Just got told that I'm racist toward my own child

[jumpiin]

I was at the park with my son, not many people there just one other lady with her two kids. I smiled at her on the way in and she gave me a dirty look. Bit strange but just ignored it. I was playing and we were having a great time, we were laughing and I called him a cheeky monkey affectionately. This lady storms over to me and tells me not say that around her children (she was black for the record) she was very rude and stood right in my face. I asked her what the problem was and she gave me a big speech I can't exactly how she worded it as I'm fuming but she basically said, me calling my own baby a cheeky monkey was racist because he's mixed, she also said that I was ignorant and that I needed to educate myself because I know nothing about my own child's race. She then told me that I'm "just another one of those girls who thinks a brown baby is an accessory". She then stormed off and I've come straight home as the afternoon was ruined and I'm still reeling! I assume she made these assumptions because I'm white, I've taken the time to learn about my DPs culture and DS is learning to speak English and Swahili and as for seeing him as an accessory that's just ridiculous, he is the most precious and important thing in my life. Aibu to think that she was in the wrong here and that she is a part of the problem? And to think that I can call my child whatever I want as long as there's no malice behind it?!

To a PP, I don’t think this is comparable to white people not being able to use the N word. Obviously that’s not acceptable because of its historical usage as ONLY a slur for black people which they have now reappropriated.

The OP was calling her OWN child a cheeky monkey, the other woman was U.

But the OP said that the woman was giving her the 'evils' before she even said 'Cheeky Monkey'. So the other woman was the racist!
She didn't like the fact that a white woman had a brown baby.
Plenty of 'reverse racism' around, but everyone chooses to ignore it. Because of course only whites are racist...Right?

Nothing to do with a Gollywog, a Gollywog was designed to mimick a black person, a money is an actual animal who is playful and cheeky like ds. No comparison!

mirri but they want to keep using it! And heaven forbid that people can't just do whatever they want all the time!!!!

Universally accepted means something else on this thread. Something like because I haven't noticed anything untoward, then it's universally accepted and I'm going to ignore anyone else saying otherwise.

I understand that it has been used as a racist term, and I get that, is why I would not use that towards other people's children only ds in private. It is universally accepted, it has not been banned from use as yet, but I can see it going that way.

Mabey if op wants to continue using it to her ds, she has to do so in private.

Cheeky monkey has been said for so many years in the U.K. meaning a mischievous child.
Thinking of it as racist is idiotic, almost as idiotic as my niece learning ‘baa baa rainbow sheep’ so not to cause offence

“Thinking of it as racist is idiotic, almost as idiotic as my niece learning ‘baa baa rainbow sheep’ so not to cause offence”

I thought that universally accepted meant that everyone agreed and there was no disagreement. There's disagreement here on the term "cheeky monkey" - so it's not universally accepted. Universally accepted doesn't mean "hasn't been banned yet".

“It is universally accepted, it has not been banned from use as yet, but I can see it going that way.”

How do you think it would be banned?

@Aeroflotgirl

Op doesn't "have" to limit herself to using this term in private. She just needs to be aware of how people may/may not react if they overhear.

Op updated at 0931 today and has discussed this incident with her dp. Between them they have jointly decided how they will use this term in a manner that suits their family.

It will be seen to be more unacceptable to use, and more people will therefore not use. it.

Yes that's good Nurse.

“It will be seen to be more unacceptable to use, and more people will therefore not use. it.“

Some new definition of “banned” I have not previously come across.

Shh, Mirri- don’t tell everyone!

Re. the 'bit nippy' (as in weather) - the 'nip' part actually comes from Dutch (nippen meaning to sip) and was brought into English to mean pinch/squeeze. 'Nip' (with the N capitalised) as a derogative for Japanese came later and is not connected to the context of cold weather. Thanks to the ability of English to soak up words from all over the world, a massive overhaul and cross-referencing is probably needed.

So you’re teaching your pre-school child Swahili?

Yes, that's what OP said? Why wouldn't you start from birth onwards?

OP, woman as mad as a box of 🐸 🐸 🐸...ignore!

aeroflot considering we live in a world where people still call my kids 'chink' in the street, I don't think you need to worry about 'cheeky monkey' being banned.

I am sorry but I am one of those that up til reading this thread, genuinely had no idea about the phrase "Cheeky Monkey" as being racist.

Can I ask are there any acceptable terms of endearment for children who are doing something funny? Does "Silly Sausage" have any connotation I should know about or is that not acceptable either?