Softzilla returns..... to soft play

[Unreasonableunreasonableness]

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

*person, not persona. I've lost my reading glasses, soz.

It would be better if your kids don’t play together. By the time they’re at school you could be fending off kids party invites, play dates etc. This could go in for years OP!

Go on for years

I think that you've behaved impeccably throughout. How stressful.

Can I just say that I think you need a quiet word with nursery to ensure that under no circumstances is your DD to ever be collected by her. I'm sure they have fair and reasonable safeguarding in place but worth highlighting to them.

Have you checked who's paying for this BBQ at the pub?
(Sorry - long time lurker, rarely post but I couldn't resist!)

Well I woke up this morning to a message saying maybe she should come over to discuss things, not to worry she can remember where I live she'll pop in sometime!
I'm not sure she actually does know my address. She's never been here but I probably have talked about where we live.
Either way I called the police officer and him and a colleague are going to go over first thing this morning to have a word.
Does anyone know what the next step would be if she doesn't listen to them?

You start collecting evidence in earnest. Take photos, save sound recordings and videos.
Any time something happens to do with her, you write down where, when, what happened, who witnessed it and how it made you feel,

O my goodness. She really does have some kind of problem. Either MH or a personality disorder or something. Who would phone and phone and be ignored only to decide they need to pop over uninvited? So glad the police are going to step in.

Also if your child is left anywhere that should could access him (nursery, babysitter, play dates etc) you tell the person in charge explicitly that you will never allow her near him and that she is stalking you.

Let's hope that the police visit has some positive impact. You must be exhausted.

I agree with SenoritaVita about warning nursery and giving anyone else that looks after your DD very clear instructions about who picks her up. This woman is deluded and you need to think ahead so that your family defences are watertight

You need to warn Nursery and anywhere that your child will be left alone and make sure she is not able to take your child!
She sounds like a total psycho!

I would text her back saying

"Stop contacting me, stay away from me and my family. I have spoken to the police for advice and if you continue to harass me then I will be officially making a formal complaint."

This way there is absolutely no way she can misconstrue the situation!

That last text is very menacing indeed ! Right thing with police involvement. The police will certainly give you advice on next steps. (hopefully after this they won't need to be taken.) Good luck.

I'm glad the police are going to see her this morning, this really is a case of stalking. I do think it an MH issue, as this fixation on you is just not normal. I hope she listens to them and backs off, but I wouldn't bank on it.

I'm surprised that the police haven't asked you to make a formal statement with dates, times and details before they intervene.

My guess is that she will be served with a PIN, but ask the officer dealing with it what to expect and what to do if she makes further contact after she has been spoken to.

I wouldn't put it past her not to take this lying down. I would be prepared for outlandish counter allegations.

I am so sorry this is still going on. I’m so glad the police are taking it seriously. I can only echo everyone else. Get you and your dcs safety locked down. Obviously your dh knows but I would be letting wider family and friends know to be on the alert.

Sorry if I sound alarmist. But I think she’s totally unpredictable so you have to be prepared in every way possible. Hope the police can offer more advice

Glad the police are gong to speak to her. Maybe you should update the group leader too. If she does not leave you alone you call police and I think they can arrest or at least caution her on it with threat of arrest

Gosh! Keep reporting to the police, keep not replying to her, she is nuts...
Any chance even if small that she is doing this to make you feel scared? I mean, that she knows how is making you feel and is pushing your buttons with these creepy messages of "leave your DD with me in this mystery party that is not even a kids' party" and now "I'll pop up sometime at your door even though I supposedly did not know where you live, and I'm not telling you when so you just are worried all day"? My question I guess is if you think she is aware of everything and being very malicious, or if she thinks she is in the right and that she has done nothing wrong, becoming of a deluded stalking nature.

I wish I had practical advice :(
Stay safe

Is there someone who can come hang out at yours today? Just incase,

Once the police have talked to her, her reaction could be to listen to them and do as they advise her, or she could flip, and coming flying round to your house in a rage.

Might be an idea to go out for the day, or have someone come round so you’re not there alone.

Have you printed out all your posts from here on Softzilla? They would help show how you felt with each contact you've had with her and add context to text messages too. I hope the shock of the police doorstepping her does the trick but I suspect it might take more 😢

Have you printed out all your posts from here on Softzilla? They would help show how you felt with each contact you've had with her and add context to text messages too. I hope the shock of the police doorstepping her does the trick but I suspect it might take more 😢

Hopefully a visit from the police will be a huge shock to her and she will back right off.

So glad you rang the police and they're going to speak to her this morning. If she ignores them after that, I expect they can arrest her.

Hopefully, you're near the end of this now.

Well I gather they are with her. However I'm not sure it is having the desired effect....
'Seriously, you called the fucking police on me!?'

I'd be finding out how to take out an injunction against SZ to keep her away from me and mine including any form of contact.