday was too much for him. He is 10 now and we have continued having a couple of holidays a year.

For us the key to a good holiday is planning - the resort needs to suit everyone. Happy dc = happy parents!!!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread