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Just got told that I'm racist toward my own child

355 replies

jumpiin · 24/04/2018 17:14

I was at the park with my son, not many people there just one other lady with her two kids. I smiled at her on the way in and she gave me a dirty look. Bit strange but just ignored it. I was playing and we were having a great time, we were laughing and I called him a cheeky monkey affectionately. This lady storms over to me and tells me not say that around her children (she was black for the record) she was very rude and stood right in my face. I asked her what the problem was and she gave me a big speech I can't exactly how she worded it as I'm fuming but she basically said, me calling my own baby a cheeky monkey was racist because he's mixed, she also said that I was ignorant and that I needed to educate myself because I know nothing about my own child's race. She then told me that I'm "just another one of those girls who thinks a brown baby is an accessory". She then stormed off and I've come straight home as the afternoon was ruined and I'm still reeling! I assume she made these assumptions because I'm white, I've taken the time to learn about my DPs culture and DS is learning to speak English and Swahili and as for seeing him as an accessory that's just ridiculous, he is the most precious and important thing in my life. Aibu to think that she was in the wrong here and that she is a part of the problem? And to think that I can call my child whatever I want as long as there's no malice behind it?!

OP posts:
GameChanger01 · 25/04/2018 15:12

This thread is cray cray. Seriously in the real world no one would care.

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 15:14

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Karigan1 · 25/04/2018 15:15

She was not only wrong but she was the one being racist.

TheKimJongUnofFeminism · 25/04/2018 15:31

“I am sorry but I am one of those that up til reading this thread, genuinely had no idea about the phrase "Cheeky Monkey" as being racist.”

Honestly? You have never heard of football crowds making monkey noises at black players?

Failingat40 · 25/04/2018 15:51

Does "Silly Sausage" have any connotation I should know about or is that not acceptable either?

Exactly! I was brought up with "Silly Billy"!!
I wonder who poor Billy was...Confused

Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 16:04

I doubt they say 'Cheeky Monkey', though. They make monkey noises. I've always called my DDs 'Cheeky Monkey', a lot of mums do. If the OP is a loving mum, and it sounds like she is, her DS won't think she's being racist towards him. But it wouldn't be right to say it to other mixed race children, not at all.

TheKimJongUnofFeminism · 25/04/2018 16:09

Remember when someone called Michelle Obama an "ape in heels"?

There are loads of other things to call children. Why use one that might upset someone?

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:10

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Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 16:29

Why am I a 'silly cunt'? My DDs are white, so I'm not being racist towards them. I'm the 'foreigner', as I'm half Czech actually. I've said that the OP should be careful not to call other mixed race children 'Cheeky Monkey'. It sounds like the dad is ok with her calling their DS that, so it's absolutely all right. So how am I a 'silly cunt'? Hmm

Willitbe · 25/04/2018 16:38

MirriVan - you really had no idea that there is a history of POC being compared to monkeys? Sorry but I don't even know what POC is!
Never mind history, that black footballers in recent times have monkey noises called out to them by football fans, bananas thrown on the pitch, etc? - No, I do not watch the news regularly and have never heard of this. So the honest truth is that no I have no idea.

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:38

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Willitbe · 25/04/2018 16:41

TheKimJongUnofFeminism -No I have never heard of football players having monkey noises made at them, so was not aware of this. I would apologise for my ignorance, but I don't live in England so this might be why I have missed this.

Failingat40 · 25/04/2018 16:45

@MirriVan are you unhinged?

You have missed the entire point of op's post.

Cheeky Monkey was said to her own child which an angry black woman heard and stuck her oar in with some racist prejudice of her own.

Monkey is not a racist word unless it's used in an abusive way. Op was not being abusive, unlike you.

You posting personal attacks directly on here calling people Cunts is not even comparable and the fact you think it is is laughable.

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:45

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MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:46

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MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:48

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Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 16:50

And I have the right to object to it. And what is the silly idea you're referring to? I corrected your statement about football fans. They don't say 'Cheeky Monkey', do they? I've only ever heard that phrase directed at young children as a term of endearment. I accept that a white mum saying it to her mixed race child could be triggering to people who have suffered racist abuse.

Just what is silly about that? Is it just because I didn't agree with you? A lot of people disagree with me, I don't insult them. Because guess what? It's a free country. Hmm

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:51

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MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:52

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MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:53

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Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 16:54

Trouble is, for most of us it's not a term of endearment. Try to engage with facts, and not to throw insults at other posters. You still haven't explained what you think we said that makes us 'silly cunts'.

MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:57

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Failingat40 · 25/04/2018 16:57

Especially for you @MirriVan

Just got told that I'm racist toward my own child
MirriVan · 25/04/2018 16:57

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Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 16:57

Some words are only associated with racist insults, eg the N word. The word 'monkey' refers to the animal it denotes. Monkeys are cheeky, hence children are called 'cheeky monkeys'.